Butterfly Effect: Chapter 9
Apr. 7th, 2006 07:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bard_linnAuthors: Bard Linn and Kiraya
Genre: General/Drama
Pairings: ZackxAreis
Rating (Overall): PG-13
Summary: Curious, the SOLDIER altered his course and made his way over toward the slight figure, who looked just as depressed as he did.
Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII and all associated characters and symbols are the exclusive property of Square Enix and its associates. We’re just borrowing them for a while.
Chapter 9
21 April 467.
Dear Mom,
How are you? I know it’s been a while since I’ve written, but things have been very busy around here. We’ve been training especially hard for the exams; just finished taking them, actually, and it’s been exhausting. They started three weeks ago by testing our Mako tolerance, which thinned out the ranks pretty quickly over the course of the next few days; if you don’t pass that, they kick you out immediately. Even those of us who passed were pretty out of it for a while after that, though. They followed up with mental exams, which I think I did pretty well on — there were a lot of questions on procedure, easy stuff. Last but not least, we had physical exams. We’ve just come back today from the last of them — our first field assignment. They took us east to camp near the Chocobo Ranch for a few days, just some monster hunting and stuff. Actually, it was pretty boring until somebody’s group wandered too far off and got lost, and the Midgar Zolom almost got them. It was a good thing we had some SOLDIER Firsts with us to help drive it off; that thing was a nasty piece of work, even worse than some of the dragons that live up in the mountains around home.
“Yo, Cloud.”
The blond looked up as Paul stepped out of the bathroom, toweling his hair. “There’s a free shower now, if you want it.”
“Thanks. I’ll just be a minute, then.”
“Sure.” The older cadet yawned hugely. “I think I’m going to try to get some shuteye — you should, too, once you finish that. The past few weeks have been pretty crazy, so it’ll be a nice change to get some sleep without having to worry about exams in the morning, right?”
“Too true.” Cloud smiled a little before returning to his writing. “G’night.”
“Night.”
So now that the exams are over, all we have to do is wait. They tell us it should be a week at most before our results are posted. To tell the truth, I’m almost more nervous about this than I was about the exams themselves! Anyway, I’ll write you again once I have my results… and the first time I have leave, I’ll come home for a visit. Until then, take care of yourself, Mom. I miss you.
Love,
Cloud
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
1 May 467.
Dear Mom
Cloud stared unseeing at the beginnings of the letter before him, swallowing hard past the lump in his throat. Frustrated, he crumpled the paper into a ball and hurled it violently across the room to join the others in the wastebasket.
He couldn’t believe this had happened.
Drawing his knees to his chest and resting his chin on them, he stared miserably at the floor. He still couldn’t write that letter, even three days after all of his dreams and careful plans had come crashing down like an avalanche in spring.
He had never even considered the possibility of…
The bitter taste remained in his mouth even after he viciously cut off the thought… but there really was no denying it. He had come back to the postings dozens of times in his aimless wandering of the corridors, but as much as he stared with desperate eyes, his name never appeared on the list of accepted cadets.
He’d failed to make it into SOLDIER.
What was he supposed to tell his mother, who’d scrimped and saved for years in order to send him here to fulfill his dream? What was he supposed to tell Vincent?
Vincent…
Cloud’s heart grew heavier as he thought of his friend and teacher all alone in the mountains, not having heard from him in over a year. He suddenly wanted nothing more than to go back to that tiny shack and bury his face in his mentor’s cloak, like he had when he was little, and just forget — forget Midgar, forget ShinRa, forget SOLDIER and even his idol, Sephiroth.
But what would Vincent say? Cloud knew his mentor had never really approved of his desire to join SOLDIER, but he would never come right out and say as much. No, he’d be a silent, comforting presence until his student had calmed down… and then the former Turk would chide him for not being prepared for all possible outcomes.
Cloud snorted. As if he hadn’t already kicked himself enough for that one.
Blinking back unshed tears, he considered his options. Going home now, at least, was totally out of the question. Even if he weren’t worried about the reactions of his loved ones, the Midgar-Nibelheim journey was expensive; his meager savings would just barely cover the cost of the train to Junon. He’d have to find a job here in Midgar and work until he made enough to cover the expense… but who would hire a failed SOLDIER cadet with a smattering of Turk training?
…Actually, he thought ruefully, that was a ridiculously easy question to answer.
ShinRa’s regular army was always looking for a few good men — or at least anyone who could follow orders and differentiate between the two ends of a standard-issue rifle. Cloud could recall one of the other members of his squad once mentioning that they often took any failed cadets who had nowhere else to go. And from what he’d heard, the army paid pretty well, too — far better than the pittance SOLDIER cadets received for spending money. After about a year or so, he’d have plenty of money for the trip back home, and enough left over to help support his mother for a while, too.
Taking a deep breath and wiping at his eyes with one sleeve, Cloud rose to his feet and began packing. He might have failed the exams, but now that he knew what he was doing with himself, he didn’t feel quite so lost anymore.
As long as he didn’t think too much about it, everything would be fine.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“It really is for the best, Aeris.”
“But I love him, and you know that!”
“He’s a ShinRa employee, dear… and you know they’ve wanted you for years. What will you do if they order him to come after you?”
“Zack would never turn me in — and if it came down to it, he’d probably—”
Elmyra shook her head. “Aeris, I’m tired of having to worry about you every time you leave the house. It’s just gotten worse since you began seeing that boy; as if things weren’t bad enough with Tseng, now a SOLDIER? President Shinra himself might as well be breathing down the backs of our necks right now! If you break things off with him and stay low for a while—”
She snorted. “What, you think then things will actually—”
“Aeris Gainsborough!”
The young woman glared at her, green eyes very nearly glowing with anger.
Elmyra Gainsborough swallowed hard. Though the girl she’d taken in as her daughter wasn’t physically intimidating in the least, she was still quite a force to be reckoned with when she got this riled up, carrying herself as if the very wrath of Gaea Herself supported her, the air around her alive with tension. “I didn’t want to do this to you, but so help me, I will not let them take you from me like they took Peter.” Trying to keep her voice firm, she continued, “As long as you live in this house, you are not to see that young man again. Do I make myself clear?”
“I won’t let—” She stopped mid-sentence, her eyes going distant, and her mother sighed. Aeris had been doing this for years, ever since Elmyra had found her at the train station in Sector Seven. “Talking to the Planet,” she called it. Elmyra had been concerned at first, fearing the girl had some mental illness, but they really couldn’t afford a psychiatrist, and since Aeris had been a perfectly normal and happy child otherwise, she’d soon stopped worrying so much about it.
Then she’d learned the truth, and ShinRa had become involved… and she’d had far more important things to worry about.
After several minutes Aeris blinked rapidly, then let out a heavy sigh, clearly upset. For a long time she would not meet her mother’s gaze, just stared hard at her white-knuckled fist on the table, struggling to compose herself; when she finally spoke, her voice was low and tight with emotion. “Please… may I see him just one last time? I don’t want him to think… I don’t want to just disappear.”
Elmyra hesitated for a long moment, then nodded slowly. If she couldn’t keep her daughter both safe and happy, she could at least give her this much.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“Hey there.”
Aeris looked up to see her boyfriend standing there at the foot of the garden, and froze. Zack was dressed in his usual casual wear, hands in his pockets, dark hair as unruly as always. He had that easy grin on his face that never failed to elicit an answering smile from her… but now it just made her want to cry.
His grin faded as he took a few steps forward, and his indigo eyes shone with concern. “Are you okay?”
Aeris shook her head miserably as she threw herself into his arms, blinking her tears away. She would not cry, not with her mother standing there in the doorway of the house, watching.
Zack held her for a long time, stroking her hair as she clung to him. “What’s the matter?” he asked softly.
Stepping back a little, Aeris took a deep breath and told him.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Looking at them, Elmyra knew it had been a mistake to let things go on this long.
They had grown too attached to each other. It was obvious in Aeris’ earnest face as she looked up at him, in the way she stood so comfortably in his arms, in the way she touched him to ground herself as she explained. It was obvious in Zack’s downcast eyes, in the way he held her gently but tightly, firmly in control of a strength that could easily kill her, in the way he rubbed her back for reassurance.
Aeris ended with a question, her eyes desperate; Zack nodded slowly in answer, and they shared a long, tight embrace. He kissed her tenderly, and with a lingering touch they parted.
The young SOLDIER’s gaze rose to meet hers as he passed, and Elmyra was chilled by the hurt in his eyes… even as she was warmed by the tiny spark of hope in their depths. Maybe someday…
Aeris stood in the garden alone for a long, long time.
“I’m sorry,” Elmyra said softly when her daughter finally came into the house.
The young woman paused on the stairs, one hand on the banister, not quite able to look at her. “…I know.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Sephiroth may not have been much of a people person, but after all the time he’d spent with Zack in the past several years, he had picked up enough of the younger SOLDIER’s mannerisms to be able to read him at least a little.
And now the General found it pretty obvious that there was something wrong.
Since shortly after the exams, Zack’s cheerful disposition had taken on a decidedly artificial feel. He was unusually quiet and subdued, and the quality of his work had definitely decreased over the past few days. Sephiroth was becoming more than a little concerned about the whole thing… and he didn’t like the feeling in the least.
The seventh of May began rather inauspiciously in the office of the General of SOLDIER. He kept a close eye on Zack, frowning at all his uncharacteristic behaviors: much shuffling of papers instead of actual work, a great deal of rather gloomy staring off into space, and none of the usual incessant humming along with the radio that played quietly in the background. (That had been Zack’s idea, of course; “never could stand working in silence,” he’d explained on the first day he’d brought the thing in. It had been bothersome at first… but, like most of his aide’s quirks, Sephiroth had become used to it.)
The commercial break ended, and the deejay introduced a Solese love song that was currently very popular among the young soldiers. Zack was quite fond of it himself, and would often walk down the hall singing snatches of it… which was why the General was so taken aback when his aide suddenly lunged from his seat to turn the radio off.
Sephiroth’s frown deepened. “I thought you loved that song,” he commented, trying to sound casual.
“Getting damn sick of hearing it all the time,” Zack grumbled, leaning forward with his head in his hands.
The General resisted the urge to sigh in frustration. This was getting ridiculous; if Zack didn’t pull out of this funk soon, it was going to drive him utterly insane. One way or another, he was going to get to the bottom of this. Clearing his throat, he said coolly, “Sergeant Major, your attitude lately has been less than satisfactory. I expect you have an explanation for this?”
“…I’m really not in the mood for the total professionalism bullshit, Seph, so stuff it.”
“Fine, then. Tell me what’s wrong, Zachary,” he ordered in a voice that was only slightly more appropriate for a civilian inquiring as to the condition of a friend.
“Don’t call me Zachary,” came the automatic response.
Sephiroth waited.
After several minutes his aide sighed heavily. “You remember that girl I’ve told you about?”
“Which one?”
“The One. You know, the one girl I’ve ever been really serious about? The one I’ve been seeing for about a year now?”
“Ahh, the flower girl from the slums?”
“Yeah.” Zack slumped forward even more, folding his arms and resting his head on them, not caring about the papers on his desk. “She told me we had to break it off.”
The General’s response was mildly curious. “Why?”
“Apparently the company’s got it in for her somehow,” he explained, his voice bitter. “She wasn’t exactly clear on why, though… only that it isn’t really safe for us to continue seeing each other.”
Sephiroth rose and came around his desk to stand a short distance from the dark-haired man. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly, even though the words felt woefully inadequate.
Another sigh. “So am I.”
The silver-haired General hesitated a moment before reaching out a little to lay a gloved hand on Zack’s shoulder, giving what he hoped was a comforting squeeze.
Strong fingers covered his own, and the younger SOLDIER turned his head a little to look up at him.
The expression on his face, sad and weary but grateful, made Sephiroth’s heart feel lighter than it had in nearly a week, and so he did something he’d rarely been comfortable with before:
He smiled, just a little.
Zack’s eyes widened in surprise at this uncharacteristic display. “Seph, are you—”
“Take the rest of the day off, Zack. Sort through this if you need to.”
“But…” Zack trailed off, realizing he really wasn’t getting anything done. “All right, I’ll go.” Sephiroth nodded as his aide gathered his things, casting one last look over his shoulder as he left the office. Hopefully Zack would be able to lay his own problems to rest, and return in better condition. For now, though, he’d best get started, see if he couldn’t put a dent in the work that had built up over the past few days… for both of them.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Zack was more than a little ashamed of himself. He had never been one to allow his emotional disposition to negatively affect his work. If things had gotten so bad that Sephiroth, of all people, noticed…
He sighed.
In some ways he was so conflicted he didn’t know what to think. He truly cared for Aeris, deeply enough that he might even have married her if he’d gotten the chance. Part of him was utterly devastated at the breakup; part of him was angry she hadn’t even given him the chance to make a decision. The raven-haired man had more than once toyed with the idea of leaving ShinRa, marrying Aeris, and taking her far from Midgar. He had known the Turks were interested in her at one point, though his presence had seemed to keep them at bay.
Strange that Aeris seemed to think being with him would cause even more difficulties… or, perhaps more likely, he thought with a scowl, her mother thought his presence would act as a catalyst for further difficulties.
There was only one problem with leaving ShinRa for Aeris, and it could be summed up in a single word: Sephiroth. Zack couldn’t allow his friend to be left alone in this. Such a thing would undoubtedly result in the General backsliding into the cold, isolated individual he had been before his aide had started his ‘work.’ Far too much lay between them for Zack to simply abandon the man, and Sephiroth was the last employee the company would ever let go.
Zack sighed again as he meandered through the halls. In some ways he needed to be alone, but at the same time, he didn’t want solitude. He would have liked to find someone to talk to, but… the only person who even knew he was seeing Aeris was Sephiroth, who had always held a rather fatalistic view of long-term relationships. Not really the best man to go to for advice.
Even as lost in his thoughts as he was, Zack easily spotted bright sunshine hair in the shadows. Curious, the SOLDIER altered his course and made his way over toward the slight figure, who looked just as depressed as he did.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Cloud had been enjoying his time off. Regular troopers had more time on duty than SOLDIER candidates, but they also didn’t have to attend nearly as many instructional periods. They were required to clock in so many hours at the gym, but that was hardly a problem for Cloud, especially since was used to doing far beyond the minimum. Even though he was no longer a SOLDIER cadet, he didn’t want to get out of shape. If he did, Vincent would wipe the floor with him… not that the ex-Turk couldn’t wipe the floor with him already, but it would be a lot easier.
Unfortunately, the blond had just had an encounter which had destroyed his reasonably content mood. Scott and Paul had seen him and stopped to chat. Neither of the new SOLDIERs had apparently undergone any Mako treatments yet, as their eyes lacked that distinctive glow. The pair had tried to encourage him to apply again, reminding him that most people, themselves included, didn’t make it in on their first try. They hadn’t stayed long, thank goodness, but their words had left him feeling terribly unbalanced. The money he was currently saving would cover the cost to re-enter the SOLDIER program (which was actually rather high; Cloud didn’t know how his mother had managed it). The blond knew he could work on further developing his skills while he saved up the necessary money, and no longer being a first-time cadet, he wouldn’t have to worry about the Turks, either, meaning he could perform at his absolute best.
On the other hand, he didn’t know if he could handle possibly failing again.
Cloud was startled out of his thoughts by a soft voice. “Hey.” Looking up, he was greeted by Zachary Sinclair’s familiar form. He was surprised by the telltale signs of sadness: slumped shoulders, forced smile, eyes just a touch too bright. None of them looked right on the usually cheerful SOLDIER. “How are you doing?” Cloud looked away. “It’s not a shame to not make it, you know.”
“Says the man who made it to Second Class on his first try,” Cloud snapped, and then colored. “I’m sorry, sir. That was uncalled for.”
“Well, you’re right that I don’t know how you’re feeling…” Zack turned so he was leaning on the wall next to Cloud. “I’m surprised you found that out, though. It’s no real secret or anything, but the records aren’t open for just anyone’s eyes.”
Cloud shrugged. “Considering your age, sir, it’s pretty obvious. If you’re already First Class you’d have to be very good, even if you did join during the war.”
Zack was rather impressed. Most people wouldn’t have made that deduction. “Still, kid… it isn’t a shame, really. You have talent. I know, I’ve seen it. You just need a bit more time to develop it, that’s all.” Not to mention some social know-how. Zack had seen Cloud’s results — he had to file the damn things, after all — and the reports from the blond’s commanders had constantly noted how the teen didn’t work very well with his comrades. Since Cloud didn’t have any extraordinary abilities, and his Mako receptiveness was slightly below average, there was no way he would get into SOLDIER without excellent cooperation skills.
“I guess…”
“Hey, you haven’t gone home yet. That must mean something, at least.”
Cloud didn’t bother to tell him the only reason he was still here was that he didn’t have the money to go home. Silence fell between them for a long while. Finally, the blond spoke up. “…What’s bothering you, sir?”
Zack flinched a little, upset that his distress was still showing. “Bad breakup, that’s all. I’ll get over it.”
Cloud gave the SOLDIER a long look, wondering if he should offer the advice on his mind. He might as well; it wasn’t like Zack would bite his head off for it. “If I may… I find working on a project can help, sir. I mean, keeping yourself busy to help keep your mind off that sort of thing.” Not that he’d had a breakup himself, yet, but it had helped him when he was feeling emotionally unstable, anyway.
“Hm…” Zack thought about it. He hadn’t managed to get his mind on his work yet, but if he wanted to work through this, he did need to distance himself from his emotions for a bit. Maybe he did need a “personal project,” something just for himself, just for fun. But what? Nothing came readily to mind… and if he just worked by himself, he would only become more miserable. He needed an activity that would involve someone else…
The man’s eyes brightened as the perfect idea dropped into his head. “Hey, Cloud… How about I give you a little personal training?”
Cloud’s jaw dropped, and his eyebrows flew up to his hairline. “You? Teach me? Uh, sir?”
“Why not? ‘S not like there’re rules against it or anything.” Zack grinned. He could whip this kid into shape in no time! And it was just the sort of thing that could help get his mind off Aeris.
Cloud looked him for a long time, then slowly nodded. “All right. I accept your offer, sir.”
“Then let the lessons begin! To the gym, soldier. I want to see what you can do!”
Previous Chapter | Archive | Author's Notes and Outtakes | Next Chapter
Read Comments | Leave a Comment
Genre: General/Drama
Pairings: ZackxAreis
Rating (Overall): PG-13
Summary: Curious, the SOLDIER altered his course and made his way over toward the slight figure, who looked just as depressed as he did.
Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII and all associated characters and symbols are the exclusive property of Square Enix and its associates. We’re just borrowing them for a while.
Chapter 9
21 April 467.
Dear Mom,
How are you? I know it’s been a while since I’ve written, but things have been very busy around here. We’ve been training especially hard for the exams; just finished taking them, actually, and it’s been exhausting. They started three weeks ago by testing our Mako tolerance, which thinned out the ranks pretty quickly over the course of the next few days; if you don’t pass that, they kick you out immediately. Even those of us who passed were pretty out of it for a while after that, though. They followed up with mental exams, which I think I did pretty well on — there were a lot of questions on procedure, easy stuff. Last but not least, we had physical exams. We’ve just come back today from the last of them — our first field assignment. They took us east to camp near the Chocobo Ranch for a few days, just some monster hunting and stuff. Actually, it was pretty boring until somebody’s group wandered too far off and got lost, and the Midgar Zolom almost got them. It was a good thing we had some SOLDIER Firsts with us to help drive it off; that thing was a nasty piece of work, even worse than some of the dragons that live up in the mountains around home.
“Yo, Cloud.”
The blond looked up as Paul stepped out of the bathroom, toweling his hair. “There’s a free shower now, if you want it.”
“Thanks. I’ll just be a minute, then.”
“Sure.” The older cadet yawned hugely. “I think I’m going to try to get some shuteye — you should, too, once you finish that. The past few weeks have been pretty crazy, so it’ll be a nice change to get some sleep without having to worry about exams in the morning, right?”
“Too true.” Cloud smiled a little before returning to his writing. “G’night.”
“Night.”
So now that the exams are over, all we have to do is wait. They tell us it should be a week at most before our results are posted. To tell the truth, I’m almost more nervous about this than I was about the exams themselves! Anyway, I’ll write you again once I have my results… and the first time I have leave, I’ll come home for a visit. Until then, take care of yourself, Mom. I miss you.
Love,
Cloud
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
1 May 467.
Dear Mom
Cloud stared unseeing at the beginnings of the letter before him, swallowing hard past the lump in his throat. Frustrated, he crumpled the paper into a ball and hurled it violently across the room to join the others in the wastebasket.
He couldn’t believe this had happened.
Drawing his knees to his chest and resting his chin on them, he stared miserably at the floor. He still couldn’t write that letter, even three days after all of his dreams and careful plans had come crashing down like an avalanche in spring.
He had never even considered the possibility of…
The bitter taste remained in his mouth even after he viciously cut off the thought… but there really was no denying it. He had come back to the postings dozens of times in his aimless wandering of the corridors, but as much as he stared with desperate eyes, his name never appeared on the list of accepted cadets.
He’d failed to make it into SOLDIER.
What was he supposed to tell his mother, who’d scrimped and saved for years in order to send him here to fulfill his dream? What was he supposed to tell Vincent?
Vincent…
Cloud’s heart grew heavier as he thought of his friend and teacher all alone in the mountains, not having heard from him in over a year. He suddenly wanted nothing more than to go back to that tiny shack and bury his face in his mentor’s cloak, like he had when he was little, and just forget — forget Midgar, forget ShinRa, forget SOLDIER and even his idol, Sephiroth.
But what would Vincent say? Cloud knew his mentor had never really approved of his desire to join SOLDIER, but he would never come right out and say as much. No, he’d be a silent, comforting presence until his student had calmed down… and then the former Turk would chide him for not being prepared for all possible outcomes.
Cloud snorted. As if he hadn’t already kicked himself enough for that one.
Blinking back unshed tears, he considered his options. Going home now, at least, was totally out of the question. Even if he weren’t worried about the reactions of his loved ones, the Midgar-Nibelheim journey was expensive; his meager savings would just barely cover the cost of the train to Junon. He’d have to find a job here in Midgar and work until he made enough to cover the expense… but who would hire a failed SOLDIER cadet with a smattering of Turk training?
…Actually, he thought ruefully, that was a ridiculously easy question to answer.
ShinRa’s regular army was always looking for a few good men — or at least anyone who could follow orders and differentiate between the two ends of a standard-issue rifle. Cloud could recall one of the other members of his squad once mentioning that they often took any failed cadets who had nowhere else to go. And from what he’d heard, the army paid pretty well, too — far better than the pittance SOLDIER cadets received for spending money. After about a year or so, he’d have plenty of money for the trip back home, and enough left over to help support his mother for a while, too.
Taking a deep breath and wiping at his eyes with one sleeve, Cloud rose to his feet and began packing. He might have failed the exams, but now that he knew what he was doing with himself, he didn’t feel quite so lost anymore.
As long as he didn’t think too much about it, everything would be fine.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“It really is for the best, Aeris.”
“But I love him, and you know that!”
“He’s a ShinRa employee, dear… and you know they’ve wanted you for years. What will you do if they order him to come after you?”
“Zack would never turn me in — and if it came down to it, he’d probably—”
Elmyra shook her head. “Aeris, I’m tired of having to worry about you every time you leave the house. It’s just gotten worse since you began seeing that boy; as if things weren’t bad enough with Tseng, now a SOLDIER? President Shinra himself might as well be breathing down the backs of our necks right now! If you break things off with him and stay low for a while—”
She snorted. “What, you think then things will actually—”
“Aeris Gainsborough!”
The young woman glared at her, green eyes very nearly glowing with anger.
Elmyra Gainsborough swallowed hard. Though the girl she’d taken in as her daughter wasn’t physically intimidating in the least, she was still quite a force to be reckoned with when she got this riled up, carrying herself as if the very wrath of Gaea Herself supported her, the air around her alive with tension. “I didn’t want to do this to you, but so help me, I will not let them take you from me like they took Peter.” Trying to keep her voice firm, she continued, “As long as you live in this house, you are not to see that young man again. Do I make myself clear?”
“I won’t let—” She stopped mid-sentence, her eyes going distant, and her mother sighed. Aeris had been doing this for years, ever since Elmyra had found her at the train station in Sector Seven. “Talking to the Planet,” she called it. Elmyra had been concerned at first, fearing the girl had some mental illness, but they really couldn’t afford a psychiatrist, and since Aeris had been a perfectly normal and happy child otherwise, she’d soon stopped worrying so much about it.
Then she’d learned the truth, and ShinRa had become involved… and she’d had far more important things to worry about.
After several minutes Aeris blinked rapidly, then let out a heavy sigh, clearly upset. For a long time she would not meet her mother’s gaze, just stared hard at her white-knuckled fist on the table, struggling to compose herself; when she finally spoke, her voice was low and tight with emotion. “Please… may I see him just one last time? I don’t want him to think… I don’t want to just disappear.”
Elmyra hesitated for a long moment, then nodded slowly. If she couldn’t keep her daughter both safe and happy, she could at least give her this much.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“Hey there.”
Aeris looked up to see her boyfriend standing there at the foot of the garden, and froze. Zack was dressed in his usual casual wear, hands in his pockets, dark hair as unruly as always. He had that easy grin on his face that never failed to elicit an answering smile from her… but now it just made her want to cry.
His grin faded as he took a few steps forward, and his indigo eyes shone with concern. “Are you okay?”
Aeris shook her head miserably as she threw herself into his arms, blinking her tears away. She would not cry, not with her mother standing there in the doorway of the house, watching.
Zack held her for a long time, stroking her hair as she clung to him. “What’s the matter?” he asked softly.
Stepping back a little, Aeris took a deep breath and told him.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Looking at them, Elmyra knew it had been a mistake to let things go on this long.
They had grown too attached to each other. It was obvious in Aeris’ earnest face as she looked up at him, in the way she stood so comfortably in his arms, in the way she touched him to ground herself as she explained. It was obvious in Zack’s downcast eyes, in the way he held her gently but tightly, firmly in control of a strength that could easily kill her, in the way he rubbed her back for reassurance.
Aeris ended with a question, her eyes desperate; Zack nodded slowly in answer, and they shared a long, tight embrace. He kissed her tenderly, and with a lingering touch they parted.
The young SOLDIER’s gaze rose to meet hers as he passed, and Elmyra was chilled by the hurt in his eyes… even as she was warmed by the tiny spark of hope in their depths. Maybe someday…
Aeris stood in the garden alone for a long, long time.
“I’m sorry,” Elmyra said softly when her daughter finally came into the house.
The young woman paused on the stairs, one hand on the banister, not quite able to look at her. “…I know.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Sephiroth may not have been much of a people person, but after all the time he’d spent with Zack in the past several years, he had picked up enough of the younger SOLDIER’s mannerisms to be able to read him at least a little.
And now the General found it pretty obvious that there was something wrong.
Since shortly after the exams, Zack’s cheerful disposition had taken on a decidedly artificial feel. He was unusually quiet and subdued, and the quality of his work had definitely decreased over the past few days. Sephiroth was becoming more than a little concerned about the whole thing… and he didn’t like the feeling in the least.
The seventh of May began rather inauspiciously in the office of the General of SOLDIER. He kept a close eye on Zack, frowning at all his uncharacteristic behaviors: much shuffling of papers instead of actual work, a great deal of rather gloomy staring off into space, and none of the usual incessant humming along with the radio that played quietly in the background. (That had been Zack’s idea, of course; “never could stand working in silence,” he’d explained on the first day he’d brought the thing in. It had been bothersome at first… but, like most of his aide’s quirks, Sephiroth had become used to it.)
The commercial break ended, and the deejay introduced a Solese love song that was currently very popular among the young soldiers. Zack was quite fond of it himself, and would often walk down the hall singing snatches of it… which was why the General was so taken aback when his aide suddenly lunged from his seat to turn the radio off.
Sephiroth’s frown deepened. “I thought you loved that song,” he commented, trying to sound casual.
“Getting damn sick of hearing it all the time,” Zack grumbled, leaning forward with his head in his hands.
The General resisted the urge to sigh in frustration. This was getting ridiculous; if Zack didn’t pull out of this funk soon, it was going to drive him utterly insane. One way or another, he was going to get to the bottom of this. Clearing his throat, he said coolly, “Sergeant Major, your attitude lately has been less than satisfactory. I expect you have an explanation for this?”
“…I’m really not in the mood for the total professionalism bullshit, Seph, so stuff it.”
“Fine, then. Tell me what’s wrong, Zachary,” he ordered in a voice that was only slightly more appropriate for a civilian inquiring as to the condition of a friend.
“Don’t call me Zachary,” came the automatic response.
Sephiroth waited.
After several minutes his aide sighed heavily. “You remember that girl I’ve told you about?”
“Which one?”
“The One. You know, the one girl I’ve ever been really serious about? The one I’ve been seeing for about a year now?”
“Ahh, the flower girl from the slums?”
“Yeah.” Zack slumped forward even more, folding his arms and resting his head on them, not caring about the papers on his desk. “She told me we had to break it off.”
The General’s response was mildly curious. “Why?”
“Apparently the company’s got it in for her somehow,” he explained, his voice bitter. “She wasn’t exactly clear on why, though… only that it isn’t really safe for us to continue seeing each other.”
Sephiroth rose and came around his desk to stand a short distance from the dark-haired man. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly, even though the words felt woefully inadequate.
Another sigh. “So am I.”
The silver-haired General hesitated a moment before reaching out a little to lay a gloved hand on Zack’s shoulder, giving what he hoped was a comforting squeeze.
Strong fingers covered his own, and the younger SOLDIER turned his head a little to look up at him.
The expression on his face, sad and weary but grateful, made Sephiroth’s heart feel lighter than it had in nearly a week, and so he did something he’d rarely been comfortable with before:
He smiled, just a little.
Zack’s eyes widened in surprise at this uncharacteristic display. “Seph, are you—”
“Take the rest of the day off, Zack. Sort through this if you need to.”
“But…” Zack trailed off, realizing he really wasn’t getting anything done. “All right, I’ll go.” Sephiroth nodded as his aide gathered his things, casting one last look over his shoulder as he left the office. Hopefully Zack would be able to lay his own problems to rest, and return in better condition. For now, though, he’d best get started, see if he couldn’t put a dent in the work that had built up over the past few days… for both of them.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Zack was more than a little ashamed of himself. He had never been one to allow his emotional disposition to negatively affect his work. If things had gotten so bad that Sephiroth, of all people, noticed…
He sighed.
In some ways he was so conflicted he didn’t know what to think. He truly cared for Aeris, deeply enough that he might even have married her if he’d gotten the chance. Part of him was utterly devastated at the breakup; part of him was angry she hadn’t even given him the chance to make a decision. The raven-haired man had more than once toyed with the idea of leaving ShinRa, marrying Aeris, and taking her far from Midgar. He had known the Turks were interested in her at one point, though his presence had seemed to keep them at bay.
Strange that Aeris seemed to think being with him would cause even more difficulties… or, perhaps more likely, he thought with a scowl, her mother thought his presence would act as a catalyst for further difficulties.
There was only one problem with leaving ShinRa for Aeris, and it could be summed up in a single word: Sephiroth. Zack couldn’t allow his friend to be left alone in this. Such a thing would undoubtedly result in the General backsliding into the cold, isolated individual he had been before his aide had started his ‘work.’ Far too much lay between them for Zack to simply abandon the man, and Sephiroth was the last employee the company would ever let go.
Zack sighed again as he meandered through the halls. In some ways he needed to be alone, but at the same time, he didn’t want solitude. He would have liked to find someone to talk to, but… the only person who even knew he was seeing Aeris was Sephiroth, who had always held a rather fatalistic view of long-term relationships. Not really the best man to go to for advice.
Even as lost in his thoughts as he was, Zack easily spotted bright sunshine hair in the shadows. Curious, the SOLDIER altered his course and made his way over toward the slight figure, who looked just as depressed as he did.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Cloud had been enjoying his time off. Regular troopers had more time on duty than SOLDIER candidates, but they also didn’t have to attend nearly as many instructional periods. They were required to clock in so many hours at the gym, but that was hardly a problem for Cloud, especially since was used to doing far beyond the minimum. Even though he was no longer a SOLDIER cadet, he didn’t want to get out of shape. If he did, Vincent would wipe the floor with him… not that the ex-Turk couldn’t wipe the floor with him already, but it would be a lot easier.
Unfortunately, the blond had just had an encounter which had destroyed his reasonably content mood. Scott and Paul had seen him and stopped to chat. Neither of the new SOLDIERs had apparently undergone any Mako treatments yet, as their eyes lacked that distinctive glow. The pair had tried to encourage him to apply again, reminding him that most people, themselves included, didn’t make it in on their first try. They hadn’t stayed long, thank goodness, but their words had left him feeling terribly unbalanced. The money he was currently saving would cover the cost to re-enter the SOLDIER program (which was actually rather high; Cloud didn’t know how his mother had managed it). The blond knew he could work on further developing his skills while he saved up the necessary money, and no longer being a first-time cadet, he wouldn’t have to worry about the Turks, either, meaning he could perform at his absolute best.
On the other hand, he didn’t know if he could handle possibly failing again.
Cloud was startled out of his thoughts by a soft voice. “Hey.” Looking up, he was greeted by Zachary Sinclair’s familiar form. He was surprised by the telltale signs of sadness: slumped shoulders, forced smile, eyes just a touch too bright. None of them looked right on the usually cheerful SOLDIER. “How are you doing?” Cloud looked away. “It’s not a shame to not make it, you know.”
“Says the man who made it to Second Class on his first try,” Cloud snapped, and then colored. “I’m sorry, sir. That was uncalled for.”
“Well, you’re right that I don’t know how you’re feeling…” Zack turned so he was leaning on the wall next to Cloud. “I’m surprised you found that out, though. It’s no real secret or anything, but the records aren’t open for just anyone’s eyes.”
Cloud shrugged. “Considering your age, sir, it’s pretty obvious. If you’re already First Class you’d have to be very good, even if you did join during the war.”
Zack was rather impressed. Most people wouldn’t have made that deduction. “Still, kid… it isn’t a shame, really. You have talent. I know, I’ve seen it. You just need a bit more time to develop it, that’s all.” Not to mention some social know-how. Zack had seen Cloud’s results — he had to file the damn things, after all — and the reports from the blond’s commanders had constantly noted how the teen didn’t work very well with his comrades. Since Cloud didn’t have any extraordinary abilities, and his Mako receptiveness was slightly below average, there was no way he would get into SOLDIER without excellent cooperation skills.
“I guess…”
“Hey, you haven’t gone home yet. That must mean something, at least.”
Cloud didn’t bother to tell him the only reason he was still here was that he didn’t have the money to go home. Silence fell between them for a long while. Finally, the blond spoke up. “…What’s bothering you, sir?”
Zack flinched a little, upset that his distress was still showing. “Bad breakup, that’s all. I’ll get over it.”
Cloud gave the SOLDIER a long look, wondering if he should offer the advice on his mind. He might as well; it wasn’t like Zack would bite his head off for it. “If I may… I find working on a project can help, sir. I mean, keeping yourself busy to help keep your mind off that sort of thing.” Not that he’d had a breakup himself, yet, but it had helped him when he was feeling emotionally unstable, anyway.
“Hm…” Zack thought about it. He hadn’t managed to get his mind on his work yet, but if he wanted to work through this, he did need to distance himself from his emotions for a bit. Maybe he did need a “personal project,” something just for himself, just for fun. But what? Nothing came readily to mind… and if he just worked by himself, he would only become more miserable. He needed an activity that would involve someone else…
The man’s eyes brightened as the perfect idea dropped into his head. “Hey, Cloud… How about I give you a little personal training?”
Cloud’s jaw dropped, and his eyebrows flew up to his hairline. “You? Teach me? Uh, sir?”
“Why not? ‘S not like there’re rules against it or anything.” Zack grinned. He could whip this kid into shape in no time! And it was just the sort of thing that could help get his mind off Aeris.
Cloud looked him for a long time, then slowly nodded. “All right. I accept your offer, sir.”
“Then let the lessons begin! To the gym, soldier. I want to see what you can do!”
Read Comments | Leave a Comment
