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Entry tags:
Butterfly Effect: Chapter 36
Authors: Bard Linn and Kiraya
Genre: General/Drama
Pairings: ZackxSeph, Assorted Past
Rating (Overall): PG-13
Warnings: Nothing much, this chapter.
Summary: “I take it things didn’t go too well?”
Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII and all associated characters and symbols are the exclusive property of Square Enix and its associates. We’re just borrowing them for a while.
Chapter 36
Vincent nodded thoughtfully as he took the folder from Tseng. “I’ll look into it. I can’t guarantee anything…”
“A new set of eyes may be all we need,” Tseng replied. “Thank you, Vincent.”
“Of course,” he replied with a nod. “—Oh, don’t hit Cloud on your way out.”
“Hit… Strife?” Tseng looked at the former Turk with a raised eyebrow.
“He’s lurking outside the door. Again.” Vincent couldn’t help finding it rather amusing that the Turk Leader hadn’t noticed his student’s shadowing. Cloud had been keeping a rather close eye on him in the last few weeks. “In fact, send him in when you leave.”
Cloud didn’t even have the decency to look the slightest bit ashamed as he walked into the room after Tseng had gestured him inside. Undoubtedly more of Sinclair’s bad influence. “Cloud, this has to stop,” Vincent admonished. “I’m not going to vanish on you.”
Cloud paused. He actually hadn’t been around keeping an eye on Vincent this time — well, not exactly, anyway; he’d really wanted to talk to someone about his guilt over letting the Zack and Sephiroth thing slip. But since Vincent had brought it up…
“Could’ve fooled me,” he said, a bit of an edge to his voice. “Vincent, you’re practically acting like a full-time Turk without a paycheck. I mean, you’ve helped them with scouting missions, hacking… the Turk Leader comes to you when he can’t get anywhere. I thought you didn’t want to rejoin ShinRa.”
“The skills I have are… not really suited for work of any other sort.” Vincent took a seat and gestured for his student to do the same. “Nothing legal, in any case.” The SOLDIER gave him a look — the Turks were barely legal anyway. “Contrary to what you might believe, Cloud, I hardly enjoyed being locked up in Sephiroth’s quarters with only a computer to interact with.” The blond winced. “The Turks… there are very few people who understand us who are not one of us themselves.”
Cloud’s shoulders slumped. “And I haven’t been paying much attention to you at all, either…”
Vincent shook his head. “You’ve learned all I want teach you, and that’s not a bad thing. That which is left… you’re better off not knowing.” There were some things he would never tell Cloud, who despite all he had seen still retained some of the optimism that all Turks lost.
“I know, and I really am grateful for all you’ve taught me, but…” Cloud sighed. “I feel like I’m abandoning you. Just because I’m a SOLDIER doesn’t—”
“There are things you’ll experience that only another SOLDIER can understand,” Vincent interrupted. “While you have friends outside of your profession, they will never see the world in the same way as you do, quite literally. So it is within the Turks.”
“But they can’t really understand everything about you,” Cloud objected. “Not…” He made a motion towards his eyes.
“No,” Vincent admitted. Cloud understood better than the Turks how… altered he was, though Cloud was different in the sense his own enhancements had been undertaken voluntarily and were far less extreme. If anyone could truly sympathize with him on that point, it would be—
“Have you ever talked to Sephiroth about that?” the SOLDIER asked, guessing the direction of his mentor’s thoughts.
“Not in any particular detail.”
Cloud frowned, not satisfied with this answer. “He has a right to know.”
“He hasn’t asked.” Those had not been the most pleasant years of his life. If Vincent had any say in the matter, he wouldn’t revisit them anytime soon… though he did feel he owed Sephiroth some explanation for not stopping his mother or the one who called himself the General’s father.
Cloud sighed a little at that, turning to go. “Just… don’t take forever, okay? You never know what might happen.”
Vincent raised an eyebrow. “Ominous predictions are unlike you, Cloud.”
“Who says it has anything to do with a prediction?” he countered. “I know the life expectancy of Turks better than most. Just remember it yourself.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“Hello there,” Aeris said pleasantly, sitting back on her heels and smiling at the little girl who stood a few feet away, watching her work in the flower beds in front of the ShinRa Building.
The girl, dark-haired and pale-skinned, ducked her head and didn’t say anything, scooting a little closer to the woman she stood waiting with, presumably a caretaker of some sort… though she peeked sidelong at Aeris when she thought the young woman wasn’t looking.
Aeris smiled to herself at that, but went about her work anyway, pretending not to notice as the girl snuck a little farther away from her caretaker, touching the flowers with gentle hands and an awed expression on her face.
“Do you like them?”
The girl gave her a startled look, but nodded shyly, not backing away this time. Aeris smiled again. “Which ones are your favorite?”
The child paused at that, then after a moment pointed to the pansies just to Aeris’s right. Humming softly, the young woman carefully plucked one and held it out to the girl. “Here, this is for you.”
The little girl hesitated, but after a moment she took it, holding it close, brushing the soft petals with her fingers. Smile widening, the brunette said to her, “I’m Aeris. What’s your name?”
The child fidgeted for a moment, then raised her chin a little and said, “Daddy says I’m not s’posed to talk to strangers.”
Aeris nodded. “My mama used to tell me the same thing when I was little.”
The girl said nothing for a while, watching Aeris work. “I don’t remember my mama,” she finally mumbled, her voice a little sad, as the young woman handed her a daffodil.
Aeris gave her a wistful smile. “I don’t remember my daddy, myself,” she told her. “Mama told me he died when I was just a baby.”
The little girl nodded. “Daddy said the same thing about Mama when—”
“Marlene!”
“Daddy!” the little girl cried, running over to the largest man Aeris had ever seen, who swept her up into his arms as if she weighed nothing at all, giving her a kiss.
“How’s my baby girl?”
“Good,” Marlene assured him, brandishing the flowers she held. “I made a new friend, and she gave me these.” Shifting a little, she turned back to Aeris. “Miss Aeris, say hi to Daddy— please,” she added as an afterthought, looking to her father for approval.
The man nodded, though his gaze was focused on Aeris, cautious. The young woman smiled her most genuine smile and held out her hand. “I’m Aeris Gainsborough.”
“Wallace,” the man said gruffly as he shifted Marlene to cradle her with his left arm and shook Aeris’s hand, his massive palm dwarfing hers, cool and smooth and clearly not flesh and blood. “Barret Wallace.”
The name sounded familiar somehow, and though she wondered what had happened to him that he needed an artificial arm, Aeris didn’t ask. “You have a lovely daughter, Mr. Wallace,” she said politely, truthfully, and the man’s gaze softened slightly.
“Yeah, I do,” he said as he looked at her, a little smile on his lips as he tucked one of the flowers behind her ear, causing Marlene to beam happily at him.
Aeris smiled. Though the marked contrast between the two of them made them seem an unlikely pair — was Marlene adopted, as she had been? — it was clear they cared deeply for each other.
“You grow these flowers?”
Aeris shook herself out of her thoughts, nodding. “It’s hard sometimes, with the smog still as thick as it is here above the Plate, but yes. I’ve done work with gardens like this all over Midgar. It’s part of the Make Midgar Greener Project—”
“So you work for those fu—” Barret stopped, corrected himself “—for ShinRa, then.” There was just the slightest edge to his voice, and Marlene gave him a worried look.
“Well… yes.” Aeris smiled a little crookedly. “I didn’t want to at first, considering… some of the things they’ve done,” she said carefully, and the man’s grim expression at that confirmed he too had suffered at ShinRa’s hand. “But talking to Reeve and hearing about how Dr. Matheson wants to make things better, to stop using Mako power… I knew they were trying to do the right thing, and I wanted to help them with that.”
A noncommittal grunt was the only response Barret gave her, the expression on his face pensive until Marlene fidgeted impatiently in his arms. “Good luck,” was all he said then, lifting his daughter up and settling her on his shoulders, much to her obvious joy. Without another word he turned and walked off, the caretaker and a tough-looking fellow in a SOLDIER uniform following at a short distance.
That was when it clicked — she’d heard about the leader of the AVALANCHE terrorists, Barret Wallace, and how he had a child whom he was only allowed to see on supervised visits once a week. Aeris’s heart ached to think about it — her own dim memories of long periods of separation from her mother weren’t pleasant. Though she understood this was punishment for a man whose actions had killed over two dozen people all told, she wished they could have somehow chosen a sentence that didn’t punish his daughter too. No family deserved to be separated like that.
When I have children of my own…
She shook her head at that as she went back to work, chuckling. If she were ever to have children, she’d have to find a father for them first. That ancient Cetra legend about the maiden who had conceived by the will of Gaea alone and borne a child who became one of the strongest mage-healers the Planet had ever seen was all very nice, but she doubted something like that would ever happen to her, even as the last of her people. She had to be realistic.
While she’d been seeing Zack — and she was ready for the little twinge of sadness that came with that; it had grown less painful with time — she’d tried to imagine him as a father once or twice. He would have been good with children, she’d decided, playful as he taught them sports, likely to take them on all sorts of adventures… perhaps more like a big brother than a parent, but maybe helping to raise children of his own would mature him a little. The biggest problem in their relationship had been his job, really. Leaving aside the issues she’d had with ShinRa at the time, Zack’s schedule had changed all the time, and he was often called away on missions at a moment’s notice. And with a SOLDIER for a lover, there was always that faint worry that, as good as he might be, the day would come when he wouldn’t be good enough, when he’d never come home to her again.
Still, Aeris thought she could have been happy with Zack, if things had been different. Even if Elmyra hadn’t, the Voices had cautiously approved, though she occasionally heard them murmur strangely — tainted had been a common theme — when she’d spent time with Zack in the church, and they had never been quite clear on why. They certainly hadn’t said anything like that about Cloud… at least, not until the first time he’d come to the church after he’d become a SOLDIER, when she’d realized that strange hint of difference wasn’t unique to Zack after all, that it had firmly meshed with the familiar feeling of Cloud… probably since the time his eyes had first glowed with Mako.
On the other hand, the Voices had taken to Reeve immediately the first time he set foot in the church, as if they knew his good intentions for Midgar and the Planet — and Elmyra had thoroughly approved of him as well. “He’s dependable,” she said, “not like that wild, rambunctious SOLDIER boy.”
That was part of what had drawn Aeris to Zack, though — that spontaneity, the daring, the live-in-the-moment attitude that was so different from the cautious, careful way of life Elmyra urged her to follow. That and his charismatic personality, flirtatious and flattering… though she had to admit Reeve had an endearing charm of his own, courteous and just a little bit self-effacing, that always brought a smile to her face.
On a whim, she tried to imagine Reeve as a father. He’d be good with children too, she thought, and though he probably wouldn’t be much into the sports thing, he’d still have a lot of fun with them; he had that same sort of mischievous streak Zack did, though he was usually better at hiding it. And he’d make little toys for them with his clever hands, too, teach them to craft things the same way he did, careful and patient.
That patience was one of the things Aeris liked most about Reeve. Zack had sometimes stayed with her while she cared for her garden, but he hadn’t really taken an interest in it, would always grow restless after a while and end up either doing squats or pacing like a caged bandersnatch. Reeve, on the other hand, got right down on his hands and knees beside her to help, asking questions and listening attentively to her answers, and always seemed content to spend the whole day like that.
Aeris smiled to herself. And of course Elmyra would often mention how he was such a gentleman, and had a nice stable job here in the city with regular hours and almost no extended business trips… Her adoptive mother really wasn’t very subtle, was she?
“…Aeris?”
She turned her head at the sound of that familiar voice, startled. “Zack?”
“Hey,” he said, smiling crookedly, hands stuffed in his pockets as he shuffled his feet a short distance away.
Aeris hadn’t seen Zack in anything other than civilian wear before, and to be honest it was jarring, seeing him like this. He looked less like the easygoing, cheerful young man she remembered and more like the paid fighter he was, strong and confident. She had to admit the uniform suited him well, though, the sweater fitting close over well-defined muscles, leaving his arms bare. And that massive slab of metal on his back — that was his sword? The sheer amount of strength it must take to lift that thing, let alone swing it… it gave her a whole new appreciation for just how controlled a SOLDIER had to be with those who weren’t enhanced. And to be honest, it intimidated her a little, this reminder of just how different they really were.
“‘S been a while,” Zack finally ventured, his smile sheepish.
After all this time, that was it? She was suddenly rather peeved. “Only five years, two months,” Aeris said crisply, thrusting her trowel savagely into the transplanted topsoil. “But who’s counting?”
He winced at that. “…yeah,” he allowed, “but… things have been pretty busy, you know?”
“So busy you couldn’t be bothered to give me a call after Hojo left town?” she asked, her voice cool. “Tseng was the one who told me the news, and you? I didn’t hear a single word from you in all the time since then.”
Zack looked hurt. “You know, once you’d found out he was gone you could’ve taken the time to drop me a line, too, you know. Even if you hadn’t wanted to come up topside, calling the operator isn’t that hard, really.” He seemed to be warming to the subject. “Or you could’ve gotten my number from Cloud — I know you two still saw each other, even though you had to dump me for ‘safety reasons’—”
That stung a little, but she brushed it off, interrupting, “You knew I still saw him sometimes, but you couldn’t spare a single day to come down with him to see me? Because you were ‘busy’?”
“Aeris, you have no idea how crazy things were,” he responded heatedly, all hesitation gone. “The President had just died, the Science Department was a giant fucking mess, there were all sorts of issues with the change in power — I had no time.”
“No time, for almost two years?” she retorted. “Bullshit. You had time to go out drinking with Cloud just about every week he was in town, but never to suggest to him ‘gee, why don’t we skip the bar today and go see my girlfriend instead, since it’s only been ages—’”
“And you could’ve just as easily stopped by to see us at the Dragon,” Zack snapped. “But no, you just sat around twiddling your thumbs and waiting instead of, oh, I don’t know, actually coming after the guy you supposedly loved but drove away because he was from ShinRa.” His eyes flashed with anger. “And yet— oh, how ‘bout that, you still managed to regularly see some other ShinRa man without feeling like it was an issue—”
“—and you managed to find enough time to fall for a ShinRa man of your own,” Aeris spat. “How do you think it feels, being left in the lurch for SOLDIER’s own—”
“Don’t say it.” His voice was low and dangerous, and his eyes flickered from side to side uneasily.
“Why not?” she challenged, feeling bold and careless in her ire. “Is it like those old legends about the Lord of Thunder, where I’ll be struck down by vengeance from the heavens if I speak his name three times? Sephiroth.” She drew the name out in a low hiss, and was secretly pleased to see him flinch slightly at that. Feeling guilty, now, was he? Good.
“Aeris—”
“Sephiroth,” she repeated a little louder, crisply and clearly.
Zack took a few steps closer, his eyes narrowing. “Stop it.”
She straightened, taking a deep breath. “Se—”
“Stop it,” he growled in a low voice, gripping her shoulders roughly, startling her into silence. “No one is supposed to know — no one. If anybody—”
“Let. Me. Go.” Here above the Plate, with so much empty space between Aeris and the warm solid comfort of the Planet, that strange little sensation of difference that had always accompanied Zack should have been even weaker than she remembered, almost unnoticeable. But for some reason the feeling was stronger, more potent than it had ever been even in the church, where her senses were sharpest. It made her feel queasy, uncomfortable, wrong, and she instinctively wanted away from it. “Now.”
Zack released her immediately, his expression full of chagrin, clearly concerned. “…Aeris?”
“Don’t come any closer,” she said, wrapping her arms around herself, and it came out more brusque than she intended, but tension headaches like the one this feeling was causing had a tendency to do that to her. “Please.”
Zack flinched a little at that, but he stayed where he was, his hands dropping to his sides. For a moment he looked as if he were about to say something, but then he sighed. “…We’ve really fucked this up, haven’t we?”
Aeris shook her head, a short, sharp laugh escaping her. “You could say that, definitely.”
“Both of us,” he clarified, looking at her steadily.
She bit her lip. She hated to admit it, but… there was definite truth to Zack’s words. They’d both made mistakes when it came to this relationship, let things go unchallenged for too long, and now… “There’s nothing we can do to fix this, is there.”
Zack shuffled his feet awkwardly. “It’s… I mean, I really do care about you, Aer, but—”
“But you care about him more.” Aeris’s tone was surprisingly even, but she couldn’t quite purge that hint of resentment from it.
Zack bristled. “That’s not it,” he said defensively. “It’s just — he hates to be reminded, and won’t ever admit it, but he needs me.”
“And I don’t?”
“Do you, really?” His gaze was serious. “You’ve done so well for yourself — made friends all over the city, gotten yourself a well-paying job you enjoy, found a place in your life that makes you happy — all without me. Se— He… still needs help with that.”
Aeris was silent for a long moment. She wanted to argue the point further, oh yes, but she was still feeling ill, and her instincts urged her to go, to leave for somewhere safe rather than press the issue. And she never doubted her instincts. “…You know,” she finally said, a touch of bitter resignation in her voice as she bent to gather her gardening tools, “you can’t be everything for him.”
Zack smiled crookedly. “Yeah, I know,” he admitted. “We’re working on that, though.” He paused, then added, “Cloud’s really been helping a lot, there.”
She merely nodded, saying nothing as she straightened. Somehow that didn’t surprise her; where Zack went, Cloud almost inevitably followed.
“Well,” he said after a moment, never a fan of awkward silences, “I’ll… see you around then, I guess?”
“Maybe,” Aeris allowed, turning to leave.
“So, uh… bye, for now.” Zack’s voice was a little uncertain.
Aeris’s wasn’t, though it was still hard to read. “Goodbye.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It didn’t take a genius to figure out something had happened with Zack, considering how he was throwing himself into his work now. Cloud abruptly found himself with free time to spare as his friend worked himself to the bone. He hadn’t liked it when it started; he liked it even less after a week. Even more worrisome was Sephiroth’s own concern about the situation, which was clearly obvious in the looks he gave Zack when his aide wasn’t looking — and when the General was that easily readable, you knew there was something seriously wrong.
So finally, Cloud ambushed him.
“Zack,” Cloud said crisply as he walked into the office. Sephiroth was straightening up his desk, readying to leave for the night; Zack, on the other hand, was clearly planning to work for a while yet, despite the fact that quitting time had been forty-five minutes ago. “Put that stuff away. It’s dinner time.”
Zack looked up at him, and shook his head. “Cloud, I—”
“No excuses,” the younger man said firmly. “You made me a promise.”
He blinked in surprise. “I did?”
Cloud nodded. “Absolutely. I’m not allowed to go drinking without you — remember? — and I could use one tonight,” he replied. “Let’s go — Scott told me about a great place in Sector Four.”
Zack looked at the pile of papers on his desk. “I don’t know…”
“There’s nothing that can’t wait until tomorrow, Zack,” Sephiroth interjected. “Take the night off; you’ve been working late too much recently.”
Cloud flashed him a grateful smile and tugged Zack to his feet, taking advantage of the other man’s shock. “Well, you heard the General — let’s go!”
Out of excuses, it wasn’t long before Zack found himself sitting at a table in an outdoor café, eating a dinner he didn’t remember ordering. Cloud kept the conversation light until they got to the end of their meal. “So,” he began, “you finally gonna tell me why you’ve been in such a funk lately?”
Zack sighed and looked away. “Well… I ran into Aeris last week…”
“Ah,” said Cloud delicately. “I take it things didn’t go too well?”
“Understatement of the year,” Zack grumbled. “She accused me of never coming down to see her, I told her she could have contacted me, she said I had enough time if I could spend it with you, I pointed out she dumped me…” He knocked back his drink. “So, here we are again. I feel like we’ve come full circle, both of us having lost love.”
“Not you,” Cloud pointed out.
“True,” Zack admitted, smiling crookedly at the thought of Sephiroth. Everything he had told Aeris about their relationship was true. He only hoped that someday… well. He shook his head free of those thoughts. “In that case, then, we’re obviously going to have to work on you.”
Cloud shook his head. “I think I’ve given up on girlfriends for a while.”
Zack’s voice was teasing. “What about boyfriends, then?”
He shook his head again. “Look, I’d really rather just spend the time hanging out with you and Sephiroth, okay?” The other man smiled warmly at that, and Cloud paused for a second, oddly flustered. He resolutely continued, though, hoping his face didn’t give him away. “Until I get through this officer class stuff, I’m going to be short on time to spend with anyone other than you guys and the girls, anyway.”
Zack nodded, but he had a thoughtful look on his face. “Still, you’ll want somebody eventually.” He leaned back in his seat. “So, assuming you had the time for it, what would you look for in a partner?”
“What are you, a matchmaker?” Cloud asked, rolling his eyes. He took a drink to soothe his suddenly dry throat. “Well… I’d like someone who can keep up with me, who’s smart, who’s strong enough that I don’t have to worry about accidental injury. Someone with a sense of humor.”
Zack’s eyes gleamed with mischief. “Hm, well,” he said thoughtfully, “the strength bit nixes most civilians, and the humor thing eliminates most of the Turks, ‘cept Reno—”
“Don’t even suggest that,” Cloud interrupted, making a face. “Never in a million years.”
The other man blithely continued, “—but there are plenty of SOLDIERS who fit that description.”
“Nobody quite like you,” Cloud said without thinking, and the moment the words left his mouth he felt his face grow hot. Shit.
Zack blinked in surprise, and his eyes flickered away from Cloud’s for a moment. “Well,” he finally said, “that may be true, I guess, but sadly I’m not available.” He gave one of those warm understanding smiles. “But really, if you wanna take a break from the romance thing for a while, well, I can’t blame you.”
“I need to keep an eye on you, anyway,” Cloud pointed out, trying to nudge the conversation in another direction. “Someone’s going to have to force you to eat, and Sephiroth isn’t going to do it.” He dropped some gil on the table and rose.
Zack did likewise. “Oh, goody,” he said sardonically. “A babysitter — just what I need.”
Cloud smirked. “Yup. And it’s bedtime now. Come on, little Zachary.”
“…Little?”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Zack didn’t give up his hectic work schedule, but he did allow Cloud to drag him out for the occasional breath of fresh air and ate the food he brought. The younger SOLDIER didn’t bring up his little comment from that dinner outing again, and pretty much continued to act as if he hadn’t said anything, but that didn’t stop Zack from wondering. And if it hadn’t been for Sephiroth — well, he would have been sorely tempted to investigate if that slip-up didn’t mean something more than friendly admiration.
He looked up in surprise when Cloud walked into the office, momentarily abandoning the paperwork he had been plowing through at a surprisingly steady pace, if absently. “Hey, what’s up?”
“It’s Thursday, remember? Lunch date.” Cloud pulled out a bag from their favorite sandwich shop.
“Oops. Forgot.” He rearranged the paperwork so he could make some room for his food. “Seph, Cloud’s here with lunch!”
Sephiroth opened his door — Zack caught Cloud’s upraised eyebrows at that, but didn’t have the heart to tell his friend that their superior had isolated himself today to avoid today’s bout of moodiness — and came into the outer part of the office, settling into his usual seat. The three of them ate in relative peace until Cloud, finishing his sandwich, finally gave Zack an exasperated look. “Zack, this has to stop. Really. You need a vacation or something, a chance to get out of Midgar and clear your head.”
The dark-haired man shook his head. “I’m fine.” He stuffed the last of his own sandwich into his mouth before turning back to his work, thus missing the flash of irritation on Cloud’s face.
“Fine, then. Be that way.” Cloud rose. “Sephiroth, I do have some paperwork for you …”
Sephiroth nodded, returning to his own office; Cloud followed, kicking the door shut behind him. “No improvement at all?”
“He’s eating, at least,” the General replied. “However…”
“He’s still working himself to an early grave.” Cloud growled. “Fine. I was hoping he’d be sensible, but by Odin, I’ll get him out of this city one way or another.”
“I can’t guarantee a mission for Zack that will take him out of the city for any prolonged amount of time,” the pale-haired man pointed out.
“I understand that,” Cloud conceded, “but when was the last time he took leave? And I mean real leave,” he added, “not the couple days off everyone gets between Midwinter and New Year or the two or three personal days he takes every so often and spends just hanging around the compound.”
Sephiroth’s face went blank. “…I can’t accurately recall. Certainly before you joined the program.”
“Right.” Cloud nodded decisively, looking pleased with himself. “So I fill out a request for leave and get him to sign it. Shouldn’t be hard if we just shove it in with his regular paperwork.”
“He’ll undoubtedly be angry with you,” Sephiroth cautioned even as he handed over the form.
Cloud shrugged. “Yeah, well, all the better. He needs to get his mind off of Aeris for a while, and if being angry does it, I’ll just have to be ready to handle that when it comes up.” He started filling in the appropriate fields. “I’ll be the bad Turk, and you can be the good Turk.”
“Somehow I don’t think that’s quite how it works.” Still, a touch of a smile graced Sephiroth’s lips at that. “I’m not sure there are ‘good Turks.’”
“Not by most people’s standards, anyway,” Cloud agreed with a grin. He quickly finished the form, and then returned it to Sephiroth.
Sephiroth looked it over. “Even with my signature, this won’t be active if Zack doesn’t sign it as well, unless we get a medical override.”
“Leave that to me.” Cloud snatched a highlighter from Sephiroth’s desk and marked the signature line after Sephiroth filled out the appropriate portions of the form relevant to superior officer. He smirked, smoothing out the paper as best he could. “I learned how to manipulate from the best — Zack should know better by now.” He left Sephiroth’s office, dropping the form into “in” tray on Zack’s desk as he passed by. “See you later?”
“Sure,” the other man replied absently, still working on a thick report.
It was four days later when Zack came hunting down Cloud’s head.
“Cloud!” he yelled across the main gym, stalking over to where the younger man was doing stretches. “Why the hell do I have leave for four weeks, with my intended destination being Gongaga, of all places? Particularly when I did not fill out the form?”
Cloud met the raging SOLDIER’s eyes with a perfectly calm expression, causing Zack’s ire to deepen further. “There’s nothing wrong with having someone else fill out the form as long as the signature is accurate.”
Zack glared. “That was a nasty trick, putting it in with the rest of my paperwork.”
Cloud didn’t react to that, folding his arms over his chest. “When was the last time you had leave, Zack?”
He paused, caught off guard by the comment, then shook his head. “It was more recent than Seph’s,” he said defensively.
The Second Class rolled his eyes. “Right. Completely different situation. When was the last time you went home, anyway?”
“Oh, sure,” Zack snapped, “throw that in my face, Mr. Only Goes Home on Missions.’”
“Yeah, but I write Mom regularly,” Cloud countered, a hint of irritation creeping into his voice.
“I write!” the other SOLDIER protested.
“When was the last time you did, then?”
Zack actually had to stop and think about that one, which pretty much answered Cloud’s question. He silently grimaced when he realized it had been back when he and Aeris had first gotten together — over six years ago, now.
The blond glared at his friend, stubborn determination in his eyes. “Zack,” he began, interrupting the other’s thoughts, “you’re nowhere near in the condition you should be right now. Sephiroth agrees. Either you take the leave, rest, and pull yourself back together… or you’re headed over to the medical wing. Arthur and Morgan have already said you more than meet the qualifications for supervised medical leave. You have to get your head back on straight, and time alone doesn’t seem to be helping.”
Zack paled. He knew what supervised medical leave meant, and the idea wasn’t appealing in the least. He looked apprehensively at Cloud for a long moment, then sighed. “You’re not joking, are you?”
“No.”
“Can’t it be someplace other than Gongaga?” the older man begged. “There’s nothing to do there!”
“All the better, so you really can get some rest,” Cloud told him, clearly unsympathetic. “Besides, with travel time factored in, you’ll only be there about two weeks, anyway. Enjoy the rest and relaxation.” He looked awfully smug about the whole thing.
“Rest and relaxation?” Zack snorted, silently vowing revenge. He hated getting manipulated, even by — especially by — his best friend. “If I’m howling, barking mad by the time I come back, Cloud, it’ll be all your fault. I left that place and haven’t been back for a reason, you know.”
“Don’t worry,” Cloud assured him, still annoyingly self-satisfied. “I’m sure we’ll be able to fix you up if you need it.”
Zack sighed. “Don’t think you’re getting off this easy — I’m still mad at you, just so you know. And I’m only not fighting this because I really don’t want the specialists after me.”
“Be mad all you want, Zack. Just… get better.” Cloud clapped his friend on the shoulder. “Better go pack.”
At least Zack could honestly admit that he didn’t stomp on the way back to his quarters… though it certainly wasn’t like he wasn’t tempted.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Tifa sighed as she put the groceries down for a minute, massaging her fingers. While she certainly was in better shape than many shoppers, her fingers still needed circulation, and the handles of the plastic bags had an annoying tendency to cut that off. Looking up, she spotted a familiar figure. “Cloud! Over here!”
The SOLDIER grinned as he headed over. “Tifa! What’s going on?”
“Just doing some shopping. Elmyra’s feeling a bit off-kilter, so I told her I’d get food for the week. Give me a hand?” He nodded, and she passed him a couple of the bags. “Actually,” she begain as they started walking, “I’m glad to see you. Been meaning to talk to you for weeks. Did you hear what Zack did to Aeris? I think we should go beat him up.”
“What Zack did to Aeris?” Cloud echoed, a sharp frown on his face. “Ohhh no. Zack’s hardly the only one at fault here. Aeris never asked me to talk to him, or give him a message or anything, not even once. You didn’t know Zack when they first split up, but he was completely heartbroken.”
Tifa glared. “So what, Aeris just deserved that?”
“I didn’t say that,” Cloud retorted. “But she can’t pretend none of it was her fault.”
Tifa sighed. “…Look, let’s drop this, okay? I don’t want to fight with you about this.”
“Yeah, okay.” The pair walked in silence for a while, until Cloud asked softly, “So… how is she?”
“Still angry, but… well, I think she’s getting over it.” Tifa chewed on her lip. “It seems like she’s been kinda torn between Zack and Reeve for a while, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s at least a little relieved about this whole thing. I don’t think she wanted to even consider letting herself get too attached to someone else if Zack was still interested, but…”
“Reeve?” Cloud asked.
“Head of Urban Development,” Tifa elaborated. “Also in charge of the MMG Project, so he’s been seeing Aeris pretty regularly, even before he started showing interest in her.”
“He’s really serious about her?”
“Well… he told me so when I asked, yes,” she said, somewhat evasively.
Cloud smiled at that. Tifa suspected she knew what he was thinking, with ‘asked’ being more akin to ‘confronted and threatened with bodily harm unless he proved he had good intentions.’ And honestly… he wouldn’t be too far from the truth. “In any case,” the SOLDIER said after a moment, “Zack’s on leave to go back home, so it’ll be at least four weeks before they run into each other again.”
“Hopefully she’ll have gotten over it by then.” Tifa sighed. “Our little ‘family’ is pretty messed up, isn’t it? Zack’s like a brother to you, had a bad breakup with the woman who’s like a sister to us both—”
Cloud “hmm”ed a little at that. “Wouldn’t that make them related, too?”
“Oh, hush. You know what I mean,” Tifa grumbled, putting her bags down to unlock the door. “Actually,” she began, a little hesitant, “that brings me to something I’ve been thinking about for a while…”
“Yeah?” Cloud scooped up her bags and walking to the kitchen, putting the bags on the counter.
“You remember a couple weeks ago I told you that I didn’t know what I wanted?” Cloud nodded, and much to Tifa’s relief, that flash of hurt on his face was nowhere in evidence. It seemed that the wounds from their breakup had healed for him, too. “Well, I think I know now.” She took a deep breath. “I was wondering if you’d be my oath-sib.”
Cloud stared at her, shocked; Tifa wasn’t completely surprised. The tradition of oath-kin was a very old one in the Nibel mountains, used in much the same manner as marriage to formalize the bond between close families or as a peacemaking measure between feuding ones. It was never lightly offered; oath-kin were, under the law, equal to blood-kin, and divine retribution was promised against those who abused the oath.
As the silence dragged on, Tifa found herself fidgeting. “I don’t really have any family left, you know,” she babbled, “and I’d really like to have someone I can depend on. Your mom’s a great person, and the two of us make a really good team—”
Cloud shook himself. “Sorry. You just surprised me, is all,” he confessed. “But… I’d be honored.”
Tifa’s smile was brilliant. “Do you mind if we use one of your knives, then? I don’t think I have anything really sterile around here.” Cloud pulled out one of his blades, purified it with a quick Fire spell, and offered it to her. “Then, in ancient Nibel tradition…” She took the knife and made a shallow cut on her right palm before returning it to Cloud, who did likewise. She grasped his hand in her own. “Blood mixed, kin eternal.”
“Let there be no difference between thy house and mine, lest the gods strike us down,” Cloud finished, then tapped into his Restore to heal the cuts to thin, pale scars. They both stared at them for a long moment. “So,” he said finally, “does this give me rights to beat up anyone bothering you?”
“Only if I get the same,” Tifa returned, grinning.
“Deal,” he declared, returning her grin… but a glance at the clock made him sigh. “Much as I’d love to hang around, I gotta go. Promised Sephiroth I’d run something over to Sector Three.” He paused. “…Take care of Aeris for me? I have a feeling she won’t want to see me for a while.”
“I will. And I’ll call you when it looks like you can come around again,” Tifa promised. She hesitated for a moment. “…Isn’t it a bit weird that you do so much for the General directly? I mean, you’re only Second Class, but you’re practically his right-hand man.”
“No,” Cloud corrected, “Zack’s his right-hand man.” He paused. “…I guess it is kinda weird, though. Never really thought about it before.” He shrugged, heading out the door. “See you around, Tifa.”
“Definitely.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
When she wanted to think, Aeris went to the church. She’d been doing a lot of that lately, Tifa knew, so she wasn’t particularly surprised to find her friend lying sprawled among the flowers in front of the altar, staring up at the hole in the dilapidated roof, which allowed in that inexplicable sunlight that nurtured these blooms.
“Hello, Tifa,” Aeris said absently, not even looking at her.
Tifa shook her head; she’d never get used to how the other woman always knew who it was. “Hey.” She walked up the aisle, pausing at the edge of the flowerbed. “Um, is it all right if I join you?”
There was a moment of silence, and then Aeris nodded. “They don’t mind. Just try not to hurt too many of ‘em.”
She meant the flowers, Tifa knew, as strange as it sounded, and so she nodded, carefully lying down among them. As peaceful as the church was, that serenity increased tenfold like this, surrounded by green and growing things, the warm earth at her back and the sunlight on her face. No wonder Aeris came here so often.
But Tifa wasn’t here to enjoy the calm of the church, and so after a few minutes she ventured, “I ran into Cloud today.”
“Oh,” said Aeris, her voice neutral.
“He said Zack’s going to be out of the city for about a month,” Tifa explained quietly. “He also hoped you were feeling okay.”
“Cloud’s sweet that way.” Aeris laughed, the sound almost harsh. “I wish some days I could have given him what he wanted. He’s loyal to the bone.”
“…you wanna talk about it?” Tifa ventured, turning her head to look at the other woman.
“We both said a lot of things I think we’ll end up regretting,” Aeris confessed. “I know I do.” She sighed. “Things really can change a lot in five years…”
Tifa waited.
“So that’s the end of it,” she concluded, voice definitely bitter now. “He gets General Sephiroth, and I’m left kicking myself for not going after him right after I found out Hojo ran off.
Tifa moved her hand to take Aeris’s, squeezing it comfortingly. “I’m sure there’s someone else out there who’d care for you,” she reassured her.
“You’re not going to start acting like Mom, dropping unsubtle hints about how wonderful Reeve is, are you?” Aeris sounded almost amused.
Tifa couldn’t help laughing at that. “He’s a nice guy, and he certainly likes you,” she pointed out. “But… well, it’s your life; you should do what you want to do with it.”
“…Thanks, Tifa.”
She smiled. “No problem.”
They lay there in silence for a time, simply enjoying the peace of the church, until Tifa spoke up absently. “You know, it seems like everyone’s always so focused on finding that special someone.”
“A lot of people are,” Aeris pointed out. “It makes people happy to have someone to share their life with.”
Tifa made a noncommittal noise at that. “It just makes me feel weird sometimes, ‘cause I’m really not ready to settle down yet. There’s so much of the world I still want to see, and once I become a master… well, as neat as it probably is to wander the world like Master Zangan, I’d really like to open my own school somewhere.” She shrugged. “And… I don’t know. It just feels like having a family would get in the way of that. The traveling thing, at least.”
“Nobody ever said you had to have children, though,” Aeris said reasonably. “And hey, you never know — you might fall in love with someone who’d be willing to travel with you.”
“Maybe,” Tifa allowed. The very idea of getting married but not having children was unheard of in Nibelheim, but… “There’s no real point in worrying about that till it happens, though. For now, I’m just glad I have such good friends.”
Aeris squeezed her hand, and Tifa could hear the smile in her voice. “So am I.”
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Genre: General/Drama
Pairings: ZackxSeph, Assorted Past
Rating (Overall): PG-13
Warnings: Nothing much, this chapter.
Summary: “I take it things didn’t go too well?”
Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII and all associated characters and symbols are the exclusive property of Square Enix and its associates. We’re just borrowing them for a while.
Chapter 36
Vincent nodded thoughtfully as he took the folder from Tseng. “I’ll look into it. I can’t guarantee anything…”
“A new set of eyes may be all we need,” Tseng replied. “Thank you, Vincent.”
“Of course,” he replied with a nod. “—Oh, don’t hit Cloud on your way out.”
“Hit… Strife?” Tseng looked at the former Turk with a raised eyebrow.
“He’s lurking outside the door. Again.” Vincent couldn’t help finding it rather amusing that the Turk Leader hadn’t noticed his student’s shadowing. Cloud had been keeping a rather close eye on him in the last few weeks. “In fact, send him in when you leave.”
Cloud didn’t even have the decency to look the slightest bit ashamed as he walked into the room after Tseng had gestured him inside. Undoubtedly more of Sinclair’s bad influence. “Cloud, this has to stop,” Vincent admonished. “I’m not going to vanish on you.”
Cloud paused. He actually hadn’t been around keeping an eye on Vincent this time — well, not exactly, anyway; he’d really wanted to talk to someone about his guilt over letting the Zack and Sephiroth thing slip. But since Vincent had brought it up…
“Could’ve fooled me,” he said, a bit of an edge to his voice. “Vincent, you’re practically acting like a full-time Turk without a paycheck. I mean, you’ve helped them with scouting missions, hacking… the Turk Leader comes to you when he can’t get anywhere. I thought you didn’t want to rejoin ShinRa.”
“The skills I have are… not really suited for work of any other sort.” Vincent took a seat and gestured for his student to do the same. “Nothing legal, in any case.” The SOLDIER gave him a look — the Turks were barely legal anyway. “Contrary to what you might believe, Cloud, I hardly enjoyed being locked up in Sephiroth’s quarters with only a computer to interact with.” The blond winced. “The Turks… there are very few people who understand us who are not one of us themselves.”
Cloud’s shoulders slumped. “And I haven’t been paying much attention to you at all, either…”
Vincent shook his head. “You’ve learned all I want teach you, and that’s not a bad thing. That which is left… you’re better off not knowing.” There were some things he would never tell Cloud, who despite all he had seen still retained some of the optimism that all Turks lost.
“I know, and I really am grateful for all you’ve taught me, but…” Cloud sighed. “I feel like I’m abandoning you. Just because I’m a SOLDIER doesn’t—”
“There are things you’ll experience that only another SOLDIER can understand,” Vincent interrupted. “While you have friends outside of your profession, they will never see the world in the same way as you do, quite literally. So it is within the Turks.”
“But they can’t really understand everything about you,” Cloud objected. “Not…” He made a motion towards his eyes.
“No,” Vincent admitted. Cloud understood better than the Turks how… altered he was, though Cloud was different in the sense his own enhancements had been undertaken voluntarily and were far less extreme. If anyone could truly sympathize with him on that point, it would be—
“Have you ever talked to Sephiroth about that?” the SOLDIER asked, guessing the direction of his mentor’s thoughts.
“Not in any particular detail.”
Cloud frowned, not satisfied with this answer. “He has a right to know.”
“He hasn’t asked.” Those had not been the most pleasant years of his life. If Vincent had any say in the matter, he wouldn’t revisit them anytime soon… though he did feel he owed Sephiroth some explanation for not stopping his mother or the one who called himself the General’s father.
Cloud sighed a little at that, turning to go. “Just… don’t take forever, okay? You never know what might happen.”
Vincent raised an eyebrow. “Ominous predictions are unlike you, Cloud.”
“Who says it has anything to do with a prediction?” he countered. “I know the life expectancy of Turks better than most. Just remember it yourself.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“Hello there,” Aeris said pleasantly, sitting back on her heels and smiling at the little girl who stood a few feet away, watching her work in the flower beds in front of the ShinRa Building.
The girl, dark-haired and pale-skinned, ducked her head and didn’t say anything, scooting a little closer to the woman she stood waiting with, presumably a caretaker of some sort… though she peeked sidelong at Aeris when she thought the young woman wasn’t looking.
Aeris smiled to herself at that, but went about her work anyway, pretending not to notice as the girl snuck a little farther away from her caretaker, touching the flowers with gentle hands and an awed expression on her face.
“Do you like them?”
The girl gave her a startled look, but nodded shyly, not backing away this time. Aeris smiled again. “Which ones are your favorite?”
The child paused at that, then after a moment pointed to the pansies just to Aeris’s right. Humming softly, the young woman carefully plucked one and held it out to the girl. “Here, this is for you.”
The little girl hesitated, but after a moment she took it, holding it close, brushing the soft petals with her fingers. Smile widening, the brunette said to her, “I’m Aeris. What’s your name?”
The child fidgeted for a moment, then raised her chin a little and said, “Daddy says I’m not s’posed to talk to strangers.”
Aeris nodded. “My mama used to tell me the same thing when I was little.”
The girl said nothing for a while, watching Aeris work. “I don’t remember my mama,” she finally mumbled, her voice a little sad, as the young woman handed her a daffodil.
Aeris gave her a wistful smile. “I don’t remember my daddy, myself,” she told her. “Mama told me he died when I was just a baby.”
The little girl nodded. “Daddy said the same thing about Mama when—”
“Marlene!”
“Daddy!” the little girl cried, running over to the largest man Aeris had ever seen, who swept her up into his arms as if she weighed nothing at all, giving her a kiss.
“How’s my baby girl?”
“Good,” Marlene assured him, brandishing the flowers she held. “I made a new friend, and she gave me these.” Shifting a little, she turned back to Aeris. “Miss Aeris, say hi to Daddy— please,” she added as an afterthought, looking to her father for approval.
The man nodded, though his gaze was focused on Aeris, cautious. The young woman smiled her most genuine smile and held out her hand. “I’m Aeris Gainsborough.”
“Wallace,” the man said gruffly as he shifted Marlene to cradle her with his left arm and shook Aeris’s hand, his massive palm dwarfing hers, cool and smooth and clearly not flesh and blood. “Barret Wallace.”
The name sounded familiar somehow, and though she wondered what had happened to him that he needed an artificial arm, Aeris didn’t ask. “You have a lovely daughter, Mr. Wallace,” she said politely, truthfully, and the man’s gaze softened slightly.
“Yeah, I do,” he said as he looked at her, a little smile on his lips as he tucked one of the flowers behind her ear, causing Marlene to beam happily at him.
Aeris smiled. Though the marked contrast between the two of them made them seem an unlikely pair — was Marlene adopted, as she had been? — it was clear they cared deeply for each other.
“You grow these flowers?”
Aeris shook herself out of her thoughts, nodding. “It’s hard sometimes, with the smog still as thick as it is here above the Plate, but yes. I’ve done work with gardens like this all over Midgar. It’s part of the Make Midgar Greener Project—”
“So you work for those fu—” Barret stopped, corrected himself “—for ShinRa, then.” There was just the slightest edge to his voice, and Marlene gave him a worried look.
“Well… yes.” Aeris smiled a little crookedly. “I didn’t want to at first, considering… some of the things they’ve done,” she said carefully, and the man’s grim expression at that confirmed he too had suffered at ShinRa’s hand. “But talking to Reeve and hearing about how Dr. Matheson wants to make things better, to stop using Mako power… I knew they were trying to do the right thing, and I wanted to help them with that.”
A noncommittal grunt was the only response Barret gave her, the expression on his face pensive until Marlene fidgeted impatiently in his arms. “Good luck,” was all he said then, lifting his daughter up and settling her on his shoulders, much to her obvious joy. Without another word he turned and walked off, the caretaker and a tough-looking fellow in a SOLDIER uniform following at a short distance.
That was when it clicked — she’d heard about the leader of the AVALANCHE terrorists, Barret Wallace, and how he had a child whom he was only allowed to see on supervised visits once a week. Aeris’s heart ached to think about it — her own dim memories of long periods of separation from her mother weren’t pleasant. Though she understood this was punishment for a man whose actions had killed over two dozen people all told, she wished they could have somehow chosen a sentence that didn’t punish his daughter too. No family deserved to be separated like that.
When I have children of my own…
She shook her head at that as she went back to work, chuckling. If she were ever to have children, she’d have to find a father for them first. That ancient Cetra legend about the maiden who had conceived by the will of Gaea alone and borne a child who became one of the strongest mage-healers the Planet had ever seen was all very nice, but she doubted something like that would ever happen to her, even as the last of her people. She had to be realistic.
While she’d been seeing Zack — and she was ready for the little twinge of sadness that came with that; it had grown less painful with time — she’d tried to imagine him as a father once or twice. He would have been good with children, she’d decided, playful as he taught them sports, likely to take them on all sorts of adventures… perhaps more like a big brother than a parent, but maybe helping to raise children of his own would mature him a little. The biggest problem in their relationship had been his job, really. Leaving aside the issues she’d had with ShinRa at the time, Zack’s schedule had changed all the time, and he was often called away on missions at a moment’s notice. And with a SOLDIER for a lover, there was always that faint worry that, as good as he might be, the day would come when he wouldn’t be good enough, when he’d never come home to her again.
Still, Aeris thought she could have been happy with Zack, if things had been different. Even if Elmyra hadn’t, the Voices had cautiously approved, though she occasionally heard them murmur strangely — tainted had been a common theme — when she’d spent time with Zack in the church, and they had never been quite clear on why. They certainly hadn’t said anything like that about Cloud… at least, not until the first time he’d come to the church after he’d become a SOLDIER, when she’d realized that strange hint of difference wasn’t unique to Zack after all, that it had firmly meshed with the familiar feeling of Cloud… probably since the time his eyes had first glowed with Mako.
On the other hand, the Voices had taken to Reeve immediately the first time he set foot in the church, as if they knew his good intentions for Midgar and the Planet — and Elmyra had thoroughly approved of him as well. “He’s dependable,” she said, “not like that wild, rambunctious SOLDIER boy.”
That was part of what had drawn Aeris to Zack, though — that spontaneity, the daring, the live-in-the-moment attitude that was so different from the cautious, careful way of life Elmyra urged her to follow. That and his charismatic personality, flirtatious and flattering… though she had to admit Reeve had an endearing charm of his own, courteous and just a little bit self-effacing, that always brought a smile to her face.
On a whim, she tried to imagine Reeve as a father. He’d be good with children too, she thought, and though he probably wouldn’t be much into the sports thing, he’d still have a lot of fun with them; he had that same sort of mischievous streak Zack did, though he was usually better at hiding it. And he’d make little toys for them with his clever hands, too, teach them to craft things the same way he did, careful and patient.
That patience was one of the things Aeris liked most about Reeve. Zack had sometimes stayed with her while she cared for her garden, but he hadn’t really taken an interest in it, would always grow restless after a while and end up either doing squats or pacing like a caged bandersnatch. Reeve, on the other hand, got right down on his hands and knees beside her to help, asking questions and listening attentively to her answers, and always seemed content to spend the whole day like that.
Aeris smiled to herself. And of course Elmyra would often mention how he was such a gentleman, and had a nice stable job here in the city with regular hours and almost no extended business trips… Her adoptive mother really wasn’t very subtle, was she?
“…Aeris?”
She turned her head at the sound of that familiar voice, startled. “Zack?”
“Hey,” he said, smiling crookedly, hands stuffed in his pockets as he shuffled his feet a short distance away.
Aeris hadn’t seen Zack in anything other than civilian wear before, and to be honest it was jarring, seeing him like this. He looked less like the easygoing, cheerful young man she remembered and more like the paid fighter he was, strong and confident. She had to admit the uniform suited him well, though, the sweater fitting close over well-defined muscles, leaving his arms bare. And that massive slab of metal on his back — that was his sword? The sheer amount of strength it must take to lift that thing, let alone swing it… it gave her a whole new appreciation for just how controlled a SOLDIER had to be with those who weren’t enhanced. And to be honest, it intimidated her a little, this reminder of just how different they really were.
“‘S been a while,” Zack finally ventured, his smile sheepish.
After all this time, that was it? She was suddenly rather peeved. “Only five years, two months,” Aeris said crisply, thrusting her trowel savagely into the transplanted topsoil. “But who’s counting?”
He winced at that. “…yeah,” he allowed, “but… things have been pretty busy, you know?”
“So busy you couldn’t be bothered to give me a call after Hojo left town?” she asked, her voice cool. “Tseng was the one who told me the news, and you? I didn’t hear a single word from you in all the time since then.”
Zack looked hurt. “You know, once you’d found out he was gone you could’ve taken the time to drop me a line, too, you know. Even if you hadn’t wanted to come up topside, calling the operator isn’t that hard, really.” He seemed to be warming to the subject. “Or you could’ve gotten my number from Cloud — I know you two still saw each other, even though you had to dump me for ‘safety reasons’—”
That stung a little, but she brushed it off, interrupting, “You knew I still saw him sometimes, but you couldn’t spare a single day to come down with him to see me? Because you were ‘busy’?”
“Aeris, you have no idea how crazy things were,” he responded heatedly, all hesitation gone. “The President had just died, the Science Department was a giant fucking mess, there were all sorts of issues with the change in power — I had no time.”
“No time, for almost two years?” she retorted. “Bullshit. You had time to go out drinking with Cloud just about every week he was in town, but never to suggest to him ‘gee, why don’t we skip the bar today and go see my girlfriend instead, since it’s only been ages—’”
“And you could’ve just as easily stopped by to see us at the Dragon,” Zack snapped. “But no, you just sat around twiddling your thumbs and waiting instead of, oh, I don’t know, actually coming after the guy you supposedly loved but drove away because he was from ShinRa.” His eyes flashed with anger. “And yet— oh, how ‘bout that, you still managed to regularly see some other ShinRa man without feeling like it was an issue—”
“—and you managed to find enough time to fall for a ShinRa man of your own,” Aeris spat. “How do you think it feels, being left in the lurch for SOLDIER’s own—”
“Don’t say it.” His voice was low and dangerous, and his eyes flickered from side to side uneasily.
“Why not?” she challenged, feeling bold and careless in her ire. “Is it like those old legends about the Lord of Thunder, where I’ll be struck down by vengeance from the heavens if I speak his name three times? Sephiroth.” She drew the name out in a low hiss, and was secretly pleased to see him flinch slightly at that. Feeling guilty, now, was he? Good.
“Aeris—”
“Sephiroth,” she repeated a little louder, crisply and clearly.
Zack took a few steps closer, his eyes narrowing. “Stop it.”
She straightened, taking a deep breath. “Se—”
“Stop it,” he growled in a low voice, gripping her shoulders roughly, startling her into silence. “No one is supposed to know — no one. If anybody—”
“Let. Me. Go.” Here above the Plate, with so much empty space between Aeris and the warm solid comfort of the Planet, that strange little sensation of difference that had always accompanied Zack should have been even weaker than she remembered, almost unnoticeable. But for some reason the feeling was stronger, more potent than it had ever been even in the church, where her senses were sharpest. It made her feel queasy, uncomfortable, wrong, and she instinctively wanted away from it. “Now.”
Zack released her immediately, his expression full of chagrin, clearly concerned. “…Aeris?”
“Don’t come any closer,” she said, wrapping her arms around herself, and it came out more brusque than she intended, but tension headaches like the one this feeling was causing had a tendency to do that to her. “Please.”
Zack flinched a little at that, but he stayed where he was, his hands dropping to his sides. For a moment he looked as if he were about to say something, but then he sighed. “…We’ve really fucked this up, haven’t we?”
Aeris shook her head, a short, sharp laugh escaping her. “You could say that, definitely.”
“Both of us,” he clarified, looking at her steadily.
She bit her lip. She hated to admit it, but… there was definite truth to Zack’s words. They’d both made mistakes when it came to this relationship, let things go unchallenged for too long, and now… “There’s nothing we can do to fix this, is there.”
Zack shuffled his feet awkwardly. “It’s… I mean, I really do care about you, Aer, but—”
“But you care about him more.” Aeris’s tone was surprisingly even, but she couldn’t quite purge that hint of resentment from it.
Zack bristled. “That’s not it,” he said defensively. “It’s just — he hates to be reminded, and won’t ever admit it, but he needs me.”
“And I don’t?”
“Do you, really?” His gaze was serious. “You’ve done so well for yourself — made friends all over the city, gotten yourself a well-paying job you enjoy, found a place in your life that makes you happy — all without me. Se— He… still needs help with that.”
Aeris was silent for a long moment. She wanted to argue the point further, oh yes, but she was still feeling ill, and her instincts urged her to go, to leave for somewhere safe rather than press the issue. And she never doubted her instincts. “…You know,” she finally said, a touch of bitter resignation in her voice as she bent to gather her gardening tools, “you can’t be everything for him.”
Zack smiled crookedly. “Yeah, I know,” he admitted. “We’re working on that, though.” He paused, then added, “Cloud’s really been helping a lot, there.”
She merely nodded, saying nothing as she straightened. Somehow that didn’t surprise her; where Zack went, Cloud almost inevitably followed.
“Well,” he said after a moment, never a fan of awkward silences, “I’ll… see you around then, I guess?”
“Maybe,” Aeris allowed, turning to leave.
“So, uh… bye, for now.” Zack’s voice was a little uncertain.
Aeris’s wasn’t, though it was still hard to read. “Goodbye.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It didn’t take a genius to figure out something had happened with Zack, considering how he was throwing himself into his work now. Cloud abruptly found himself with free time to spare as his friend worked himself to the bone. He hadn’t liked it when it started; he liked it even less after a week. Even more worrisome was Sephiroth’s own concern about the situation, which was clearly obvious in the looks he gave Zack when his aide wasn’t looking — and when the General was that easily readable, you knew there was something seriously wrong.
So finally, Cloud ambushed him.
“Zack,” Cloud said crisply as he walked into the office. Sephiroth was straightening up his desk, readying to leave for the night; Zack, on the other hand, was clearly planning to work for a while yet, despite the fact that quitting time had been forty-five minutes ago. “Put that stuff away. It’s dinner time.”
Zack looked up at him, and shook his head. “Cloud, I—”
“No excuses,” the younger man said firmly. “You made me a promise.”
He blinked in surprise. “I did?”
Cloud nodded. “Absolutely. I’m not allowed to go drinking without you — remember? — and I could use one tonight,” he replied. “Let’s go — Scott told me about a great place in Sector Four.”
Zack looked at the pile of papers on his desk. “I don’t know…”
“There’s nothing that can’t wait until tomorrow, Zack,” Sephiroth interjected. “Take the night off; you’ve been working late too much recently.”
Cloud flashed him a grateful smile and tugged Zack to his feet, taking advantage of the other man’s shock. “Well, you heard the General — let’s go!”
Out of excuses, it wasn’t long before Zack found himself sitting at a table in an outdoor café, eating a dinner he didn’t remember ordering. Cloud kept the conversation light until they got to the end of their meal. “So,” he began, “you finally gonna tell me why you’ve been in such a funk lately?”
Zack sighed and looked away. “Well… I ran into Aeris last week…”
“Ah,” said Cloud delicately. “I take it things didn’t go too well?”
“Understatement of the year,” Zack grumbled. “She accused me of never coming down to see her, I told her she could have contacted me, she said I had enough time if I could spend it with you, I pointed out she dumped me…” He knocked back his drink. “So, here we are again. I feel like we’ve come full circle, both of us having lost love.”
“Not you,” Cloud pointed out.
“True,” Zack admitted, smiling crookedly at the thought of Sephiroth. Everything he had told Aeris about their relationship was true. He only hoped that someday… well. He shook his head free of those thoughts. “In that case, then, we’re obviously going to have to work on you.”
Cloud shook his head. “I think I’ve given up on girlfriends for a while.”
Zack’s voice was teasing. “What about boyfriends, then?”
He shook his head again. “Look, I’d really rather just spend the time hanging out with you and Sephiroth, okay?” The other man smiled warmly at that, and Cloud paused for a second, oddly flustered. He resolutely continued, though, hoping his face didn’t give him away. “Until I get through this officer class stuff, I’m going to be short on time to spend with anyone other than you guys and the girls, anyway.”
Zack nodded, but he had a thoughtful look on his face. “Still, you’ll want somebody eventually.” He leaned back in his seat. “So, assuming you had the time for it, what would you look for in a partner?”
“What are you, a matchmaker?” Cloud asked, rolling his eyes. He took a drink to soothe his suddenly dry throat. “Well… I’d like someone who can keep up with me, who’s smart, who’s strong enough that I don’t have to worry about accidental injury. Someone with a sense of humor.”
Zack’s eyes gleamed with mischief. “Hm, well,” he said thoughtfully, “the strength bit nixes most civilians, and the humor thing eliminates most of the Turks, ‘cept Reno—”
“Don’t even suggest that,” Cloud interrupted, making a face. “Never in a million years.”
The other man blithely continued, “—but there are plenty of SOLDIERS who fit that description.”
“Nobody quite like you,” Cloud said without thinking, and the moment the words left his mouth he felt his face grow hot. Shit.
Zack blinked in surprise, and his eyes flickered away from Cloud’s for a moment. “Well,” he finally said, “that may be true, I guess, but sadly I’m not available.” He gave one of those warm understanding smiles. “But really, if you wanna take a break from the romance thing for a while, well, I can’t blame you.”
“I need to keep an eye on you, anyway,” Cloud pointed out, trying to nudge the conversation in another direction. “Someone’s going to have to force you to eat, and Sephiroth isn’t going to do it.” He dropped some gil on the table and rose.
Zack did likewise. “Oh, goody,” he said sardonically. “A babysitter — just what I need.”
Cloud smirked. “Yup. And it’s bedtime now. Come on, little Zachary.”
“…Little?”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Zack didn’t give up his hectic work schedule, but he did allow Cloud to drag him out for the occasional breath of fresh air and ate the food he brought. The younger SOLDIER didn’t bring up his little comment from that dinner outing again, and pretty much continued to act as if he hadn’t said anything, but that didn’t stop Zack from wondering. And if it hadn’t been for Sephiroth — well, he would have been sorely tempted to investigate if that slip-up didn’t mean something more than friendly admiration.
He looked up in surprise when Cloud walked into the office, momentarily abandoning the paperwork he had been plowing through at a surprisingly steady pace, if absently. “Hey, what’s up?”
“It’s Thursday, remember? Lunch date.” Cloud pulled out a bag from their favorite sandwich shop.
“Oops. Forgot.” He rearranged the paperwork so he could make some room for his food. “Seph, Cloud’s here with lunch!”
Sephiroth opened his door — Zack caught Cloud’s upraised eyebrows at that, but didn’t have the heart to tell his friend that their superior had isolated himself today to avoid today’s bout of moodiness — and came into the outer part of the office, settling into his usual seat. The three of them ate in relative peace until Cloud, finishing his sandwich, finally gave Zack an exasperated look. “Zack, this has to stop. Really. You need a vacation or something, a chance to get out of Midgar and clear your head.”
The dark-haired man shook his head. “I’m fine.” He stuffed the last of his own sandwich into his mouth before turning back to his work, thus missing the flash of irritation on Cloud’s face.
“Fine, then. Be that way.” Cloud rose. “Sephiroth, I do have some paperwork for you …”
Sephiroth nodded, returning to his own office; Cloud followed, kicking the door shut behind him. “No improvement at all?”
“He’s eating, at least,” the General replied. “However…”
“He’s still working himself to an early grave.” Cloud growled. “Fine. I was hoping he’d be sensible, but by Odin, I’ll get him out of this city one way or another.”
“I can’t guarantee a mission for Zack that will take him out of the city for any prolonged amount of time,” the pale-haired man pointed out.
“I understand that,” Cloud conceded, “but when was the last time he took leave? And I mean real leave,” he added, “not the couple days off everyone gets between Midwinter and New Year or the two or three personal days he takes every so often and spends just hanging around the compound.”
Sephiroth’s face went blank. “…I can’t accurately recall. Certainly before you joined the program.”
“Right.” Cloud nodded decisively, looking pleased with himself. “So I fill out a request for leave and get him to sign it. Shouldn’t be hard if we just shove it in with his regular paperwork.”
“He’ll undoubtedly be angry with you,” Sephiroth cautioned even as he handed over the form.
Cloud shrugged. “Yeah, well, all the better. He needs to get his mind off of Aeris for a while, and if being angry does it, I’ll just have to be ready to handle that when it comes up.” He started filling in the appropriate fields. “I’ll be the bad Turk, and you can be the good Turk.”
“Somehow I don’t think that’s quite how it works.” Still, a touch of a smile graced Sephiroth’s lips at that. “I’m not sure there are ‘good Turks.’”
“Not by most people’s standards, anyway,” Cloud agreed with a grin. He quickly finished the form, and then returned it to Sephiroth.
Sephiroth looked it over. “Even with my signature, this won’t be active if Zack doesn’t sign it as well, unless we get a medical override.”
“Leave that to me.” Cloud snatched a highlighter from Sephiroth’s desk and marked the signature line after Sephiroth filled out the appropriate portions of the form relevant to superior officer. He smirked, smoothing out the paper as best he could. “I learned how to manipulate from the best — Zack should know better by now.” He left Sephiroth’s office, dropping the form into “in” tray on Zack’s desk as he passed by. “See you later?”
“Sure,” the other man replied absently, still working on a thick report.
It was four days later when Zack came hunting down Cloud’s head.
“Cloud!” he yelled across the main gym, stalking over to where the younger man was doing stretches. “Why the hell do I have leave for four weeks, with my intended destination being Gongaga, of all places? Particularly when I did not fill out the form?”
Cloud met the raging SOLDIER’s eyes with a perfectly calm expression, causing Zack’s ire to deepen further. “There’s nothing wrong with having someone else fill out the form as long as the signature is accurate.”
Zack glared. “That was a nasty trick, putting it in with the rest of my paperwork.”
Cloud didn’t react to that, folding his arms over his chest. “When was the last time you had leave, Zack?”
He paused, caught off guard by the comment, then shook his head. “It was more recent than Seph’s,” he said defensively.
The Second Class rolled his eyes. “Right. Completely different situation. When was the last time you went home, anyway?”
“Oh, sure,” Zack snapped, “throw that in my face, Mr. Only Goes Home on Missions.’”
“Yeah, but I write Mom regularly,” Cloud countered, a hint of irritation creeping into his voice.
“I write!” the other SOLDIER protested.
“When was the last time you did, then?”
Zack actually had to stop and think about that one, which pretty much answered Cloud’s question. He silently grimaced when he realized it had been back when he and Aeris had first gotten together — over six years ago, now.
The blond glared at his friend, stubborn determination in his eyes. “Zack,” he began, interrupting the other’s thoughts, “you’re nowhere near in the condition you should be right now. Sephiroth agrees. Either you take the leave, rest, and pull yourself back together… or you’re headed over to the medical wing. Arthur and Morgan have already said you more than meet the qualifications for supervised medical leave. You have to get your head back on straight, and time alone doesn’t seem to be helping.”
Zack paled. He knew what supervised medical leave meant, and the idea wasn’t appealing in the least. He looked apprehensively at Cloud for a long moment, then sighed. “You’re not joking, are you?”
“No.”
“Can’t it be someplace other than Gongaga?” the older man begged. “There’s nothing to do there!”
“All the better, so you really can get some rest,” Cloud told him, clearly unsympathetic. “Besides, with travel time factored in, you’ll only be there about two weeks, anyway. Enjoy the rest and relaxation.” He looked awfully smug about the whole thing.
“Rest and relaxation?” Zack snorted, silently vowing revenge. He hated getting manipulated, even by — especially by — his best friend. “If I’m howling, barking mad by the time I come back, Cloud, it’ll be all your fault. I left that place and haven’t been back for a reason, you know.”
“Don’t worry,” Cloud assured him, still annoyingly self-satisfied. “I’m sure we’ll be able to fix you up if you need it.”
Zack sighed. “Don’t think you’re getting off this easy — I’m still mad at you, just so you know. And I’m only not fighting this because I really don’t want the specialists after me.”
“Be mad all you want, Zack. Just… get better.” Cloud clapped his friend on the shoulder. “Better go pack.”
At least Zack could honestly admit that he didn’t stomp on the way back to his quarters… though it certainly wasn’t like he wasn’t tempted.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Tifa sighed as she put the groceries down for a minute, massaging her fingers. While she certainly was in better shape than many shoppers, her fingers still needed circulation, and the handles of the plastic bags had an annoying tendency to cut that off. Looking up, she spotted a familiar figure. “Cloud! Over here!”
The SOLDIER grinned as he headed over. “Tifa! What’s going on?”
“Just doing some shopping. Elmyra’s feeling a bit off-kilter, so I told her I’d get food for the week. Give me a hand?” He nodded, and she passed him a couple of the bags. “Actually,” she begain as they started walking, “I’m glad to see you. Been meaning to talk to you for weeks. Did you hear what Zack did to Aeris? I think we should go beat him up.”
“What Zack did to Aeris?” Cloud echoed, a sharp frown on his face. “Ohhh no. Zack’s hardly the only one at fault here. Aeris never asked me to talk to him, or give him a message or anything, not even once. You didn’t know Zack when they first split up, but he was completely heartbroken.”
Tifa glared. “So what, Aeris just deserved that?”
“I didn’t say that,” Cloud retorted. “But she can’t pretend none of it was her fault.”
Tifa sighed. “…Look, let’s drop this, okay? I don’t want to fight with you about this.”
“Yeah, okay.” The pair walked in silence for a while, until Cloud asked softly, “So… how is she?”
“Still angry, but… well, I think she’s getting over it.” Tifa chewed on her lip. “It seems like she’s been kinda torn between Zack and Reeve for a while, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s at least a little relieved about this whole thing. I don’t think she wanted to even consider letting herself get too attached to someone else if Zack was still interested, but…”
“Reeve?” Cloud asked.
“Head of Urban Development,” Tifa elaborated. “Also in charge of the MMG Project, so he’s been seeing Aeris pretty regularly, even before he started showing interest in her.”
“He’s really serious about her?”
“Well… he told me so when I asked, yes,” she said, somewhat evasively.
Cloud smiled at that. Tifa suspected she knew what he was thinking, with ‘asked’ being more akin to ‘confronted and threatened with bodily harm unless he proved he had good intentions.’ And honestly… he wouldn’t be too far from the truth. “In any case,” the SOLDIER said after a moment, “Zack’s on leave to go back home, so it’ll be at least four weeks before they run into each other again.”
“Hopefully she’ll have gotten over it by then.” Tifa sighed. “Our little ‘family’ is pretty messed up, isn’t it? Zack’s like a brother to you, had a bad breakup with the woman who’s like a sister to us both—”
Cloud “hmm”ed a little at that. “Wouldn’t that make them related, too?”
“Oh, hush. You know what I mean,” Tifa grumbled, putting her bags down to unlock the door. “Actually,” she began, a little hesitant, “that brings me to something I’ve been thinking about for a while…”
“Yeah?” Cloud scooped up her bags and walking to the kitchen, putting the bags on the counter.
“You remember a couple weeks ago I told you that I didn’t know what I wanted?” Cloud nodded, and much to Tifa’s relief, that flash of hurt on his face was nowhere in evidence. It seemed that the wounds from their breakup had healed for him, too. “Well, I think I know now.” She took a deep breath. “I was wondering if you’d be my oath-sib.”
Cloud stared at her, shocked; Tifa wasn’t completely surprised. The tradition of oath-kin was a very old one in the Nibel mountains, used in much the same manner as marriage to formalize the bond between close families or as a peacemaking measure between feuding ones. It was never lightly offered; oath-kin were, under the law, equal to blood-kin, and divine retribution was promised against those who abused the oath.
As the silence dragged on, Tifa found herself fidgeting. “I don’t really have any family left, you know,” she babbled, “and I’d really like to have someone I can depend on. Your mom’s a great person, and the two of us make a really good team—”
Cloud shook himself. “Sorry. You just surprised me, is all,” he confessed. “But… I’d be honored.”
Tifa’s smile was brilliant. “Do you mind if we use one of your knives, then? I don’t think I have anything really sterile around here.” Cloud pulled out one of his blades, purified it with a quick Fire spell, and offered it to her. “Then, in ancient Nibel tradition…” She took the knife and made a shallow cut on her right palm before returning it to Cloud, who did likewise. She grasped his hand in her own. “Blood mixed, kin eternal.”
“Let there be no difference between thy house and mine, lest the gods strike us down,” Cloud finished, then tapped into his Restore to heal the cuts to thin, pale scars. They both stared at them for a long moment. “So,” he said finally, “does this give me rights to beat up anyone bothering you?”
“Only if I get the same,” Tifa returned, grinning.
“Deal,” he declared, returning her grin… but a glance at the clock made him sigh. “Much as I’d love to hang around, I gotta go. Promised Sephiroth I’d run something over to Sector Three.” He paused. “…Take care of Aeris for me? I have a feeling she won’t want to see me for a while.”
“I will. And I’ll call you when it looks like you can come around again,” Tifa promised. She hesitated for a moment. “…Isn’t it a bit weird that you do so much for the General directly? I mean, you’re only Second Class, but you’re practically his right-hand man.”
“No,” Cloud corrected, “Zack’s his right-hand man.” He paused. “…I guess it is kinda weird, though. Never really thought about it before.” He shrugged, heading out the door. “See you around, Tifa.”
“Definitely.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
When she wanted to think, Aeris went to the church. She’d been doing a lot of that lately, Tifa knew, so she wasn’t particularly surprised to find her friend lying sprawled among the flowers in front of the altar, staring up at the hole in the dilapidated roof, which allowed in that inexplicable sunlight that nurtured these blooms.
“Hello, Tifa,” Aeris said absently, not even looking at her.
Tifa shook her head; she’d never get used to how the other woman always knew who it was. “Hey.” She walked up the aisle, pausing at the edge of the flowerbed. “Um, is it all right if I join you?”
There was a moment of silence, and then Aeris nodded. “They don’t mind. Just try not to hurt too many of ‘em.”
She meant the flowers, Tifa knew, as strange as it sounded, and so she nodded, carefully lying down among them. As peaceful as the church was, that serenity increased tenfold like this, surrounded by green and growing things, the warm earth at her back and the sunlight on her face. No wonder Aeris came here so often.
But Tifa wasn’t here to enjoy the calm of the church, and so after a few minutes she ventured, “I ran into Cloud today.”
“Oh,” said Aeris, her voice neutral.
“He said Zack’s going to be out of the city for about a month,” Tifa explained quietly. “He also hoped you were feeling okay.”
“Cloud’s sweet that way.” Aeris laughed, the sound almost harsh. “I wish some days I could have given him what he wanted. He’s loyal to the bone.”
“…you wanna talk about it?” Tifa ventured, turning her head to look at the other woman.
“We both said a lot of things I think we’ll end up regretting,” Aeris confessed. “I know I do.” She sighed. “Things really can change a lot in five years…”
Tifa waited.
“So that’s the end of it,” she concluded, voice definitely bitter now. “He gets General Sephiroth, and I’m left kicking myself for not going after him right after I found out Hojo ran off.
Tifa moved her hand to take Aeris’s, squeezing it comfortingly. “I’m sure there’s someone else out there who’d care for you,” she reassured her.
“You’re not going to start acting like Mom, dropping unsubtle hints about how wonderful Reeve is, are you?” Aeris sounded almost amused.
Tifa couldn’t help laughing at that. “He’s a nice guy, and he certainly likes you,” she pointed out. “But… well, it’s your life; you should do what you want to do with it.”
“…Thanks, Tifa.”
She smiled. “No problem.”
They lay there in silence for a time, simply enjoying the peace of the church, until Tifa spoke up absently. “You know, it seems like everyone’s always so focused on finding that special someone.”
“A lot of people are,” Aeris pointed out. “It makes people happy to have someone to share their life with.”
Tifa made a noncommittal noise at that. “It just makes me feel weird sometimes, ‘cause I’m really not ready to settle down yet. There’s so much of the world I still want to see, and once I become a master… well, as neat as it probably is to wander the world like Master Zangan, I’d really like to open my own school somewhere.” She shrugged. “And… I don’t know. It just feels like having a family would get in the way of that. The traveling thing, at least.”
“Nobody ever said you had to have children, though,” Aeris said reasonably. “And hey, you never know — you might fall in love with someone who’d be willing to travel with you.”
“Maybe,” Tifa allowed. The very idea of getting married but not having children was unheard of in Nibelheim, but… “There’s no real point in worrying about that till it happens, though. For now, I’m just glad I have such good friends.”
Aeris squeezed her hand, and Tifa could hear the smile in her voice. “So am I.”
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