bard_linn

Summary: And now, for a little magic.
Warnings: Shortness, crack, ~~suckiness~~ Roy cosplaying (kaitou kidish tendencies), Established R/E

For

mikkeneko, who wanted tied up Ed for her birthday. Hope it was a good one!

Old Dog, New Tricks

“Why do I have to do this again?”

“Armstrong needs a distraction,” Roy repeated for the twentieth time, fighting to keep from laughing outright. The pair were behind a curtain erected just for the occasion. On the other side, the inhabitants of the small city were gathering, looking intrigued at the homemade stage.

Ed growled and tugged on his blue shirt again. The thing was skin tight as were the navy pants that Roy had insisted he wear. Well, he could understand the concept, but he didn’t have to like it. At least the trick required the tight clothing so Roy couldn’t throw him in a dress. The blond shuddered at the thought.

The flame alchemist on the other hand, was enveloped in more fabric than usual. He had a tailored suit, made in bright blue with silver piping along the seems so every movement caught the light, and the whole thing came with silver bowtie. His hands were still enclosed in gloves, but these lacked the familiar transmutation circle. A long cape was attached at the shoulders of the outfit, blue with silver lining. On top of the whole ensemble went a bright blue top hat, adorned with a white rose.

“You look ridiculous,” Ed hissed.

“Now Fullmetal – ”

“Gentlemen, there is a rather large crowd gathered. If you would like to begin?”

“Certainly,” Roy smiled to the mayor. He quickly picked up a pair of hand cuffs and a few lengths of rope, along with several other assorted items. “After you, my assistant.” Ed gave his lover a dirty look and started out on stage. Roy caught him as he walked past. “Perhaps we can use these later?” He gestured with the restraints.

Ed flushed deep red. “In your dreams.”

“Most certainly,” Roy purred, then released the younger man and followed him around to the center of the stage.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” the mayor smiled. “I am proud to present the Twin Embers, here to perform for us today!”

Ed winced at the name. Really, couldn’t Roy have thought of something better? He waited, helping the Flame Alchemists with a few slight of hand tricks until the grand finale approached. He barely paid attention actually. He was more interested in recounting the trick he had pulled over on Roy last week. Really, who would have thought his lover had such a fear of fish of all things? The two small fish in the pot had completely surprised Roy. The man had dropped the pot, fish and all. Of course that had resulted in Ed dogging flames again, but it had been worth it for the look on the Colonel’s face….

“And now, if I could have your assistance,” Roy gestured to a pretty young lady in the audience. The woman happily bounced up onto the stage, stars practically shining in her eyes. Ed mentally growled as Roy placed his hand on the girl’s shoulder. “Now, if you wouldn’t mind testing these restraints…” He flashed a charming smile. “Wouldn’t want anyone to think we were tricking you.”

‘No’, Ed mentally rolled his eyes, ‘not like we’re cheating since I’ll be able to use alchemy to get out. Why would we use trick cuffs and the like?’

“Ah, wonderful. Now if you would retake your seat, thank you. I shall now chain and bind my assistant, and then submerse him in this giant milk jug.” Ed stood still as Roy carefully fastened the cuffs about his wrists and bound his arms and legs. The blond mentally grumbled. The last thing he wanted to do was go inside a container that once held milk. At least it was filled with water.

Ed stiffened as he caught sight of Roy’s smirk. Those dark eyes were definitely filled with mischief. What was his lover up to? He couldn’t pull anything in front of all these people; he’d blow their cover!

“And just for a little bit more of a challenge, I’ve filled the jug with milk!”

Ed’s eyes went wide as he was tossed into the jug. He attempted to curse, only to get a mouthful of milk instead.

As soon as he got out of here, Ed mentally swore, Roy was dead meat.

Note: Houdini escaped from a giant milk can (filled with water) in 1908, which is where the inspiration for this comes from.