![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
Butterfly Effect: Chapter 39
Authors: Bard Linn and Kiraya
Genre: General/Drama
Pairings: ZackxSeph, Assorted Past
Rating (Overall): PG-13
Warnings: None this chapter.
Summary: We’re here to remember my son, Cloud Strife.
Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII and all associated characters and symbols are the exclusive property of Square Enix and its associates. We’re just borrowing them for a while.
Chapter 39
“It is with great sadness that I call you here today,” General Heidegger boomed from the podium atop the platform that had been hastily assembled in the main gym. “For today, I must inform you that your comrade, SOLDIER Second Class Cloud Strife, has made the ultimate sacrifice for the good of the company and the safety of us all.” He paused for dramatic emphasis. “Strife was pursuing the fugitive Toshirou Hojo, former ShinRa scientist. His hard work was instrumental to the success of his mission…”
Good of the company, my ass, Zack thought, keeping his face still as he stood a space behind Sephiroth, slightly to the man’s right. Cloud died because we were too damn slow. Yeah, he was determined to bring Hojo down — but for Valentine and Seph, not the company.
“…his dedication, we posthumously award him the rank of SOLDIER First Class…”
Cloud would hate this. The promotions, the empty speeches, the pomp… Cloud hadn’t cared about any of that. Well, no, not true; he would have loved the promotion to First, if he’d felt like he’d earned it. Truth be told, though, anyone who could hold his own as well against Sephiroth as Cloud had in Nibelheim last year definitely deserved it; they just hadn’t managed to complete all the paperwork and necessary procedures before this mission.
Zack watched with stony eyes as Heidegger continued his speech. When it was finally over, Sephiroth would receive one of the decorative SOLDIER First Class belts worn on the rare occasions they were forced into formal wear. The general would personally commend Sephiroth for his SOLDIER’s efforts, and ask the man to speedily send his fallen comrade home. This usually meant a tiny spot in the cramped, oft-forgotten military mausoleum in one corner of the compound, but Zack had no intention of doing anything so arbitrary with Cloud’s remains. He had already called Cloud’s mother — Gaea, that had been hard — and arranged for her to come to Midgar to collect her son’s remains, paying her fare himself.
It was the least he could do, after failing to protect him.
After this he had another duty he was dreading even more. Aeris and Tifa had to be told, and Zack couldn’t justify telling them by phone, not when they were right here in Midgar. He was already exhausted, especially since they’d gotten back only to be informed that this assembly would be taking place in less than an hour. They’d barely had enough time to clean up and get into formal gear before appearing in the auditorium.
Vincent had not been invited.
Finally, none too soon for Zack’s aching heart, they were dismissed. Sephiroth moved swiftly from the platform for the ceremony out the back door, behind the blue backdrop. Zack kept close on his heels, following the other man to his quarters. Sephiroth placed the belt with Cloud’s dog tags and the little box holding his ashes in his tiny rock garden, watched over by the wind chime Cloud had given him so many years ago. It would do for a temporary resting place until his mother arrived in about a week.
“You should get some rest.”
Zack jumped a bit at Sephiroth’s voice, jarred out of his brooding. “Not yet,” he replied with a sigh. “I… need to go down and tell Aeris and Tifa. They aren’t going to take this well, and it’ll only be worse if I wait, or — Odin forbid — they find out from someone else.”
Sephiroth looked him over. Zack held himself perfectly still, guessing pretty well what the General was seeing: the dark marks under his eyes, his unusual pallor, his slumped shoulders and heavy tread. He was well aware of how awful he must look, but he doubted he’d be able to get any sleep if he tried, especially before he talked to the ladies. It’d be hard, and not just because of his news. Tifa he’d seen a few times, but since that confrontation in front of the ShinRa Building, he and Aeris had come to an unspoken agreement to avoid each other. Frankly, the last thing he wanted to do was fight with Seph about his health before he went down there.
“…Give me a moment to change and I’ll come with you.”
Zack felt a smile cross his face for the first time in days. “Thanks, Seph.” He made a few minor changes to his outfit as well. SOLDIER’s formal uniforms weren’t bad, compared to the regulars’, but they didn’t include the brackets SOLDIERs used to hold their swords in place. Stripping a few pieces from the regular uniform he’d left in Sephiroth’s rooms before the ceremony, Zack gave them a quick polish and slipped them on, feeling the Buster Sword click into place a minute later when he swung it over his back, though not with any of his usual flourishes. Sephiroth appeared in what seemed mere seconds later, dressed in his more usual garb, save that it was newer than those he had worn on the mission — his own version of semi-formals.
Thus attired, the pair left Sephiroth’s room, leaving Cloud behind. Zack felt better than he thought he could have with his silver-haired shadow following him down below. “Seph?”
“Yes, Zack?”
“Thanks for coming.”
A moment of silence, and then, quietly, “Any time.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Elmyra had been less than pleased to see Zack appear at her door again. “Happy” didn’t describe how she’d felt about the SOLDIER’s disappearance from her daughter’s life, though coupled with “utterly relieved” it might come close. Even though the threat from ShinRa seemed to be gone — and Elmyra was always ready for that to change at any moment — Reeve was a much better match for Aeris. Her daughter seemed to be going about her new relationship with much more caution this time, but Elmyra had seen the spark between the two as they sat in her garden, drinking tea and pondering over how to bring greenery back to Midgar. Handsome, dependable, chivalrous and not the type to be sent out on dangerous missions to Gaea knew where were only some of his improvements over Zack, in her humble opinion.
Elmyra had been even less happy to see Zack’s companion, however. For General Sephiroth to be wandering Midgar and coming here, of all places, something had to be seriously wrong. “Can I help you, gentlemen?” she asked crisply, subtly blocking the doorframe with her body.
“Mrs. Gainsborough.” Zack bowed slightly, setting off all sorts of warning bells in Elmyra’s head. He had never been so formal. “We were hoping to talk to your daughter and Miss Lockhart.” Sadness crept into his eyes. “We have some… bad news.”
That was when it sunk in — the implications of Zack’s formality, the fact that these particular SOLDIERs, and not the one she was most familiar with, had come to visit. She had always been fond of Cloud — not in the least because he was very protective of Elmyra’s daughter, who’d had a close friendship with him for years. He was kind, polite, and worked with both of the girls to help them be strong enough to defend themselves in the sometimes rough conditions of life under the Plate. The possibility that something had happened to him… Elmyra bit her lip. “Please come in,” she finally said. “I’ll make some tea.” Stepping out of the way, she turned towards the stairs, calling, “Aeris! Tifa! Could you come here a moment?”
The young women came clattering down the stairs, Tifa holding a duster and Aeris a broom, clearly having been interrupted while cleaning. “Zack?” It was Tifa who spoke first, but she only sounded surprised by his unannounced appearance.
Aeris, more familiar with ShinRa’s procedures, paled at seeing Zack in his formal uniform, Sephiroth silent at his side. She, like her mother, jumped to the obvious conclusion. “Where’s Cloud?”
Zack swallowed, and fixed his gaze on a spot on the wall between the two women. “…You might want to sit down,” he said evasively.
“What happened?” Tifa demanded.
There wasn’t really a way Zack could dodge that one. He sighed. “Cloud went with us on a mission. We found Hojo, but…”
“During our engagement with the target, SOLDIER Strife was launched over a cliff into the sea,” Sephiroth continued as Zack struggled with words. His tone was professionally distant, just as it usually was when he’d had to give this speech — far more often than Zack liked to think about — though this time… Maybe it was his imagination, or maybe it was just because he knew Sephiroth so well, but he thought he could hear just a touch of sorrow underneath that calm tone. “His efforts were critical our successful elimination of the target, though I deeply regret that we were unable to save him.” The usual brief pause, and then, more honestly than Zack had ever heard it before… “He was a fine SOLDIER.”
The silence was deafening, and stretched on for far too long. Zack found himself babbling to fill it. “We just got back today — I called Cloud’s mom and let her know. She’ll be coming to—” he choked “—to take him home in about a week.”
“…You’re lying.”
They all looked at Aeris at that, startled by the conviction in her voice, though her green eyes glistened with tears threatening to fall. “He’s not— I would have known. They would have told me.” She shook her head fiercely. “He’s not— he can’t be!”
“Unfortunately, Miss Gainsborough,” Sephiroth said, not unkindly, “the tests conducted by the forensics team were conclusive—”
Aeris didn’t seem to even hear him, bolting for door, easily escaping Zack’s half-hearted attempt to catch her. Even if things had been awkward between them lately, he would’ve liked to have been able to say something to comfort her… if he’d been able to come up with anything convincing.
“You’re sure?” Tifa asked, meeting Sephiroth’s gaze with no fear or timidity, only determination. “You’re sure — there wasn’t a mistake?”
“I reviewed the results myself,” Sephiroth answered, and Zack could tell he was impressed by her directness.
“Dammit!” she growled, fist slamming into the wall in frustration. Giving the dropped duster a savage kick as she passed, she stalked across the room. “I’m going after Aeris,” she declared, and as the door slammed behind her Zack found himself actually feeling sorry for any lowlife who might dare cross her in this mood.
It wasn’t long until the silence grew awkward again, though, and Zack, feeling rather useless, tried to find some way to break it again. “Um, Mrs. Gainsborough… should I let you know when Cloud’s mom comes in?”
“Please do,” she replied. “I won’t have her staying alone at a hotel. Just give us a call and we’ll pick her up at the train station.”
“Thank you,” Zack said, surprised by her generosity.
“Cloud did a lot of good things for Aeris,” she murmured, a distant look on her face as she smiled a little, sadly. “It’s the very least we can do.”
Zack inclined his head at her words, guessing that to be an implied, much-needed dismissal. “Then we’ll keep in touch.” He rose to stand next to Sephiroth. “Thank you again — and I’m sorry we had to make this visit.”
“Better the girls found out from you than from the news,” Elmyra noted as she walked them to the door. “Just… give them time, Mr. Sinclair. They’ll need it.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Aeris ran, barely looking at where she was going, her tears blurring her vision. Only long practice kept her upright as she stumbled through the slums, ignoring the startled looks of the people about her. A distant part of her brain pointed out running like this through some of the more dangerous parts of Midgar, especially without her staff or Tifa to back her up, was practically asking for something bad to happen, but Aeris wasn’t in the mood for sensibility.
It sounded an awful lot like Cloud, and that made it even worse.
Hearing Cloud was dead had hurt enough, but knowing she hadn’t known, like she had when her mother’s husband had died in the war with Wutai years ago, was like a slap in the face. Shouldn’t she have known? Wouldn’t the Voices have told her about Cloud, who she knew and liked? They had always approved of him in their own way, though it had been somewhat more lukewarm once he’d become a SOLDIER.
Finally reaching sanctuary within the old church that she privately thought of as her own, Aeris fell to her knees in the flower bed, crying out in anguish, futilely beating the earth beneath her with her fists. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you warn me? Why can’t I do anything?”
Other than an uncomfortable murmuring in the back of her mind she received no response. Though infinitely frustrating, this wasn’t much of a surprise — she’d always had a hard time understanding the Voices when she was upset. If only her mama had been able to tell her more…
Aeris continued to weep bitterly, fingers clenching against the soil, only to start in surprise as hands touched her shoulders. She looked up, her heart speeding — was it Zack? — only to feel a pang of disappointment as she realized it was just Tifa.
The other woman sat down next to her and pulled her into a hug. “I know, I know…” She didn’t say anything else, but Aeris continued to wet her shirt with her tears, feeling Tifa’s own damp in her hair.
Tifa was relieved to see Aeris settle a bit as she continued to cry, more sorrowful than hysterical now. She tightened her arms around her friend. Cloud’s death seemed so unlikely it wasn’t surprising that Aeris had rejected it, though they had both known it was a very real possibility, considering his occupation. If she was feeling the same gaping emptiness within her that Tifa was, her reaction was completely understandable. She just hoped her embrace could bring Aeris some comfort. “It’ll be okay. We’ll get through this together…”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Most SOLDIERs forgot to make wills. Even though everyone knew the risks, whether it be in fieldwork or medical experiments (there had not yet been any confirmed deaths to paperwork, despite Zack’s wild tales), there was always a sense among SOLDIER that they were invincible. And ShinRa never forced the issue, since without a serviceman’s will a deceased SOLDIER’s belongings went to the company by default. To be honest, Zack had forgotten to remind Cloud about it, though he’d made a will himself when he’d made First Class. Much to his pleasant surprise, Cloud had done likewise after being promoted to Second, so they wouldn’t have to fight for what little he’d left behind.
It had been more of a surprise to find out all the people he’d named in his will. Zack had expected his mother, of course, and maybe Vincent, but he hadn’t expected himself and Sephiroth to be summoned for the reading as well, along with Tifa and Aeris.
When they arrived at the executor’s office for the reading of the will, Zack was pleasantly surprised. He’d always thought of executors as skinny, with pointed noses and generally dour temperaments, but this man was plump (though not rotund as some of the board members were) and had laugh lines around his eyes. There were pictures of his family and their two dogs on his desk and the walls, and Zack found himself approving of the setting. This was much better than the impersonal chill of ShinRa’s briefing rooms.
His eyes flickered over the group before him, grateful they weren’t facing the door. Elanor Strife had gotten in only last night, so he hadn’t had to see Cloud’s mother yet in person.
“Ah, gentlemen. With your arrival we are now ready. Please, sit.” The SOLDIERs did so, taking the two seats left for them on one side of the table, facing a viewscreen. “I am George Roberts, and I’ve been named the executor for Mr. Strife’s will. Normally I would just read the written will aloud, but the testator prepared a video as well.”
“He did?” Zack asked, surprised. “When did he do that?”
“About ten months ago,” Roberts replied. “It was a relatively new option at the time, but I suppose he felt the need for it.”
Zack nodded. That would put it about just after they had returned from Nibelheim the last time; considering how things had nearly gone all wrong there, it wasn’t surprising Cloud had felt the need to update his will — and come to think of it, he should probably do the same.
“I will return after you have had a chance to watch it,” the executor said, activating the viewscreen and leaving the room.
Zack wasn’t the only one who took in a quick breath at the look of Cloud’s vibrant living self, still dressed in his SOLDIER Second Class uniform, swords over his shoulder. “Um, hi everyone. I guess if you’re watching this, I’m dead.” The image of Cloud ran a hand through his hair, clearly unsettled by the thought. “Hopefully I didn’t do anything so stupid that you’ll all beat me up in the Lifestream when you guys eventually pass on — and don’t rush that on my account, please.
“Anyway, um, yeah, guess I better get to giving stuff out, shouldn’t I?” He straightened. “Mom… you’re getting most of my money — the executor has the details. Please, use it however you like. Make a bigger garden, move out of Nibelheim, whatever. And don’t try to give it away — I want to know you’re taken care of.
“Vincent… I’m leaving you my guns. Nobody else can really use them, after all. Please take care of yourself and don’t do anything stupid — I don’t want to see you in the Lifestream early. If you haven’t gotten Hojo yet… I hope you do.
“Aeris, I’m leaving you my staffs. Take good care of them, and make sure to keep practicing! Tifa, you’re getting my materia and some of my martial arts books. Please divide the materia with Aeris as you see fit. I want you two to be well protected.
“Zack, I’m leaving you my armor — we’re close enough in size you might be able to use it — and my bladed weapons. Don’t you dare rename Shiranui something dumb like “Pretty Puzzle Pieces” or I’ll come back and kick your ass from here to the Crater.
“Sephiroth, um, I hope you’ll be willing to accept the rest of my books not named for Tifa. I picked up some of them in Wutai, and I think you’ll like ‘em. And… take care of Zack for me, please? I’m guessing this can’t be easy for him.” Cloud’s face went rather red, and he looked down towards his feet. “I’ll miss you all… and you can bet if I get the chance I’ll hang around and keep an eye on you guys and make sure you’re all right. Just… try and get on without me. You’re all strong enough. ”
The screen went blank. Elanor was quietly crying, and Aeris was holding her hand, tears threatening to spill from her own eyes. Tifa didn’t look much better as she put a comforting arm around Aeris’ shoulders. Vincent was unreadable, of course, and Sephiroth wasn’t showing many signs of emotion himself, though he rarely did in situations like this. Zack, for his part, was fighting tears of his own.
The executor came in a few minutes later, passing a box of tissues around and giving everyone a moment to compose themselves before he spoke. “Now, Mr. Strife was very specific in his requests. If I may read his paper will…?”
When they finally left the office, Zack spoke to the others quietly, promising to bring Cloud’s belongings down to the Gainsborough house. Elanor nodded, but hesitated. “I know you had a bit of a ceremony up there about a week ago…. but I was hoping we might be able to do something before I leave. You were all very important to Cloud. He used to write about you all the time — you in particular, Zack.”
“I’m sure we can arrange something,” Aeris put in. “We could have it at the garden at the house…”
“Maybe a remembrance ceremony?” Tifa, more familiar with the Nibelheim customs, suggested.
“It’s the wrong time of year for it, but I think that would be perfect.” Elanor smiled at Tifa. “And I very much appreciate the offer of your garden, Miss Gainsborough. It’s the most beautiful place I’ve seen in Midgar so far.”
“It’s no trouble at all,” Aeris replied, looking more upbeat than she had since Zack’s announcement, now having something to do. “So, what do we need to do?”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Zack had long ago gotten used to the way knowledge spread in ShinRa, so it wasn’t long before he started receiving inquires from his fellow SOLDIERs about what they were going to do for Cloud since his mother was in town. He’d been a bit conflicted, since on one hand, the remembrance ceremony was meant to be a private affair, but, well… Cloud had made lots of friends in SOLDIER who hadn’t been satisfied with ShinRa’s formal, impersonal little send-off. Eventually, he’d compromised by telling everyone that if they found out the details and decided to show up, they should wear civvies and make sure to bring something to eat or drink.
Thus it really wasn’t much of a surprise when a good twenty SOLDIERs, two specialists, and an advisory member of the MMG Project showed up at Aeris’ garden at the appointed time. Elmyra had looked over the gathering with some annoyance — she could tell a SOLDIER in or out of uniform — but Elanor had been happy with the crowd.
“Thank you all for coming. As I’m sure you all know, we’re here to remember my son, Cloud Strife.
“Nibelheim tradition states that every year, during the winter’s longest nights, we remember those who have journeyed to the Lifestream during the past year.” She smiled wryly. “It’s a bit early, but I have to go home next week.
“Everyone here is welcome to tell some memory they have of Cloud — funny, meaningful, anything else you can think of. We believe that by keeping his memory alive, he is kept alive as well in our hearts.” Elanor paused, looking around at the group. “My fondest memory of Cloud is the look on his face when I told him that I had arranged for him to come to Midgar to join SOLDIER. He was very surprised, and a little scared as well, I think, but he came here, and in the end, succeeded in achieving his dream of becoming a SOLDIER.
“I only saw my son twice more before he died, both times when he returned to Nibelheim on missions. The second time, he demonstrated to us all how much he had grown. I’ve never been more proud of my son that I was at that moment.” Elanor sat down, leaving the floor open for someone else to take the lead. Silence reigned for a moment, until Red XIII rose from his haunches and started to speak, solemnly.
“My first trip away from home was not a pleasant one. I was beaten, shackled, treated as less than a person because I’m not human in form — none of which I was used to. I fared little better when those who had taken me captive surrendered me to the treatment of the late Professor Hojo, and hatred and bitterness came to fester in my heart.
“And then I met Cloud — a young man who would go so far as to defy those to whom he owed his allegiance to alleviate another’s suffering. I was surprised, and at first skeptical, that a human warrior of ShinRa could be so selfless — but it was his kindness that made me reconsider my outlook. Over the years since I’ve learned well that, like any group of people, ShinRa has its good and its bad — its employees who strive for honor and integrity in their actions and its members who are selfish and play loose with ethics. Of the former, Cloud was one of the finest.”
He settled down again, and after a brief pause Arthur stood up.
“I first met Cloud was when he joined my unit in the regulars. We didn’t really know much about each other until he beat the crap out of some jerks who’d been bothering me…”
After Arthur, Morgan spoke next, before giving way to SOLDIER after SOLDIER, all sharing memories of Cloud — training, fighting, drinking, laughing, brightening the lives of those around him. Food and drink alike began to dwindle as the tales continued. When most of the ‘uninvited guests’ had already spoken, Elanor nodded at Tifa to go next. Closest friends were supposed to close the ceremony, just as family was supposed to open it. The martial artist stood, a little uncomfortable with all the eyes on her. “Cloud and I… we used to spar together. I knew he had to hold back with me, but it was one of my favorite things to do. Just once, I actually managed to beat him, but amazingly, he wasn’t upset about it — he was just as glad as I was. Absolutely ecstatic.” She paused. “Of course, he then insisted that I had to buy the drinks next time we went out.”
That drew laughter from everyone, and when it died down some Aeris rose to go next. “Cloud and I first met down here in the slums, where I was selling flowers. I still remember the first time he came to visit after he returned from that mission for the rocket launch. He’d brought back seeds from all sorts of flowers from all over the world.” She smiled wistfully. “That was the kind of person he was. Even in the midst of everything else he had going on, he remembered the little things. I know I’ll miss that more than anything else about Cloud — his way of caring for others.”
Zack moved to stand as Aeris sat, only to find himself retrained by a familiar hand as Sephiroth stood. Zack was surprised, but couldn’t help a grin. Sephiroth hated speaking at things like this; for him to voluntarily participate… Cloud had obviously meant more to him than they’d guessed.
“Most of you were briefed on our discoveries at Nibelheim and the effects Hojo’s latest work has on SOLDIERs. What you do not know is how we found out about these effects.” Sephiroth paused, and Zack stared at him incredulously. What, exactly, did the man think he was up to? He couldn’t tell them what had really happened!
“In an effort to cover ground more quickly, Zack, Cloud, and I split up to search the ShinRa Mansion. I was the first to encounter Hojo’s latest research, and fell victim to an effect similar to Confuse. Cloud was the one who found me first — and managed to hold his own against me, despite being only Second Class. He relied not on his strength or adaptations alone, but also on quick thinking, precise swordwork, and excellent spellcasting.
“Many of you have sparred with me in the past. Let me make this absolutely clear: under the effects of Hojo’s research, I was not holding back. My tactical faculties may have been impaired, but I attacked my subordinate with all my speed and strength. And Cloud managed to hold his own for more than ten minutes — enough time for Zack to arrive with his Esuna.”
Sephiroth paused for a moment before continuing. “I have known very few SOLDIERs as skilled or well-rounded as Cloud Strife. We are truly weakened by his loss.”
As he sat back down, Zack beamed at him, looking around. Everyone else had spoken, aside from a familiar figure lurking in the shadows, making no move to step forward. Despite Sephiroth’s unexpected input, Zack doubted Vincent was going to say anything, which meant it was his turn. He stood, looking over the group of Cloud’s friends. “Well… you all know who I am.” The crowd chuckled. “But you know… I really can’t think of just one memory I want to share of Cloud. One day I’m just going about my own business, helping folks out from time to time, and next thing I know I’ve got a cute little blond shadow tagging after me and learning everything I could throw at him.
“It wasn’t long before Cloud had mastered just about everything I could teach him. Every day he became less a student and more a friend. Soon enough, I couldn’t imagine life without seeing him just about every day — unless he was on a mission, then we made sure to call twice a week, and I got letters in the mail like clockwork.” An apologetic smile. “Can’t say I was very good at sending replies back, though.” More laughter at this, particularly from the SOLDIERs, who knew better than any about Zack’s failings when it came to long-distance communication.
“I… can’t really believe he’s gone just yet,” he confessed, serious now. “I keep expecting him to be there when I turn around, or to come in on the next transport.” He blinked back tears. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to him being gone, but… you know, we’ve got to move on — that’s what Cloud wanted.”
The gathering was silent for a long moment until Elanor finally stood, picking up the box she had received from Sephiroth. “At home we scatter the ashes of our dead on the side of the mountain, but… I think Cloud would be happier here, in this garden, in the city where he worked and lived.” She moved over to a corner Aeris had cleared earlier, and Elanor placed the ashes in the little hole there, pressing the simple memorial plaque into the dirt to mark the spot before rising. “Thank you all for coming. I feel Cloud will rest easier knowing how much he meant to all of you.”
A murmur of replies rippled through the group, and they slowly began to clear out, taking various belongings with them, or removing trash, each person stopping to pay their respects to Elanor. Aeris and Tifa vanished inside the house, replacing chairs, cushion and blankets. Once most of the crowd had left, Elanor turned to Sephiroth and Zack. “I’d like you two to keep these.” She held out Cloud’s dogtags, placing them in Zack’s hands.
“But…” he protested weakly, even as his hands curled around the thin pieces of metal.
“You two were the closest to Cloud of those here tonight. I’ll take the belt home — I’m very proud of my SOLDIER son — but you deserve something to keep for yourselves to remember as well.” She hugged Zack and nodded at Sephiroth. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I’m going to go help the others clean up.”
“Let’s go lend a hand too, Seph,” Zack suggested, eyes flickering over to Cloud’s grave, now deserted in the dimming light. Sephiroth, quickly understanding what he meant, followed him inside without speaking.
Once the final guests had left, Vincent stepped out of the shadows and dropped to one knee, placing his human hand against the plaque that now served as a gravemarker. As a Turk, he knew better than to get too attached to his comrades, well aware that this was the result more often than not. But in spite of that, he had gotten close to Cloud — perhaps too close.
This never should have happened. Cloud had been expertly trained and talented. Had Sephiroth and Zack been unimpaired… if only he had moved faster…
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Sephiroth had been somewhat surprised by how much the loss of Cloud had impacted his life. He hadn’t been aware of it, but the blond had become as much of a constant for him as he had for Zack. While he might not have been Cloud’s near-constant companion the way Zack had, he’d found the younger man a valuable resource — and friend. More than once Sephiroth had ended up consulting Cloud on some matter that had completely puzzled him about Zack, whether it be a strange behavior or what to buy him for his birthday. He had been bright, creative, inventive, and able to keep up with Sephiroth in a many a field — a rarity even among SOLDIERs.
Now, watching Zack so obviously hurting, he silently wished Cloud were here. The other man had always been better at coaxing Zack out of his emotional low spots than Sephiroth — even a bit of advice about how to handle his friend’s grief would have been appreciated.
The pang in his chest at that thought reminded him quite sharply how close he had gotten to Cloud — and how much closer he was to Zack. Sephiroth tried not to think about it, but it could very easily have been Zack they buried tonight instead of Cloud, had Hojo shifted his choice of targets… The very idea made him feel quickly mounting unease and worry, so he wrenched his thoughts back on track. Zack was safe for now, and he would have to do his best to keep it that way.
“Excuse me, General… May I speak with you for a moment?”
Sephiroth shook himself from his thoughts before turning to look at the young woman who had addressed him. “Of course, Miss Gainsborough.”
“Outside, please.” Curious, Sephiroth did as requested, following her through the door to stop a few feet from the house. Aeris turned, meeting his gaze. He had no doubt she was able to see his eyes clearly in the dim light, if nothing else — and his own sight was such that she wasn’t obscured at all.
“Sephiroth… I want you to take care of Zack.” The woman looked almost defiant. “Cloud asked you to, and I am too, because he needs someone to lean on now more than ever before.” She took a deep breath, and continued, “I don’t know anything about your relationship, and frankly, I don’t want to know, but if you don’t support him the way he deserves, by Gaea, I will come and take him back. He deserves better than that.”
Sephiroth blinked, and against all odds found himself wanting to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. This woman — girl — who had hurt Zack so badly by pushing him away was threatening him? It might have been a dangerous situation for her — or so Zack had said — but if she had really cared for him, wouldn’t he have been worth sticking it out for, worth fighting for?
He eyed her coolly. “You need not fear that I will be lax in the duties with which Cloud charged me,” Sephiroth replied crisply. “I will make quite sure that Zack suffer no further harm — emotional or otherwise. He has certainly been through more than enough of the former in the past month or two.” His words held volumes of implication, and some small cruel part of him was pleased to see the woman flinch guiltily at that.
“Everything all right out here?” came Zack’s voice suddenly as he stepped out of the house, looking between the pair.
“Fine, Zack,” Aeris responded, her gaze flickering briefly towards him, though she didn’t turn away from the General. “I was just thanking Sephiroth for coming.”
“Yeah…” Zack smiled a bit crookedly. “Thanks a lot, Seph.” And Sephiroth felt the tension and bitterness in him fade as his friend came up beside him, on his right just as always. “But I think we both better go, Aer. Your mom doesn’t really want us to hang around…”
She nodded. “Yeah…” she said softly. “I’ll see you soon?”
“When I get a chance,” Zack promised. “Things will probably be pretty crazy topside for a while.”
“I guess so…” Aeris looked like she wanted to say more on the subject, but held her tongue. “Take care of yourself.”
Zack smiled. “You too.” And with that, they left, heading back to the military compound they called home above the Plate. Zack slowed as they approached the corridor for SOLDIER Firsts, reluctantly passing Sephiroth’s door. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?”
Sephiroth looked carefully at him… then shook his head. “Come inside, Zack. We could both use something decent to eat — most of what the guests brought was junk food.” His aide looked surprised; Sephiroth knew he had some sort of food in his own kitchenette, but he had no intention of leaving Zack alone to drink himself to sleep tonight.
So Zack settled on Sephiroth’s couch as the General pulled together a quick meal of leftover poultry and greens. While it was reheating, he removed his shoulder armour and jacket, setting the Masamune in its customary place on the wall. Once the food was done, he gathered it up and placed it on the coffee table, returning with two glasses of water as well. Zack, who was staring mindlessly at the wall, almost perfectly still as Sephiroth settled next to him — very un-Zack-like behavior. As the pale-haired man leaned back, Zack abruptly turned and buried his head in his shoulder. Sephiroth froze for a second… but then tentatively placed his arm around his friend.
That, it seemed, was all it took for Zack to break down completely, weeping harshly into Sephiroth’s shoulder, holding to him almost like a lifeline. Feeling completely out of his depth, Sephiroth just held him closer. In all the years he had known him, he had never seen Zack so upset before — only moody and generally unhappy — and he had never been good at handling crying people. But Cloud’s last request, echoed by Aeris, was fresh in his mind. The last thing he was going to do was let Zack go through this alone, no matter how awkward it made him feel.
He was General Sephiroth, and no matter what they said about him, he always took care of his people.
Previous Chapter | Archive | Author's Notes | Next Chapter
Read Comments | Leave a Comment
Genre: General/Drama
Pairings: ZackxSeph, Assorted Past
Rating (Overall): PG-13
Warnings: None this chapter.
Summary: We’re here to remember my son, Cloud Strife.
Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII and all associated characters and symbols are the exclusive property of Square Enix and its associates. We’re just borrowing them for a while.
Chapter 39
“It is with great sadness that I call you here today,” General Heidegger boomed from the podium atop the platform that had been hastily assembled in the main gym. “For today, I must inform you that your comrade, SOLDIER Second Class Cloud Strife, has made the ultimate sacrifice for the good of the company and the safety of us all.” He paused for dramatic emphasis. “Strife was pursuing the fugitive Toshirou Hojo, former ShinRa scientist. His hard work was instrumental to the success of his mission…”
Good of the company, my ass, Zack thought, keeping his face still as he stood a space behind Sephiroth, slightly to the man’s right. Cloud died because we were too damn slow. Yeah, he was determined to bring Hojo down — but for Valentine and Seph, not the company.
“…his dedication, we posthumously award him the rank of SOLDIER First Class…”
Cloud would hate this. The promotions, the empty speeches, the pomp… Cloud hadn’t cared about any of that. Well, no, not true; he would have loved the promotion to First, if he’d felt like he’d earned it. Truth be told, though, anyone who could hold his own as well against Sephiroth as Cloud had in Nibelheim last year definitely deserved it; they just hadn’t managed to complete all the paperwork and necessary procedures before this mission.
Zack watched with stony eyes as Heidegger continued his speech. When it was finally over, Sephiroth would receive one of the decorative SOLDIER First Class belts worn on the rare occasions they were forced into formal wear. The general would personally commend Sephiroth for his SOLDIER’s efforts, and ask the man to speedily send his fallen comrade home. This usually meant a tiny spot in the cramped, oft-forgotten military mausoleum in one corner of the compound, but Zack had no intention of doing anything so arbitrary with Cloud’s remains. He had already called Cloud’s mother — Gaea, that had been hard — and arranged for her to come to Midgar to collect her son’s remains, paying her fare himself.
It was the least he could do, after failing to protect him.
After this he had another duty he was dreading even more. Aeris and Tifa had to be told, and Zack couldn’t justify telling them by phone, not when they were right here in Midgar. He was already exhausted, especially since they’d gotten back only to be informed that this assembly would be taking place in less than an hour. They’d barely had enough time to clean up and get into formal gear before appearing in the auditorium.
Vincent had not been invited.
Finally, none too soon for Zack’s aching heart, they were dismissed. Sephiroth moved swiftly from the platform for the ceremony out the back door, behind the blue backdrop. Zack kept close on his heels, following the other man to his quarters. Sephiroth placed the belt with Cloud’s dog tags and the little box holding his ashes in his tiny rock garden, watched over by the wind chime Cloud had given him so many years ago. It would do for a temporary resting place until his mother arrived in about a week.
“You should get some rest.”
Zack jumped a bit at Sephiroth’s voice, jarred out of his brooding. “Not yet,” he replied with a sigh. “I… need to go down and tell Aeris and Tifa. They aren’t going to take this well, and it’ll only be worse if I wait, or — Odin forbid — they find out from someone else.”
Sephiroth looked him over. Zack held himself perfectly still, guessing pretty well what the General was seeing: the dark marks under his eyes, his unusual pallor, his slumped shoulders and heavy tread. He was well aware of how awful he must look, but he doubted he’d be able to get any sleep if he tried, especially before he talked to the ladies. It’d be hard, and not just because of his news. Tifa he’d seen a few times, but since that confrontation in front of the ShinRa Building, he and Aeris had come to an unspoken agreement to avoid each other. Frankly, the last thing he wanted to do was fight with Seph about his health before he went down there.
“…Give me a moment to change and I’ll come with you.”
Zack felt a smile cross his face for the first time in days. “Thanks, Seph.” He made a few minor changes to his outfit as well. SOLDIER’s formal uniforms weren’t bad, compared to the regulars’, but they didn’t include the brackets SOLDIERs used to hold their swords in place. Stripping a few pieces from the regular uniform he’d left in Sephiroth’s rooms before the ceremony, Zack gave them a quick polish and slipped them on, feeling the Buster Sword click into place a minute later when he swung it over his back, though not with any of his usual flourishes. Sephiroth appeared in what seemed mere seconds later, dressed in his more usual garb, save that it was newer than those he had worn on the mission — his own version of semi-formals.
Thus attired, the pair left Sephiroth’s room, leaving Cloud behind. Zack felt better than he thought he could have with his silver-haired shadow following him down below. “Seph?”
“Yes, Zack?”
“Thanks for coming.”
A moment of silence, and then, quietly, “Any time.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Elmyra had been less than pleased to see Zack appear at her door again. “Happy” didn’t describe how she’d felt about the SOLDIER’s disappearance from her daughter’s life, though coupled with “utterly relieved” it might come close. Even though the threat from ShinRa seemed to be gone — and Elmyra was always ready for that to change at any moment — Reeve was a much better match for Aeris. Her daughter seemed to be going about her new relationship with much more caution this time, but Elmyra had seen the spark between the two as they sat in her garden, drinking tea and pondering over how to bring greenery back to Midgar. Handsome, dependable, chivalrous and not the type to be sent out on dangerous missions to Gaea knew where were only some of his improvements over Zack, in her humble opinion.
Elmyra had been even less happy to see Zack’s companion, however. For General Sephiroth to be wandering Midgar and coming here, of all places, something had to be seriously wrong. “Can I help you, gentlemen?” she asked crisply, subtly blocking the doorframe with her body.
“Mrs. Gainsborough.” Zack bowed slightly, setting off all sorts of warning bells in Elmyra’s head. He had never been so formal. “We were hoping to talk to your daughter and Miss Lockhart.” Sadness crept into his eyes. “We have some… bad news.”
That was when it sunk in — the implications of Zack’s formality, the fact that these particular SOLDIERs, and not the one she was most familiar with, had come to visit. She had always been fond of Cloud — not in the least because he was very protective of Elmyra’s daughter, who’d had a close friendship with him for years. He was kind, polite, and worked with both of the girls to help them be strong enough to defend themselves in the sometimes rough conditions of life under the Plate. The possibility that something had happened to him… Elmyra bit her lip. “Please come in,” she finally said. “I’ll make some tea.” Stepping out of the way, she turned towards the stairs, calling, “Aeris! Tifa! Could you come here a moment?”
The young women came clattering down the stairs, Tifa holding a duster and Aeris a broom, clearly having been interrupted while cleaning. “Zack?” It was Tifa who spoke first, but she only sounded surprised by his unannounced appearance.
Aeris, more familiar with ShinRa’s procedures, paled at seeing Zack in his formal uniform, Sephiroth silent at his side. She, like her mother, jumped to the obvious conclusion. “Where’s Cloud?”
Zack swallowed, and fixed his gaze on a spot on the wall between the two women. “…You might want to sit down,” he said evasively.
“What happened?” Tifa demanded.
There wasn’t really a way Zack could dodge that one. He sighed. “Cloud went with us on a mission. We found Hojo, but…”
“During our engagement with the target, SOLDIER Strife was launched over a cliff into the sea,” Sephiroth continued as Zack struggled with words. His tone was professionally distant, just as it usually was when he’d had to give this speech — far more often than Zack liked to think about — though this time… Maybe it was his imagination, or maybe it was just because he knew Sephiroth so well, but he thought he could hear just a touch of sorrow underneath that calm tone. “His efforts were critical our successful elimination of the target, though I deeply regret that we were unable to save him.” The usual brief pause, and then, more honestly than Zack had ever heard it before… “He was a fine SOLDIER.”
The silence was deafening, and stretched on for far too long. Zack found himself babbling to fill it. “We just got back today — I called Cloud’s mom and let her know. She’ll be coming to—” he choked “—to take him home in about a week.”
“…You’re lying.”
They all looked at Aeris at that, startled by the conviction in her voice, though her green eyes glistened with tears threatening to fall. “He’s not— I would have known. They would have told me.” She shook her head fiercely. “He’s not— he can’t be!”
“Unfortunately, Miss Gainsborough,” Sephiroth said, not unkindly, “the tests conducted by the forensics team were conclusive—”
Aeris didn’t seem to even hear him, bolting for door, easily escaping Zack’s half-hearted attempt to catch her. Even if things had been awkward between them lately, he would’ve liked to have been able to say something to comfort her… if he’d been able to come up with anything convincing.
“You’re sure?” Tifa asked, meeting Sephiroth’s gaze with no fear or timidity, only determination. “You’re sure — there wasn’t a mistake?”
“I reviewed the results myself,” Sephiroth answered, and Zack could tell he was impressed by her directness.
“Dammit!” she growled, fist slamming into the wall in frustration. Giving the dropped duster a savage kick as she passed, she stalked across the room. “I’m going after Aeris,” she declared, and as the door slammed behind her Zack found himself actually feeling sorry for any lowlife who might dare cross her in this mood.
It wasn’t long until the silence grew awkward again, though, and Zack, feeling rather useless, tried to find some way to break it again. “Um, Mrs. Gainsborough… should I let you know when Cloud’s mom comes in?”
“Please do,” she replied. “I won’t have her staying alone at a hotel. Just give us a call and we’ll pick her up at the train station.”
“Thank you,” Zack said, surprised by her generosity.
“Cloud did a lot of good things for Aeris,” she murmured, a distant look on her face as she smiled a little, sadly. “It’s the very least we can do.”
Zack inclined his head at her words, guessing that to be an implied, much-needed dismissal. “Then we’ll keep in touch.” He rose to stand next to Sephiroth. “Thank you again — and I’m sorry we had to make this visit.”
“Better the girls found out from you than from the news,” Elmyra noted as she walked them to the door. “Just… give them time, Mr. Sinclair. They’ll need it.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Aeris ran, barely looking at where she was going, her tears blurring her vision. Only long practice kept her upright as she stumbled through the slums, ignoring the startled looks of the people about her. A distant part of her brain pointed out running like this through some of the more dangerous parts of Midgar, especially without her staff or Tifa to back her up, was practically asking for something bad to happen, but Aeris wasn’t in the mood for sensibility.
It sounded an awful lot like Cloud, and that made it even worse.
Hearing Cloud was dead had hurt enough, but knowing she hadn’t known, like she had when her mother’s husband had died in the war with Wutai years ago, was like a slap in the face. Shouldn’t she have known? Wouldn’t the Voices have told her about Cloud, who she knew and liked? They had always approved of him in their own way, though it had been somewhat more lukewarm once he’d become a SOLDIER.
Finally reaching sanctuary within the old church that she privately thought of as her own, Aeris fell to her knees in the flower bed, crying out in anguish, futilely beating the earth beneath her with her fists. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you warn me? Why can’t I do anything?”
Other than an uncomfortable murmuring in the back of her mind she received no response. Though infinitely frustrating, this wasn’t much of a surprise — she’d always had a hard time understanding the Voices when she was upset. If only her mama had been able to tell her more…
Aeris continued to weep bitterly, fingers clenching against the soil, only to start in surprise as hands touched her shoulders. She looked up, her heart speeding — was it Zack? — only to feel a pang of disappointment as she realized it was just Tifa.
The other woman sat down next to her and pulled her into a hug. “I know, I know…” She didn’t say anything else, but Aeris continued to wet her shirt with her tears, feeling Tifa’s own damp in her hair.
Tifa was relieved to see Aeris settle a bit as she continued to cry, more sorrowful than hysterical now. She tightened her arms around her friend. Cloud’s death seemed so unlikely it wasn’t surprising that Aeris had rejected it, though they had both known it was a very real possibility, considering his occupation. If she was feeling the same gaping emptiness within her that Tifa was, her reaction was completely understandable. She just hoped her embrace could bring Aeris some comfort. “It’ll be okay. We’ll get through this together…”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Most SOLDIERs forgot to make wills. Even though everyone knew the risks, whether it be in fieldwork or medical experiments (there had not yet been any confirmed deaths to paperwork, despite Zack’s wild tales), there was always a sense among SOLDIER that they were invincible. And ShinRa never forced the issue, since without a serviceman’s will a deceased SOLDIER’s belongings went to the company by default. To be honest, Zack had forgotten to remind Cloud about it, though he’d made a will himself when he’d made First Class. Much to his pleasant surprise, Cloud had done likewise after being promoted to Second, so they wouldn’t have to fight for what little he’d left behind.
It had been more of a surprise to find out all the people he’d named in his will. Zack had expected his mother, of course, and maybe Vincent, but he hadn’t expected himself and Sephiroth to be summoned for the reading as well, along with Tifa and Aeris.
When they arrived at the executor’s office for the reading of the will, Zack was pleasantly surprised. He’d always thought of executors as skinny, with pointed noses and generally dour temperaments, but this man was plump (though not rotund as some of the board members were) and had laugh lines around his eyes. There were pictures of his family and their two dogs on his desk and the walls, and Zack found himself approving of the setting. This was much better than the impersonal chill of ShinRa’s briefing rooms.
His eyes flickered over the group before him, grateful they weren’t facing the door. Elanor Strife had gotten in only last night, so he hadn’t had to see Cloud’s mother yet in person.
“Ah, gentlemen. With your arrival we are now ready. Please, sit.” The SOLDIERs did so, taking the two seats left for them on one side of the table, facing a viewscreen. “I am George Roberts, and I’ve been named the executor for Mr. Strife’s will. Normally I would just read the written will aloud, but the testator prepared a video as well.”
“He did?” Zack asked, surprised. “When did he do that?”
“About ten months ago,” Roberts replied. “It was a relatively new option at the time, but I suppose he felt the need for it.”
Zack nodded. That would put it about just after they had returned from Nibelheim the last time; considering how things had nearly gone all wrong there, it wasn’t surprising Cloud had felt the need to update his will — and come to think of it, he should probably do the same.
“I will return after you have had a chance to watch it,” the executor said, activating the viewscreen and leaving the room.
Zack wasn’t the only one who took in a quick breath at the look of Cloud’s vibrant living self, still dressed in his SOLDIER Second Class uniform, swords over his shoulder. “Um, hi everyone. I guess if you’re watching this, I’m dead.” The image of Cloud ran a hand through his hair, clearly unsettled by the thought. “Hopefully I didn’t do anything so stupid that you’ll all beat me up in the Lifestream when you guys eventually pass on — and don’t rush that on my account, please.
“Anyway, um, yeah, guess I better get to giving stuff out, shouldn’t I?” He straightened. “Mom… you’re getting most of my money — the executor has the details. Please, use it however you like. Make a bigger garden, move out of Nibelheim, whatever. And don’t try to give it away — I want to know you’re taken care of.
“Vincent… I’m leaving you my guns. Nobody else can really use them, after all. Please take care of yourself and don’t do anything stupid — I don’t want to see you in the Lifestream early. If you haven’t gotten Hojo yet… I hope you do.
“Aeris, I’m leaving you my staffs. Take good care of them, and make sure to keep practicing! Tifa, you’re getting my materia and some of my martial arts books. Please divide the materia with Aeris as you see fit. I want you two to be well protected.
“Zack, I’m leaving you my armor — we’re close enough in size you might be able to use it — and my bladed weapons. Don’t you dare rename Shiranui something dumb like “Pretty Puzzle Pieces” or I’ll come back and kick your ass from here to the Crater.
“Sephiroth, um, I hope you’ll be willing to accept the rest of my books not named for Tifa. I picked up some of them in Wutai, and I think you’ll like ‘em. And… take care of Zack for me, please? I’m guessing this can’t be easy for him.” Cloud’s face went rather red, and he looked down towards his feet. “I’ll miss you all… and you can bet if I get the chance I’ll hang around and keep an eye on you guys and make sure you’re all right. Just… try and get on without me. You’re all strong enough. ”
The screen went blank. Elanor was quietly crying, and Aeris was holding her hand, tears threatening to spill from her own eyes. Tifa didn’t look much better as she put a comforting arm around Aeris’ shoulders. Vincent was unreadable, of course, and Sephiroth wasn’t showing many signs of emotion himself, though he rarely did in situations like this. Zack, for his part, was fighting tears of his own.
The executor came in a few minutes later, passing a box of tissues around and giving everyone a moment to compose themselves before he spoke. “Now, Mr. Strife was very specific in his requests. If I may read his paper will…?”
When they finally left the office, Zack spoke to the others quietly, promising to bring Cloud’s belongings down to the Gainsborough house. Elanor nodded, but hesitated. “I know you had a bit of a ceremony up there about a week ago…. but I was hoping we might be able to do something before I leave. You were all very important to Cloud. He used to write about you all the time — you in particular, Zack.”
“I’m sure we can arrange something,” Aeris put in. “We could have it at the garden at the house…”
“Maybe a remembrance ceremony?” Tifa, more familiar with the Nibelheim customs, suggested.
“It’s the wrong time of year for it, but I think that would be perfect.” Elanor smiled at Tifa. “And I very much appreciate the offer of your garden, Miss Gainsborough. It’s the most beautiful place I’ve seen in Midgar so far.”
“It’s no trouble at all,” Aeris replied, looking more upbeat than she had since Zack’s announcement, now having something to do. “So, what do we need to do?”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Zack had long ago gotten used to the way knowledge spread in ShinRa, so it wasn’t long before he started receiving inquires from his fellow SOLDIERs about what they were going to do for Cloud since his mother was in town. He’d been a bit conflicted, since on one hand, the remembrance ceremony was meant to be a private affair, but, well… Cloud had made lots of friends in SOLDIER who hadn’t been satisfied with ShinRa’s formal, impersonal little send-off. Eventually, he’d compromised by telling everyone that if they found out the details and decided to show up, they should wear civvies and make sure to bring something to eat or drink.
Thus it really wasn’t much of a surprise when a good twenty SOLDIERs, two specialists, and an advisory member of the MMG Project showed up at Aeris’ garden at the appointed time. Elmyra had looked over the gathering with some annoyance — she could tell a SOLDIER in or out of uniform — but Elanor had been happy with the crowd.
“Thank you all for coming. As I’m sure you all know, we’re here to remember my son, Cloud Strife.
“Nibelheim tradition states that every year, during the winter’s longest nights, we remember those who have journeyed to the Lifestream during the past year.” She smiled wryly. “It’s a bit early, but I have to go home next week.
“Everyone here is welcome to tell some memory they have of Cloud — funny, meaningful, anything else you can think of. We believe that by keeping his memory alive, he is kept alive as well in our hearts.” Elanor paused, looking around at the group. “My fondest memory of Cloud is the look on his face when I told him that I had arranged for him to come to Midgar to join SOLDIER. He was very surprised, and a little scared as well, I think, but he came here, and in the end, succeeded in achieving his dream of becoming a SOLDIER.
“I only saw my son twice more before he died, both times when he returned to Nibelheim on missions. The second time, he demonstrated to us all how much he had grown. I’ve never been more proud of my son that I was at that moment.” Elanor sat down, leaving the floor open for someone else to take the lead. Silence reigned for a moment, until Red XIII rose from his haunches and started to speak, solemnly.
“My first trip away from home was not a pleasant one. I was beaten, shackled, treated as less than a person because I’m not human in form — none of which I was used to. I fared little better when those who had taken me captive surrendered me to the treatment of the late Professor Hojo, and hatred and bitterness came to fester in my heart.
“And then I met Cloud — a young man who would go so far as to defy those to whom he owed his allegiance to alleviate another’s suffering. I was surprised, and at first skeptical, that a human warrior of ShinRa could be so selfless — but it was his kindness that made me reconsider my outlook. Over the years since I’ve learned well that, like any group of people, ShinRa has its good and its bad — its employees who strive for honor and integrity in their actions and its members who are selfish and play loose with ethics. Of the former, Cloud was one of the finest.”
He settled down again, and after a brief pause Arthur stood up.
“I first met Cloud was when he joined my unit in the regulars. We didn’t really know much about each other until he beat the crap out of some jerks who’d been bothering me…”
After Arthur, Morgan spoke next, before giving way to SOLDIER after SOLDIER, all sharing memories of Cloud — training, fighting, drinking, laughing, brightening the lives of those around him. Food and drink alike began to dwindle as the tales continued. When most of the ‘uninvited guests’ had already spoken, Elanor nodded at Tifa to go next. Closest friends were supposed to close the ceremony, just as family was supposed to open it. The martial artist stood, a little uncomfortable with all the eyes on her. “Cloud and I… we used to spar together. I knew he had to hold back with me, but it was one of my favorite things to do. Just once, I actually managed to beat him, but amazingly, he wasn’t upset about it — he was just as glad as I was. Absolutely ecstatic.” She paused. “Of course, he then insisted that I had to buy the drinks next time we went out.”
That drew laughter from everyone, and when it died down some Aeris rose to go next. “Cloud and I first met down here in the slums, where I was selling flowers. I still remember the first time he came to visit after he returned from that mission for the rocket launch. He’d brought back seeds from all sorts of flowers from all over the world.” She smiled wistfully. “That was the kind of person he was. Even in the midst of everything else he had going on, he remembered the little things. I know I’ll miss that more than anything else about Cloud — his way of caring for others.”
Zack moved to stand as Aeris sat, only to find himself retrained by a familiar hand as Sephiroth stood. Zack was surprised, but couldn’t help a grin. Sephiroth hated speaking at things like this; for him to voluntarily participate… Cloud had obviously meant more to him than they’d guessed.
“Most of you were briefed on our discoveries at Nibelheim and the effects Hojo’s latest work has on SOLDIERs. What you do not know is how we found out about these effects.” Sephiroth paused, and Zack stared at him incredulously. What, exactly, did the man think he was up to? He couldn’t tell them what had really happened!
“In an effort to cover ground more quickly, Zack, Cloud, and I split up to search the ShinRa Mansion. I was the first to encounter Hojo’s latest research, and fell victim to an effect similar to Confuse. Cloud was the one who found me first — and managed to hold his own against me, despite being only Second Class. He relied not on his strength or adaptations alone, but also on quick thinking, precise swordwork, and excellent spellcasting.
“Many of you have sparred with me in the past. Let me make this absolutely clear: under the effects of Hojo’s research, I was not holding back. My tactical faculties may have been impaired, but I attacked my subordinate with all my speed and strength. And Cloud managed to hold his own for more than ten minutes — enough time for Zack to arrive with his Esuna.”
Sephiroth paused for a moment before continuing. “I have known very few SOLDIERs as skilled or well-rounded as Cloud Strife. We are truly weakened by his loss.”
As he sat back down, Zack beamed at him, looking around. Everyone else had spoken, aside from a familiar figure lurking in the shadows, making no move to step forward. Despite Sephiroth’s unexpected input, Zack doubted Vincent was going to say anything, which meant it was his turn. He stood, looking over the group of Cloud’s friends. “Well… you all know who I am.” The crowd chuckled. “But you know… I really can’t think of just one memory I want to share of Cloud. One day I’m just going about my own business, helping folks out from time to time, and next thing I know I’ve got a cute little blond shadow tagging after me and learning everything I could throw at him.
“It wasn’t long before Cloud had mastered just about everything I could teach him. Every day he became less a student and more a friend. Soon enough, I couldn’t imagine life without seeing him just about every day — unless he was on a mission, then we made sure to call twice a week, and I got letters in the mail like clockwork.” An apologetic smile. “Can’t say I was very good at sending replies back, though.” More laughter at this, particularly from the SOLDIERs, who knew better than any about Zack’s failings when it came to long-distance communication.
“I… can’t really believe he’s gone just yet,” he confessed, serious now. “I keep expecting him to be there when I turn around, or to come in on the next transport.” He blinked back tears. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to him being gone, but… you know, we’ve got to move on — that’s what Cloud wanted.”
The gathering was silent for a long moment until Elanor finally stood, picking up the box she had received from Sephiroth. “At home we scatter the ashes of our dead on the side of the mountain, but… I think Cloud would be happier here, in this garden, in the city where he worked and lived.” She moved over to a corner Aeris had cleared earlier, and Elanor placed the ashes in the little hole there, pressing the simple memorial plaque into the dirt to mark the spot before rising. “Thank you all for coming. I feel Cloud will rest easier knowing how much he meant to all of you.”
A murmur of replies rippled through the group, and they slowly began to clear out, taking various belongings with them, or removing trash, each person stopping to pay their respects to Elanor. Aeris and Tifa vanished inside the house, replacing chairs, cushion and blankets. Once most of the crowd had left, Elanor turned to Sephiroth and Zack. “I’d like you two to keep these.” She held out Cloud’s dogtags, placing them in Zack’s hands.
“But…” he protested weakly, even as his hands curled around the thin pieces of metal.
“You two were the closest to Cloud of those here tonight. I’ll take the belt home — I’m very proud of my SOLDIER son — but you deserve something to keep for yourselves to remember as well.” She hugged Zack and nodded at Sephiroth. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I’m going to go help the others clean up.”
“Let’s go lend a hand too, Seph,” Zack suggested, eyes flickering over to Cloud’s grave, now deserted in the dimming light. Sephiroth, quickly understanding what he meant, followed him inside without speaking.
Once the final guests had left, Vincent stepped out of the shadows and dropped to one knee, placing his human hand against the plaque that now served as a gravemarker. As a Turk, he knew better than to get too attached to his comrades, well aware that this was the result more often than not. But in spite of that, he had gotten close to Cloud — perhaps too close.
This never should have happened. Cloud had been expertly trained and talented. Had Sephiroth and Zack been unimpaired… if only he had moved faster…
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Sephiroth had been somewhat surprised by how much the loss of Cloud had impacted his life. He hadn’t been aware of it, but the blond had become as much of a constant for him as he had for Zack. While he might not have been Cloud’s near-constant companion the way Zack had, he’d found the younger man a valuable resource — and friend. More than once Sephiroth had ended up consulting Cloud on some matter that had completely puzzled him about Zack, whether it be a strange behavior or what to buy him for his birthday. He had been bright, creative, inventive, and able to keep up with Sephiroth in a many a field — a rarity even among SOLDIERs.
Now, watching Zack so obviously hurting, he silently wished Cloud were here. The other man had always been better at coaxing Zack out of his emotional low spots than Sephiroth — even a bit of advice about how to handle his friend’s grief would have been appreciated.
The pang in his chest at that thought reminded him quite sharply how close he had gotten to Cloud — and how much closer he was to Zack. Sephiroth tried not to think about it, but it could very easily have been Zack they buried tonight instead of Cloud, had Hojo shifted his choice of targets… The very idea made him feel quickly mounting unease and worry, so he wrenched his thoughts back on track. Zack was safe for now, and he would have to do his best to keep it that way.
“Excuse me, General… May I speak with you for a moment?”
Sephiroth shook himself from his thoughts before turning to look at the young woman who had addressed him. “Of course, Miss Gainsborough.”
“Outside, please.” Curious, Sephiroth did as requested, following her through the door to stop a few feet from the house. Aeris turned, meeting his gaze. He had no doubt she was able to see his eyes clearly in the dim light, if nothing else — and his own sight was such that she wasn’t obscured at all.
“Sephiroth… I want you to take care of Zack.” The woman looked almost defiant. “Cloud asked you to, and I am too, because he needs someone to lean on now more than ever before.” She took a deep breath, and continued, “I don’t know anything about your relationship, and frankly, I don’t want to know, but if you don’t support him the way he deserves, by Gaea, I will come and take him back. He deserves better than that.”
Sephiroth blinked, and against all odds found himself wanting to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. This woman — girl — who had hurt Zack so badly by pushing him away was threatening him? It might have been a dangerous situation for her — or so Zack had said — but if she had really cared for him, wouldn’t he have been worth sticking it out for, worth fighting for?
He eyed her coolly. “You need not fear that I will be lax in the duties with which Cloud charged me,” Sephiroth replied crisply. “I will make quite sure that Zack suffer no further harm — emotional or otherwise. He has certainly been through more than enough of the former in the past month or two.” His words held volumes of implication, and some small cruel part of him was pleased to see the woman flinch guiltily at that.
“Everything all right out here?” came Zack’s voice suddenly as he stepped out of the house, looking between the pair.
“Fine, Zack,” Aeris responded, her gaze flickering briefly towards him, though she didn’t turn away from the General. “I was just thanking Sephiroth for coming.”
“Yeah…” Zack smiled a bit crookedly. “Thanks a lot, Seph.” And Sephiroth felt the tension and bitterness in him fade as his friend came up beside him, on his right just as always. “But I think we both better go, Aer. Your mom doesn’t really want us to hang around…”
She nodded. “Yeah…” she said softly. “I’ll see you soon?”
“When I get a chance,” Zack promised. “Things will probably be pretty crazy topside for a while.”
“I guess so…” Aeris looked like she wanted to say more on the subject, but held her tongue. “Take care of yourself.”
Zack smiled. “You too.” And with that, they left, heading back to the military compound they called home above the Plate. Zack slowed as they approached the corridor for SOLDIER Firsts, reluctantly passing Sephiroth’s door. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?”
Sephiroth looked carefully at him… then shook his head. “Come inside, Zack. We could both use something decent to eat — most of what the guests brought was junk food.” His aide looked surprised; Sephiroth knew he had some sort of food in his own kitchenette, but he had no intention of leaving Zack alone to drink himself to sleep tonight.
So Zack settled on Sephiroth’s couch as the General pulled together a quick meal of leftover poultry and greens. While it was reheating, he removed his shoulder armour and jacket, setting the Masamune in its customary place on the wall. Once the food was done, he gathered it up and placed it on the coffee table, returning with two glasses of water as well. Zack, who was staring mindlessly at the wall, almost perfectly still as Sephiroth settled next to him — very un-Zack-like behavior. As the pale-haired man leaned back, Zack abruptly turned and buried his head in his shoulder. Sephiroth froze for a second… but then tentatively placed his arm around his friend.
That, it seemed, was all it took for Zack to break down completely, weeping harshly into Sephiroth’s shoulder, holding to him almost like a lifeline. Feeling completely out of his depth, Sephiroth just held him closer. In all the years he had known him, he had never seen Zack so upset before — only moody and generally unhappy — and he had never been good at handling crying people. But Cloud’s last request, echoed by Aeris, was fresh in his mind. The last thing he was going to do was let Zack go through this alone, no matter how awkward it made him feel.
He was General Sephiroth, and no matter what they said about him, he always took care of his people.
Read Comments | Leave a Comment