Butterfly Effect: Chapter 23
Jan. 12th, 2007 11:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bard_linnAuthors: Bard Linn and Kiraya
Genre: General/Drama
Pairings: That would be telling!
Rating (Overall): PG-13
Summary: "You could be seeing something that’s not there."
Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII and all associated characters and symbols are the exclusive property of Square Enix and its associates. We’re just borrowing them for a while.
Chapter 23
“Come on, Cloud! You aren’t getting out of it this time!”
“Zack, there is absolutely no reason why we have to go drinking!” Cloud rolled his eyes.
“Oh yes there is.” Zack slung an arm around Cloud’s shoulders. “Last I checked, you haven’t been even once since you’ve been in Midgar — since for some absurd reason you actually obey the stupid drinking age law, unlike ninety percent of young ShinRa employees—”
“Where’d you get that statistic?”
“—and in a few months it’ll be the exams, so you won’t want to go then, but after that you’ll end up getting your enhancements, and then it’ll cost like four times as much to get you even a little drunk.” Zack nodded sagely at his friend. “I’m not saying you have to get totally plastered, but everyone should experience that buzz at least once. I mean, Seph is bad enough as it is; no matter how much you give ‘im, the man doesn’t even get the slightest bit tipsy—”
“Really, that’s not necessary—” Cloud protested.
Zack visibly wilted. “Please, Cloud? Come on, you wouldn’t let me take you out last week for your birthday. It’s only fair! And you’re off duty tomorrow, so you’ll have plenty of time to recover…”
Cloud’s birthday had been on a Sunday this year, and even Zack couldn’t get Sephiroth to cancel his training sessions. This of course had meant Cloud was just about ready to drop dead afterwards, so (luckily, he thought) he’d only had to endure Zack’s crazy birthday plans early in the day. As a consequence, however, Zack had been pestering him about the drinking thing every day since.
“You’re not going to give up on this, are you?” Cloud said finally, more statement than question.
Zack grinned. “Nope!”
His apprentice sighed. “All right, all right. I’ll go — just this once. Let me just get changed first.”
Zack nodded, still grinning. “You do that. And if you aren’t at the gate in fifteen minutes, I’ll come drag you out myself!”
Cloud shook his head and returned to his room, pulling a set of civvies from his footlocker. It wasn’t as easy as it used to be; the locker was stuffed full of birthday presents as well as clothing. Tucked in on the side was a small safety box, containing the gold armlet and Fire materia Vincent had given him last year, the Elemental materia he had found back home, and three more materia he had received from Sephiroth for his eighteenth birthday. They were common ones, nothing more than low-level Ice, Lightning, and Restore, but Cloud treasured them nonetheless. Below that lay the various brain teasers Zack had gotten him over the past two years for every occasion imaginable. The things were surprisingly addicting. His gun was carefully packed away on the other side, safety on and bullets kept in a small case beside it. The rest of the locker was full of spare uniforms and civilian clothing, and the gift his mother and Tifa had bought for him together.
It was a staff, wooden ends capped in metal. It had two unlinked materia slots and actually came apart in the middle; each half screwed into a metal piece about a foot long. It wasn’t the strongest staff in the world, but it was easy to hide and pack for traveling purposes.
Cloud could only guess that his mother had noticed him carrying around his staff at home all the time, and had deduced its purpose. He smiled. No one could call his mom dumb!
The blond hesitated for a moment, considering whether or not he should bring the staff with him. He was going down to the slums, but… he was also going with Zack, so he probably wouldn’t need it. Nobody in their right mind messed with a SOLDIER, on duty or off — plus Cloud was still wearing the pair of knives Scott and Paul had given him. Knives were Paul’s specialty, everything from daggers so long they were nearly swords in their own right to tiny little things that could be hidden anywhere on one’s person. The SOLDIER Third had drilled Cloud relentlessly on their use — not that he minded in the least, of course — before he and Scott presented Cloud with a pair of his own (six inches from pommel to tip and balanced for throwing) as a joint birthday present.
I should be just fine. They were supposed to be going drinking, not fighting, and the staff would stand out terribly — a huge faux pas in Vincent’s book, one that he’d always taught his student to avoid.
Walking swiftly through the halls, Cloud made it to the gate in plenty of time. Zack nodded in greeting and they set off for the train station, the dark-haired man sharing choice bits of humorous stories about his fellow SOLDIERs. He stopped only when the train pulled into the Sector Three station. “And here we are!”
Cloud followed the SOLDIER onto the platform and into the street, past ragged men who leaned against graffiti-covered walls watching them with hard eyes. “Why are we here below the Plate, anyway?” Cloud asked in a low voice. “The restaurants and stuff up there offer good food and drink…”
“True,” Zack acknowledged, “but a lot of it tastes… artificial, y’know? It doesn’t often have the homey, down-to-earth feel of the stuff down here. Besides, all the good booze is here… if you want something other than wine, anyway.” Zack grinned, gesturing towards a ramshackle building lit up by garish neon signs. “Follow me.”
The blond knew better than to criticize Zack’s choice, even if the place looked less structurally sound than the poor shack he and Vincent had built all those years ago. He silently followed Zack inside as they threaded their way through the busy tables towards the bar.
“Ah, Zack!” the bartender said, turning towards him with a smile. “Back again, are you?”
Cloud shook his head disbelievingly. Did they know Zack at every restaurant or bar in Midgar? It sure seemed like it some days…
“Yo, Cole. Looks like business is going pretty well.” Zack grinned at the man, settling onto one of the barstools. “Come on, Cloud. Grab a seat. ” He gestured to the place next to him, then turned to address the bartender again. “Cloud turned eighteen last week, so I figured I better properly introduce him to the finer things in life.”
“Oho!” Cole laughed. “I suppose I should get out the usual, then. Not allergic to anything, are ya, Cloud?”
“Not that I’m aware of,” the blond replied, feeling a bit bemused.
The bartender placed a small glass of amber liquid in front of the SOLDIER cadet. “Enjoy!”
Cloud eyed the glass with suspicion and cautiously took a swallow, only to start coughing as the alcohol burned down his throat. Zack laughed at the look on his face. “You don’t drink that stuff for its taste. You drink it for its effects.” The black-haired man took a swig from his own glass, its contents a darker brown than Cloud’s.
“If you say so,” the blond replied dubiously, trying a smaller sip this time.
“So…” Zack began, turning towards him. “Any family traditions for the big one-eight?”
Cloud shook his head. “Nothing I can think of. I don’t know what Dad might have done…” He paused for a moment. “It’s sort of a tradition back home for guys to get married on their birthday if they’ve been engaged. Girls often marry younger, but that’s because guys are supposed to be the providers and generally it takes a while to set up a stable home.”
“Married?” Zack choked. “You’re joking, right?”
“Nope. Don’t you remember? Tifa told you we tend to marry young.” Cloud shook his head. “Nibelheim’s in the middle of nowhere, Zack.”
“Gongaga isn’t exactly the center of civilization either, you know,” the SOLDIER pointed out.
“But it’s not as cut off,” the blond countered. “Due to heavy snows, we spend at least four months each year essentially trapped in the village and its immediate surroundings. A lot of kids die in the winter, especially; we have no hospital, our clinic is run by the midwife out of her kitchen, and that time of year it’s all but impossible to get the really effective medicines they ship out of Midgar. Most families are lucky if two of their kids reach adulthood.” He took another sip of his drink. “Things have been better with the monsters lately because of ShinRa, but they used to get a lot of people, too. We’ve been lucky enough not to have had any really bad avalanches for a while, though…” He paused. “Actually, we’re probably about due for another one now, though it’s hard to tell just when it’ll be. Building the reactor changed that up a lot, so I hear.” The SOLDIER First stared at him. “Remember that guy at the inn? He turned seventy-two that year, and by all accounts is the oldest man who’s lived in town. Most people are lucky to make sixty.”
A low whistle. “Someone’s either had too much to drink or not nearly enough.”
“That’s only his first glass, Reno,” Zack commented, glancing over his shoulder.
The Turk nodded sagely. “Not enough, then. Better drink faster, kid. You’ll get everyone depressed otherwise.” He dropped into the seat next to Cloud, electro-rod looped around his wrist, and signaled the bartender.
“What are you doing down here anyway, Reno? And in uniform, no less. Don’t tell me you’re drinking on company time,” Zack joked.
Reno shrugged. “I have to hang around here for a while. Waiting for somebody to show up.”
“Tax evasion?” Cloud interjected, playing with his nearly empty glass. The first few sips must have dulled his taste buds, because it didn’t seem so bad anymore.
Reno smiled humorlessly. “Something like that.” Cloud gave the redhead a look; he clearly understood there was more to it, but wasn’t going to press the issue. The Turk merely nodded in acknowledgement. “So, what are you two doing down here, anyway?”
“Introducing Cloud into the wonderful world of alcohol,” Zack replied. “He’s eighteen now — never been before, and I wanted to make sure he got the full experience before his enhancements.”
The Turk shook his head. “‘S the worst thing about you SOLDIERs. Can’t get drunk without buying out the whole damn bar.” Reno grinned at Cloud. “Any other plans now that you’re finally legal?”
“Not really.” The blond finished off his drink, studying his glass thoughtfully. “I still don’t see why you like this stuff so much.”
“That’s ‘cause you haven’t had enough.” Zack motioned for the bartender to bring Cloud another. “So, Reno, what’s up on your side of the business lately?”
The two of them chatted idly for a while, eventually swapping stories of pranks they’d pulled on their coworkers. Cloud mostly stayed quiet, sipping his drinks in silence, though occasionally he offered his opinion on Zack’s stories, particularly when they concerned things he’d had to endure himself. Sometime between his third and fourth of the night, Cloud took to ignoring his drink in favor of trying to keep the world from spinning. It wasn’t the first time he had to deal with something like this; Vincent had forced him fight while dizzy several times before he’d come to Midgar, trying to imitate the effects of certain drugs. Probably a good thing, else I might not even be sitting up straight…
Abruptly the blond stiffened, his hand shooting out to catch Reno’s wrist. Blue eyes blinked at the Turk, their owner less than pleased with the invasion of his personal space.
“Geez, relax, kid.” The redhead managed to remove Cloud’s hand from his wrist, though it wasn’t easy. “Damn. You got the best reflexes I’ve ever seen on somebody under the influence. I don’t suppose I can convince you to join the Turks, huh? We need people with your type of skills, and we take care of our own. You’d make a great partner.”
“Can’t. Already passed over. Failed th’ exams,” Cloud mumbled, body relaxing now that the ‘threat’ had been dealt with.
Reno shook his head. “That’s all right. You could still get sponsored easily enough.” He leaned a little closer. “You’d get promoted pretty quickly, I bet…”
“I can think of several people who would be extremely disappointed in you if you took that path, Cloud,” Zack interjected, glaring warningly at the Turk.
“Yeah.” Cloud half smiled. “Sorry, Reno, but my place is in SOLDIER, if I can get it.” The blond slipped off of his stool, focusing his attention on his feet, which seemed disinclined to cooperate with him.
“Just hold on a sec, Cloud,” Zack told him, paying the bill and following the blond out. “The nerve of that guy…” He stopped, steadying his friend. “You really are a lightweight, aren’t you? You didn’t have that much. ” He smiled a little. “Though your size might have something to do with it…”
“Shaddup,” Cloud grumbled. So what if he was only five-three?
The pair walked slowly back to the station, Zack keeping one eye out for trouble and the other on Cloud, who concentrated on his disobedient feet. Only once they were safely aboard the train heading topside did Cloud speak again. “D’ya really think I’ll make it, Zack?”
The dark-haired man paused in his stretching, turning towards him. “Hm?”
“Into SOLIDER.” Cloud stared out the windows morosely. “It seems impossible some days…”
Zack stared at youth in shock, surprised at the defeat underlying his words. “Cloud, why are you doubting yourself?” He shook his head. “Not only do I think you can do it, I know you’ll excel, especially if you keep working the way you have been. And I’m not the only one. Scott and Paul do too.”
“You’re my friends. You could be seeing something that’s not there.” Cloud averted his eyes.
“Damn.” Zack sighed. “You had to be a gloomy drunk, didn’t you?” He threw his arm around Cloud’s shoulders, trying to cheer up the younger man. “It’s not just our opinion. Just about every SOLDIER who has ever seen you in action and talked to me about it thinks the same thing.” He bit back a laugh. “Even Seph thinks you’ll do well.”
Cloud’s head whipped around, and he stared at his friend disbelievingly. “Sephiroth does?!”
“Of course. He wouldn’t bother to keep working with you if you weren’t worth his time. He has to see something worthwhile in you if he’s going to let you hang around him at all. That’s just how he is,” Zack replied. “So, unless you’re going to doubt the General’s opinion — not a wise decision if you want to live long, by the way — you better get your mind set on getting in. And once you do get in, I’ll get you a present.”
“Zack, you don’t have to—”
“I know. But I want to.” Zack’s grin was huge. “It should look pretty good on you, I think. Now, promise you’ll take it when the time comes so I don’t have to kick your ass.”
“Fine.” Cloud sighed. “Though somehow I got the feeling I’ll end up regretting this…”
Zack looked offended. “No trust. No trust at all.”
Cloud snorted. “Ha! I trust you. It’s just what I trust you to do is the problem.”
“The agony! My soul can’t bear it!” Zack cried, pretending to look hurt. “Whatever did I do to you to deserve this?”
“Remember that birthday party?” Cloud couldn’t quite raise his eyebrows the way Sephiroth did when Zack said something gigantically stupid, but it was a pretty good impression.
“Oh yeah. That.” Zack’s expression grew sheepish. “Maybe you do have a point. But I’m still getting you that present!” Cloud shook his head. How did he end up with friends like these?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Cloud tugged once more on his shirt, trying to smooth out the wrinkles caused by the close crowd on train he’d taken below the Plate. It was never this bad when he went with Zack; most people gave SOLDIERs and those with them a wide birth. On the other hand, young unimpressive men in civilian clothes were more often than not shoved into corners, unless those next to them had an interest in them. But there was no way he was going to bring Zack with him to do this.
The blond shook his head. Get a grip, Cloud. He really shouldn’t be wasting time thinking about crowded trains and the pros of being a SOLDIER at the moment. Why were these doors he had gone through so many times imposing now?
Shaking his head fiercely, Cloud pulled the door open and slipped inside the church. “Aeris?”
“Cloud!” The young woman stood, smiling, momentarily abandoning her work in the church’s garden. “I didn’t expect you today.”
“Well, I got a couple extra hours off.” Cloud smiled back, trying to hide his nervousness.
Aeris brushed the dirt from her dress. “Care to give me a hand?”
“Sure.” Cloud walked over to the flower patch and joined Aeris in weeding the flowers. It seemed like she could get just about anything to grow in this little patch of land. He knew from past experience her hands were far more skilled at this than his, but he still helped as best he could. “How are they doing?” It was a stupid question, but he felt like he had to say something or go mad.
“The flowers?” Aeris asked. “Rather well, I think. This will likely be the second to last batch, though. Winter is coming.”
Cloud nodded. It was already the last week of August. Time had flown so quickly in so many ways. “True. Harder to grow flowers in the cold.”
Aeris nodded. “These kind, at least. There are some that will grow in colder weather, and even snow, but I haven’t managed to get them to survive in Midgar yet. It never gets quite that cold here,” she replied. “Though if you’d like to help me try, I’d appreciate it.”
“I’d like that,” Cloud agreed, though in truth the only real reason he cared about the flowers was that they were important to Aeris. “Actually, um… I was wondering if we could possibly go out to dinner sometime. Just the two of us.” The blond snapped his mouth shut, face reddening. That wasn’t how he’d planned to do that at all. He hoped fervently it didn’t sound as stupid to Aeris as it did to him.
The flower girl looked at him for a long moment, understanding dawning in her green eyes. “…Oh, Cloud.” His heart plummeted, hearing the sadness in her tone of voice. “I’m sorry.” She lightly touched his shoulder, keeping her hand there even when he flinched away. “You’re a very dear friend, and in many ways you’re like a brother to me, but…” She shook her head.
“…There’s someone else.” Maybe it was something in her tone, or in her eyes, but Cloud suddenly knew there was someone standing between them.
“No— well, yes— but that’s not all of it. The… ShinRa has been after me for a long time, and I have to be careful. There is— was…” Aeris sighed. “I was seeing someone for a while, but he’s pretty important to the company, so… we had to break it off,” she explained, and it was clear she truly regretted that. “Cloud… you told me you wanted to be a SOLDIER. Someday soon, you’ll be important to ShinRa too, and the more powerful you become the less often we’ll be able to safely meet. Occasionally is okay, but…” She trailed off.
Cloud wanted to argue, to say that he could protect her, that he would change ShinRa for her sake so she could be safe, but Vincent had trained him to be realistic, and he knew the odds of being able to do so were slim to none. And even then, her heart could never be his. He’d lost this fight before it had begun. “…I understand.” He stood, trying to cover his hurt. “I better go, then.”
Aeris stood as well, watching the young man walk away towards the church’s doors. “Cloud!” she called after him, and he paused. “I still… I hope you can still think of me as your friend. If I can ever help you—”
“I know.” Cloud didn’t turn towards her, afraid he might lose his composure if he did. This was hard enough as it was. “I’ll come back, someday. I promise.”
“All right.” Aeris’s voice was sad. “Be safe, Cloud.”
“You, too.”
And with that he was gone. Aeris knelt, burying her hands in the earth and screaming in her mind, feeling Cloud’s pain like it was her own, knowing how it felt to be rejected. Why? Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you let me prepare for this? If she had known, if she had paid closer attention and realized Cloud had been developing feelings for her, she could have… could have headed it off, done something, at least…!
Yet the Planet offered no reply, the Voices were silent, and all she could think was she had just lost one of her dearest friends to a misunderstanding.
The last Ancient bent her head and wept.
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Genre: General/Drama
Pairings: That would be telling!
Rating (Overall): PG-13
Summary: "You could be seeing something that’s not there."
Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII and all associated characters and symbols are the exclusive property of Square Enix and its associates. We’re just borrowing them for a while.
Chapter 23
“Come on, Cloud! You aren’t getting out of it this time!”
“Zack, there is absolutely no reason why we have to go drinking!” Cloud rolled his eyes.
“Oh yes there is.” Zack slung an arm around Cloud’s shoulders. “Last I checked, you haven’t been even once since you’ve been in Midgar — since for some absurd reason you actually obey the stupid drinking age law, unlike ninety percent of young ShinRa employees—”
“Where’d you get that statistic?”
“—and in a few months it’ll be the exams, so you won’t want to go then, but after that you’ll end up getting your enhancements, and then it’ll cost like four times as much to get you even a little drunk.” Zack nodded sagely at his friend. “I’m not saying you have to get totally plastered, but everyone should experience that buzz at least once. I mean, Seph is bad enough as it is; no matter how much you give ‘im, the man doesn’t even get the slightest bit tipsy—”
“Really, that’s not necessary—” Cloud protested.
Zack visibly wilted. “Please, Cloud? Come on, you wouldn’t let me take you out last week for your birthday. It’s only fair! And you’re off duty tomorrow, so you’ll have plenty of time to recover…”
Cloud’s birthday had been on a Sunday this year, and even Zack couldn’t get Sephiroth to cancel his training sessions. This of course had meant Cloud was just about ready to drop dead afterwards, so (luckily, he thought) he’d only had to endure Zack’s crazy birthday plans early in the day. As a consequence, however, Zack had been pestering him about the drinking thing every day since.
“You’re not going to give up on this, are you?” Cloud said finally, more statement than question.
Zack grinned. “Nope!”
His apprentice sighed. “All right, all right. I’ll go — just this once. Let me just get changed first.”
Zack nodded, still grinning. “You do that. And if you aren’t at the gate in fifteen minutes, I’ll come drag you out myself!”
Cloud shook his head and returned to his room, pulling a set of civvies from his footlocker. It wasn’t as easy as it used to be; the locker was stuffed full of birthday presents as well as clothing. Tucked in on the side was a small safety box, containing the gold armlet and Fire materia Vincent had given him last year, the Elemental materia he had found back home, and three more materia he had received from Sephiroth for his eighteenth birthday. They were common ones, nothing more than low-level Ice, Lightning, and Restore, but Cloud treasured them nonetheless. Below that lay the various brain teasers Zack had gotten him over the past two years for every occasion imaginable. The things were surprisingly addicting. His gun was carefully packed away on the other side, safety on and bullets kept in a small case beside it. The rest of the locker was full of spare uniforms and civilian clothing, and the gift his mother and Tifa had bought for him together.
It was a staff, wooden ends capped in metal. It had two unlinked materia slots and actually came apart in the middle; each half screwed into a metal piece about a foot long. It wasn’t the strongest staff in the world, but it was easy to hide and pack for traveling purposes.
Cloud could only guess that his mother had noticed him carrying around his staff at home all the time, and had deduced its purpose. He smiled. No one could call his mom dumb!
The blond hesitated for a moment, considering whether or not he should bring the staff with him. He was going down to the slums, but… he was also going with Zack, so he probably wouldn’t need it. Nobody in their right mind messed with a SOLDIER, on duty or off — plus Cloud was still wearing the pair of knives Scott and Paul had given him. Knives were Paul’s specialty, everything from daggers so long they were nearly swords in their own right to tiny little things that could be hidden anywhere on one’s person. The SOLDIER Third had drilled Cloud relentlessly on their use — not that he minded in the least, of course — before he and Scott presented Cloud with a pair of his own (six inches from pommel to tip and balanced for throwing) as a joint birthday present.
I should be just fine. They were supposed to be going drinking, not fighting, and the staff would stand out terribly — a huge faux pas in Vincent’s book, one that he’d always taught his student to avoid.
Walking swiftly through the halls, Cloud made it to the gate in plenty of time. Zack nodded in greeting and they set off for the train station, the dark-haired man sharing choice bits of humorous stories about his fellow SOLDIERs. He stopped only when the train pulled into the Sector Three station. “And here we are!”
Cloud followed the SOLDIER onto the platform and into the street, past ragged men who leaned against graffiti-covered walls watching them with hard eyes. “Why are we here below the Plate, anyway?” Cloud asked in a low voice. “The restaurants and stuff up there offer good food and drink…”
“True,” Zack acknowledged, “but a lot of it tastes… artificial, y’know? It doesn’t often have the homey, down-to-earth feel of the stuff down here. Besides, all the good booze is here… if you want something other than wine, anyway.” Zack grinned, gesturing towards a ramshackle building lit up by garish neon signs. “Follow me.”
The blond knew better than to criticize Zack’s choice, even if the place looked less structurally sound than the poor shack he and Vincent had built all those years ago. He silently followed Zack inside as they threaded their way through the busy tables towards the bar.
“Ah, Zack!” the bartender said, turning towards him with a smile. “Back again, are you?”
Cloud shook his head disbelievingly. Did they know Zack at every restaurant or bar in Midgar? It sure seemed like it some days…
“Yo, Cole. Looks like business is going pretty well.” Zack grinned at the man, settling onto one of the barstools. “Come on, Cloud. Grab a seat. ” He gestured to the place next to him, then turned to address the bartender again. “Cloud turned eighteen last week, so I figured I better properly introduce him to the finer things in life.”
“Oho!” Cole laughed. “I suppose I should get out the usual, then. Not allergic to anything, are ya, Cloud?”
“Not that I’m aware of,” the blond replied, feeling a bit bemused.
The bartender placed a small glass of amber liquid in front of the SOLDIER cadet. “Enjoy!”
Cloud eyed the glass with suspicion and cautiously took a swallow, only to start coughing as the alcohol burned down his throat. Zack laughed at the look on his face. “You don’t drink that stuff for its taste. You drink it for its effects.” The black-haired man took a swig from his own glass, its contents a darker brown than Cloud’s.
“If you say so,” the blond replied dubiously, trying a smaller sip this time.
“So…” Zack began, turning towards him. “Any family traditions for the big one-eight?”
Cloud shook his head. “Nothing I can think of. I don’t know what Dad might have done…” He paused for a moment. “It’s sort of a tradition back home for guys to get married on their birthday if they’ve been engaged. Girls often marry younger, but that’s because guys are supposed to be the providers and generally it takes a while to set up a stable home.”
“Married?” Zack choked. “You’re joking, right?”
“Nope. Don’t you remember? Tifa told you we tend to marry young.” Cloud shook his head. “Nibelheim’s in the middle of nowhere, Zack.”
“Gongaga isn’t exactly the center of civilization either, you know,” the SOLDIER pointed out.
“But it’s not as cut off,” the blond countered. “Due to heavy snows, we spend at least four months each year essentially trapped in the village and its immediate surroundings. A lot of kids die in the winter, especially; we have no hospital, our clinic is run by the midwife out of her kitchen, and that time of year it’s all but impossible to get the really effective medicines they ship out of Midgar. Most families are lucky if two of their kids reach adulthood.” He took another sip of his drink. “Things have been better with the monsters lately because of ShinRa, but they used to get a lot of people, too. We’ve been lucky enough not to have had any really bad avalanches for a while, though…” He paused. “Actually, we’re probably about due for another one now, though it’s hard to tell just when it’ll be. Building the reactor changed that up a lot, so I hear.” The SOLDIER First stared at him. “Remember that guy at the inn? He turned seventy-two that year, and by all accounts is the oldest man who’s lived in town. Most people are lucky to make sixty.”
A low whistle. “Someone’s either had too much to drink or not nearly enough.”
“That’s only his first glass, Reno,” Zack commented, glancing over his shoulder.
The Turk nodded sagely. “Not enough, then. Better drink faster, kid. You’ll get everyone depressed otherwise.” He dropped into the seat next to Cloud, electro-rod looped around his wrist, and signaled the bartender.
“What are you doing down here anyway, Reno? And in uniform, no less. Don’t tell me you’re drinking on company time,” Zack joked.
Reno shrugged. “I have to hang around here for a while. Waiting for somebody to show up.”
“Tax evasion?” Cloud interjected, playing with his nearly empty glass. The first few sips must have dulled his taste buds, because it didn’t seem so bad anymore.
Reno smiled humorlessly. “Something like that.” Cloud gave the redhead a look; he clearly understood there was more to it, but wasn’t going to press the issue. The Turk merely nodded in acknowledgement. “So, what are you two doing down here, anyway?”
“Introducing Cloud into the wonderful world of alcohol,” Zack replied. “He’s eighteen now — never been before, and I wanted to make sure he got the full experience before his enhancements.”
The Turk shook his head. “‘S the worst thing about you SOLDIERs. Can’t get drunk without buying out the whole damn bar.” Reno grinned at Cloud. “Any other plans now that you’re finally legal?”
“Not really.” The blond finished off his drink, studying his glass thoughtfully. “I still don’t see why you like this stuff so much.”
“That’s ‘cause you haven’t had enough.” Zack motioned for the bartender to bring Cloud another. “So, Reno, what’s up on your side of the business lately?”
The two of them chatted idly for a while, eventually swapping stories of pranks they’d pulled on their coworkers. Cloud mostly stayed quiet, sipping his drinks in silence, though occasionally he offered his opinion on Zack’s stories, particularly when they concerned things he’d had to endure himself. Sometime between his third and fourth of the night, Cloud took to ignoring his drink in favor of trying to keep the world from spinning. It wasn’t the first time he had to deal with something like this; Vincent had forced him fight while dizzy several times before he’d come to Midgar, trying to imitate the effects of certain drugs. Probably a good thing, else I might not even be sitting up straight…
Abruptly the blond stiffened, his hand shooting out to catch Reno’s wrist. Blue eyes blinked at the Turk, their owner less than pleased with the invasion of his personal space.
“Geez, relax, kid.” The redhead managed to remove Cloud’s hand from his wrist, though it wasn’t easy. “Damn. You got the best reflexes I’ve ever seen on somebody under the influence. I don’t suppose I can convince you to join the Turks, huh? We need people with your type of skills, and we take care of our own. You’d make a great partner.”
“Can’t. Already passed over. Failed th’ exams,” Cloud mumbled, body relaxing now that the ‘threat’ had been dealt with.
Reno shook his head. “That’s all right. You could still get sponsored easily enough.” He leaned a little closer. “You’d get promoted pretty quickly, I bet…”
“I can think of several people who would be extremely disappointed in you if you took that path, Cloud,” Zack interjected, glaring warningly at the Turk.
“Yeah.” Cloud half smiled. “Sorry, Reno, but my place is in SOLDIER, if I can get it.” The blond slipped off of his stool, focusing his attention on his feet, which seemed disinclined to cooperate with him.
“Just hold on a sec, Cloud,” Zack told him, paying the bill and following the blond out. “The nerve of that guy…” He stopped, steadying his friend. “You really are a lightweight, aren’t you? You didn’t have that much. ” He smiled a little. “Though your size might have something to do with it…”
“Shaddup,” Cloud grumbled. So what if he was only five-three?
The pair walked slowly back to the station, Zack keeping one eye out for trouble and the other on Cloud, who concentrated on his disobedient feet. Only once they were safely aboard the train heading topside did Cloud speak again. “D’ya really think I’ll make it, Zack?”
The dark-haired man paused in his stretching, turning towards him. “Hm?”
“Into SOLIDER.” Cloud stared out the windows morosely. “It seems impossible some days…”
Zack stared at youth in shock, surprised at the defeat underlying his words. “Cloud, why are you doubting yourself?” He shook his head. “Not only do I think you can do it, I know you’ll excel, especially if you keep working the way you have been. And I’m not the only one. Scott and Paul do too.”
“You’re my friends. You could be seeing something that’s not there.” Cloud averted his eyes.
“Damn.” Zack sighed. “You had to be a gloomy drunk, didn’t you?” He threw his arm around Cloud’s shoulders, trying to cheer up the younger man. “It’s not just our opinion. Just about every SOLDIER who has ever seen you in action and talked to me about it thinks the same thing.” He bit back a laugh. “Even Seph thinks you’ll do well.”
Cloud’s head whipped around, and he stared at his friend disbelievingly. “Sephiroth does?!”
“Of course. He wouldn’t bother to keep working with you if you weren’t worth his time. He has to see something worthwhile in you if he’s going to let you hang around him at all. That’s just how he is,” Zack replied. “So, unless you’re going to doubt the General’s opinion — not a wise decision if you want to live long, by the way — you better get your mind set on getting in. And once you do get in, I’ll get you a present.”
“Zack, you don’t have to—”
“I know. But I want to.” Zack’s grin was huge. “It should look pretty good on you, I think. Now, promise you’ll take it when the time comes so I don’t have to kick your ass.”
“Fine.” Cloud sighed. “Though somehow I got the feeling I’ll end up regretting this…”
Zack looked offended. “No trust. No trust at all.”
Cloud snorted. “Ha! I trust you. It’s just what I trust you to do is the problem.”
“The agony! My soul can’t bear it!” Zack cried, pretending to look hurt. “Whatever did I do to you to deserve this?”
“Remember that birthday party?” Cloud couldn’t quite raise his eyebrows the way Sephiroth did when Zack said something gigantically stupid, but it was a pretty good impression.
“Oh yeah. That.” Zack’s expression grew sheepish. “Maybe you do have a point. But I’m still getting you that present!” Cloud shook his head. How did he end up with friends like these?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Cloud tugged once more on his shirt, trying to smooth out the wrinkles caused by the close crowd on train he’d taken below the Plate. It was never this bad when he went with Zack; most people gave SOLDIERs and those with them a wide birth. On the other hand, young unimpressive men in civilian clothes were more often than not shoved into corners, unless those next to them had an interest in them. But there was no way he was going to bring Zack with him to do this.
The blond shook his head. Get a grip, Cloud. He really shouldn’t be wasting time thinking about crowded trains and the pros of being a SOLDIER at the moment. Why were these doors he had gone through so many times imposing now?
Shaking his head fiercely, Cloud pulled the door open and slipped inside the church. “Aeris?”
“Cloud!” The young woman stood, smiling, momentarily abandoning her work in the church’s garden. “I didn’t expect you today.”
“Well, I got a couple extra hours off.” Cloud smiled back, trying to hide his nervousness.
Aeris brushed the dirt from her dress. “Care to give me a hand?”
“Sure.” Cloud walked over to the flower patch and joined Aeris in weeding the flowers. It seemed like she could get just about anything to grow in this little patch of land. He knew from past experience her hands were far more skilled at this than his, but he still helped as best he could. “How are they doing?” It was a stupid question, but he felt like he had to say something or go mad.
“The flowers?” Aeris asked. “Rather well, I think. This will likely be the second to last batch, though. Winter is coming.”
Cloud nodded. It was already the last week of August. Time had flown so quickly in so many ways. “True. Harder to grow flowers in the cold.”
Aeris nodded. “These kind, at least. There are some that will grow in colder weather, and even snow, but I haven’t managed to get them to survive in Midgar yet. It never gets quite that cold here,” she replied. “Though if you’d like to help me try, I’d appreciate it.”
“I’d like that,” Cloud agreed, though in truth the only real reason he cared about the flowers was that they were important to Aeris. “Actually, um… I was wondering if we could possibly go out to dinner sometime. Just the two of us.” The blond snapped his mouth shut, face reddening. That wasn’t how he’d planned to do that at all. He hoped fervently it didn’t sound as stupid to Aeris as it did to him.
The flower girl looked at him for a long moment, understanding dawning in her green eyes. “…Oh, Cloud.” His heart plummeted, hearing the sadness in her tone of voice. “I’m sorry.” She lightly touched his shoulder, keeping her hand there even when he flinched away. “You’re a very dear friend, and in many ways you’re like a brother to me, but…” She shook her head.
“…There’s someone else.” Maybe it was something in her tone, or in her eyes, but Cloud suddenly knew there was someone standing between them.
“No— well, yes— but that’s not all of it. The… ShinRa has been after me for a long time, and I have to be careful. There is— was…” Aeris sighed. “I was seeing someone for a while, but he’s pretty important to the company, so… we had to break it off,” she explained, and it was clear she truly regretted that. “Cloud… you told me you wanted to be a SOLDIER. Someday soon, you’ll be important to ShinRa too, and the more powerful you become the less often we’ll be able to safely meet. Occasionally is okay, but…” She trailed off.
Cloud wanted to argue, to say that he could protect her, that he would change ShinRa for her sake so she could be safe, but Vincent had trained him to be realistic, and he knew the odds of being able to do so were slim to none. And even then, her heart could never be his. He’d lost this fight before it had begun. “…I understand.” He stood, trying to cover his hurt. “I better go, then.”
Aeris stood as well, watching the young man walk away towards the church’s doors. “Cloud!” she called after him, and he paused. “I still… I hope you can still think of me as your friend. If I can ever help you—”
“I know.” Cloud didn’t turn towards her, afraid he might lose his composure if he did. This was hard enough as it was. “I’ll come back, someday. I promise.”
“All right.” Aeris’s voice was sad. “Be safe, Cloud.”
“You, too.”
And with that he was gone. Aeris knelt, burying her hands in the earth and screaming in her mind, feeling Cloud’s pain like it was her own, knowing how it felt to be rejected. Why? Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you let me prepare for this? If she had known, if she had paid closer attention and realized Cloud had been developing feelings for her, she could have… could have headed it off, done something, at least…!
Yet the Planet offered no reply, the Voices were silent, and all she could think was she had just lost one of her dearest friends to a misunderstanding.
The last Ancient bent her head and wept.
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