OK! Done with the 3 first chapters! I really like this universe (theses boys have simply too much in common), even if the idea of Ed with a wand is still quite strange for me…
Very little quibbles, before I post:
“Really?” Ed seized the idea. Yes!-Search-for-way-home-has-continued look on his face. “If I could just figure out the basics I could learn the rest.” H had with alchemy after all. Maybe it misses one or two verbs. And an ‘e’ at ‘He’.
In fact he reminded Harry of a more mischievous version of Hughes. Err… Ed?
I’ve shown you how to work the map. If Ed doesn’t have his wand yet, how can he use the map?
…Or maybe not. Who am I to criticize in English? *disappears in a cloud of shame*
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2005-12-20 09:50 am (UTC)Very little quibbles, before I post:
“Really?” Ed seized the idea. Yes!-Search-for-way-home-has-continued look on his face. “If I could just figure out the basics I could learn the rest.” H had with alchemy after all.
Maybe it misses one or two verbs. And an ‘e’ at ‘He’.
In fact he reminded Harry of a more mischievous version of Hughes.
Err… Ed?
I’ve shown you how to work the map. If Ed doesn’t have his wand yet, how can he use the map?
…Or maybe not. Who am I to criticize in English? *disappears in a cloud of shame*