Don't mind me, just ranting.

[bard_linn]

I figured out why I was getting sick. >_< Turns out there's something in our water supply. *grabs bottled water*



I've been feeling rather weird lately. And I don't like it. It's like I've regressed to a five year old. And on top of it, it's showing up in my dreams. (More accurately, what sneaks into my thoughts when I get off topic. I don't remember my dreams generally.) You know, the accidentally-finds-great-treasure/magic item/whatever-Sueish type thoughts. In other words, I'm having this craving to be SPECIAL. Which is stupid. >.> *smacks self*

And to top it off, I'm borderline fandom apathy. I'm reading stuff and not caring, unable to write at all, and even rewatching is kinda "who cares." I'm tired of it all. But at the same time I'm grasping onto every second of it, afraid that I'll loose it. Yeah, I'm weird.

The best thing for me might to be is take a break. But I'm afraid to.



Stupid-Memes-Which-Are-Like-Having-Only-Half-A-Math-Problem:

kaitou_marina: 3, 4, 5, 8 possible. I'm leaning towards 5. (But I shall never know and always be in doubt.)
hime1999: 3, 5, 11, 15 No clue, cause I am thick headed. o.O Maybe 3?
anax: I'm five. FIVE. *STARES AT ANAX*

Comments

[stickmarionette.livejournal.com]

I kind of burnt out like that for HP fandom...the best thing to do, IMHO, is to not force yourself to do anything, otherwise you really might burn out. So yes, hope you feel better soon, but if you're not feeling so great, there's no need to force yourself into doing stuff XD

[bard-linn.livejournal.com]

Thanks! ^.^ I'll try and take it easy. Maybe try something different.

[chiba-yuriko.livejournal.com]

I know that feeling. A break really does sound like a good idea, but I definitely get that - being afraid to. Stepping back gives it as much of a chance to slip through your fingers for good as it does strengthening your love of it. However, killing it slowly because you are holding on too tight is awful too. Just step back for a little bit maybe. Not very long, just a little.

And in my opinion occassionally indulging in making yourself feel special is not stupid. I get like that. More often than I like to admit usually XD;;; But there is no harm in giving in to it occassionally in whatever form floats your boat, you know? It would probably help the need fade away too.

By the way, I didn't get a chance to give you this last night, but thanks for the file ^____^ <3 (And feel better)

[bard-linn.livejournal.com]

Thank you. THANK YOU! I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who gets that feeling- and you summed it up perfectly. *hugs you*

And THANK YOU A THOUSAND TIMES for the pic. *cuddles it* ^______^

[anax.livejournal.com]

I had a dream the night before last which starred me as Edward Elric. Hah, top that for corny cheese.

I don't think dreams really mean very much, except that my dreams tend to be more vivid when I'm having a med change, and I don't remember them at all when I'm depressing. The actual content seems to make no difference at all. I wouldn't read too much into your dreams.

As far as fandom goes, I think you might be getting burned out on how much responsibility you're taking for various parts of it. If you feel that way, it might be a good idea to just back off a little and enjoy it as it comes to you, rather than go out and try to participate. Sometimes that can bring the joy back.

[bard-linn.livejournal.com]

Well, there was the one time various anime characters told me to buy the surround sound system....

Like I said, they aren't dreams so much as day-dreams, which I have complete control over. So when I end up in those thought patterns I get annoyed at myself.

Completely possible. I did go from "super lurker" to "really active participate" rather quickly. ^^;;;;;;;; (Stupid Rachel. Make sure not to do that in RL but do it in fandom. Head, meet desk. Repeatedly.) I probably will try that, though I feel better just having said it, if that makes any sense. Thank you for the advice! <3

[acdragonmaster.livejournal.com]

Absolutely nothing wrong with Sue-ish thoughts, I'd daresay most people like to imagine themselves as the hero. The difference is having the discretion to know what to write and what to keep to yourself, and that doesn't seem like it'd be a problem for you, anyway.

or y'know you could always just write out something that's whatever you feel like and never post it nor look at the file ever again

[bard-linn.livejournal.com]

There's protagonist and there's sue. As a writer, I'm getting irked at myself for the later.

waste of time, that.