FMA: Control
Jul. 21st, 2005 10:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bard_linnTitle: Control
Summary: Al's thoughts on Edward.
Note: Old fic of mine that was posted at ff.net (I'm in the process of pulling the good ones and editing them). I still like it to an extent. Inspired by the image of Al holding Ed back, which happens a lot in fanfiction.
PG, Gen. During series.
Control
They compliment me on my control.
They think its praise. In fact to many it probably would be. Keeping my brother contained isn’t easy after all. But they don’t understand what that control cost so they can’t understand how much it hurts to hear that.
When we were young brother and I did everything together. I followed him without question. The only thing we ever argued about was our father. My brother was my guiding light, probably because Father was never there. They don’t know Ed wasn’t always like this. Oh, he was always driven but he used to stop and enjoy things. He became more determined and focused after Mother died and he wanted to revive her but it still wasn’t on this level. It was only after he promised to restore my body that he became so utterly obsessed to the point he often disregarded his own health.
And I’m the only one he listens to.
It’s not because he loves me. (Though he does. So much that it makes my nonexistent heart ache. If he didn’t then I would no longer exist. He lost his arm for me. How many siblings would sacrifice that much?) It’s not even because he’s my brother.
It’s because of guilt.
When he first got his automail he drove himself so hard that he almost seriously injured himself several times. He wouldn’t listen to Aunt Pinako and Winry but he would listen to me. I’d ask him softly and he would immediately stop with this terrible look in his eyes. He feels like he can do so little for me these days. He can’t make me something to eat, he can’t hold me when I have a nightmare and he can’t ruffle my hair in that older brother fashion that used to make me feel as if the world was a perfect place.
These days it’s even worse. Ed works himself so hard that it would kill someone less. He forces himself to go days straight rarely eating right or sleeping enough. I do what I can to make sure he stays healthy and sane. He is our drive and strength; I am our conscience and restraint. Is it such a surprise we make a good team? We are two damaged souls but make a complete person together.
Still, as I hold Brother back yet again from attacking the Colonel, I look forward to the day when I don’t have to restrain him with metal arms. Instead I’ll watch as Ed stands proud on the two legs he was born with and regains everything he lost.
Sometimes, it’s only that image that keeps me going.
Summary: Al's thoughts on Edward.
Note: Old fic of mine that was posted at ff.net (I'm in the process of pulling the good ones and editing them). I still like it to an extent. Inspired by the image of Al holding Ed back, which happens a lot in fanfiction.
PG, Gen. During series.
Control
They compliment me on my control.
They think its praise. In fact to many it probably would be. Keeping my brother contained isn’t easy after all. But they don’t understand what that control cost so they can’t understand how much it hurts to hear that.
When we were young brother and I did everything together. I followed him without question. The only thing we ever argued about was our father. My brother was my guiding light, probably because Father was never there. They don’t know Ed wasn’t always like this. Oh, he was always driven but he used to stop and enjoy things. He became more determined and focused after Mother died and he wanted to revive her but it still wasn’t on this level. It was only after he promised to restore my body that he became so utterly obsessed to the point he often disregarded his own health.
And I’m the only one he listens to.
It’s not because he loves me. (Though he does. So much that it makes my nonexistent heart ache. If he didn’t then I would no longer exist. He lost his arm for me. How many siblings would sacrifice that much?) It’s not even because he’s my brother.
It’s because of guilt.
When he first got his automail he drove himself so hard that he almost seriously injured himself several times. He wouldn’t listen to Aunt Pinako and Winry but he would listen to me. I’d ask him softly and he would immediately stop with this terrible look in his eyes. He feels like he can do so little for me these days. He can’t make me something to eat, he can’t hold me when I have a nightmare and he can’t ruffle my hair in that older brother fashion that used to make me feel as if the world was a perfect place.
These days it’s even worse. Ed works himself so hard that it would kill someone less. He forces himself to go days straight rarely eating right or sleeping enough. I do what I can to make sure he stays healthy and sane. He is our drive and strength; I am our conscience and restraint. Is it such a surprise we make a good team? We are two damaged souls but make a complete person together.
Still, as I hold Brother back yet again from attacking the Colonel, I look forward to the day when I don’t have to restrain him with metal arms. Instead I’ll watch as Ed stands proud on the two legs he was born with and regains everything he lost.
Sometimes, it’s only that image that keeps me going.
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no subject
Date: 2005-12-16 08:31 pm (UTC)BTW, when I get a chance, is it okay if I link your translations to the archive? :3
no subject
Date: 2005-12-17 03:09 pm (UTC)Happy to see you survived to your exams! And thanks for the compliment ^^ (now you're going to be overwhelmed by comments if you keep encouraging me)
no subject
Date: 2005-12-17 10:24 pm (UTC)*ENCOURAGES* I love comments. I'm something of an anti-lurker. XD;;