Remembrance

[bard_linn]

Title: Remembrance
Content Warnings: Grief, mentions of canonical violence 
Pairings: None (Gen)
Summary: While living in Eorzea Joshua Rosefield mourns those lost on the night of flames.
Originally Posted in: The Armiger Discord

The Rising brought out a lot of emotions for the people of Eorzea. Every year Joshua found himself entangled in the proceedings to some extent, which just seemed to be his life state these days. He didn’t mind, truthfully. It brought him joy to see the catharsis on people’s faces. Even after all of these years, the scars of the Battle of Carteneau marred the souls of many.

For Joshua, though, the Rising represented a much more personal loss.

Mere moments after Bahamut cracked his long prison, Joshua had found himself on the fields of battle, tired, injured and dirty after his own fight with the second Eikon of Fire at Phoenix Gate. While he had no way of knowing exactly how the dates correlated—he didn’t even know if Hydaelyn and Valisthea had the same number of days in a year!—he privately remembered those lost at Phoenix Gate on the day that Eorzeans remembered those lost at Carteneau.

Thus, after tending to the latest challenges with the Rising memorial, Joshua slipped into the house in Ul’dah where his foster mothers lived. Even now, when he had been away for so long, they kept his room ready for him at any time (“As if I’d have you buying a room at the Quicksand when we have space right here!”). His mementos from his birth family stayed here, safe from the harm the hectic life adventuring inflicted. The bracelets that marked the ducal heir. The earring he had that matched the one Clive had worn. The last letter he had received from Dion Lesage, somehow surviving the fiery damage of that night. The family sword that he should return someday to the ducal vaults.

Along with these, Joshua had his three mourning candles. They weren’t the elaborate things that they would have been back home—he remembered the ones used for the more important rituals among the crypts—but they were all he had.

He carefully sat them on his desk, and waited. The sky outside the window slowly darkened, as the sun fell beyond the horizon. As the very last few rays left the sky, Joshua reached out with a fingertip, lighting each one.

“Father.”

Joshua didn’t think that he would ever forget watching his father’s death. Even now, he could picture it—the way the blood had soaked his tunic, the sight of his head on the ground—and worst of all, knowing it was his fault. Had he been stronger, known how to use his powers properly, surely he could have done as his brother had bade, and kept their father safe…

“Clive.”

Oh, how Joshua missed his brother! He had seen so many things in his travels that he wanted to tell Clive about. If only they had made it to Eorzea together. They could have traveled as their father had with Uncle Byron, two adventuring souls learning every secret this land had to offer.

“Our Shields.”

It felt wrong to use only one candle for all of his father’s men, but he did not know all their names and he didn’t want to forget any of them. It was the Phoenix’s job to remember, to usher them into a new life, rewarded for their past service.

If only Joshua could actually do that. Alas, the best he could do was a poor approximation of the ritual of remembrance.

He bowed his head, linking his hands together. “May the embers keep you warm until the spark of life comes to you again. May your new flames be warm and bright. Your sacrifice will not be forgotten.”