heee. ^___^ Trying to decide whether to post the first two tonight or wait until I have all three done... anyway, small evil snip.
ETA: Okay, not so small snip. Outran the comment length field anyway. Off to rehack...
Zack's
box held a manila file folder with a packing form on top of a mound of foam
peanuts. Sephiroth's eyes narrowed; from his position, all Cloud could read
on the folder was the headline of the form, but that was more than enough.
The form proclaimed itself to be one Form 33976-Z: Equipment List and Procedural
Instructions for the Deployment and Operation of One Shinra Military-Grade
Party In A Box.
"Zack,
you didn't," Cloud muttered.
"Of
course I did! Our esteemed General here learns everything best from military
manuals anyway; I thought I'd just give him some help he knows how to handle!"
Zack
wadded up a ball of paper from the floor and tossed it at Sephiroth's ankle,
because the man was rubbing his temples again, eyes closed tightly against
the pain of the world. "Come on, General, give us low-ranking grunts
the field training version."
Sephiroth
said a word Cloud hadn't realized a man like him would know... although, on
second thought, the General had spent the vast majority of his life working
among soldiers.
The
first three items excavated from the box were CDs that proclaimed themselves
to be variants of 'funky groove euro dance beat techno house party mix' music,
with adjectives more or less scattered at random among the garish neon covers.
The next was a plastic lava lamp. With glowing fluorescent purple lava blobs
floating in electric green ooze. It looked like a lab experiment gone horribly
wrong. Sephiroth's cat-slit pupils were flaring and contracting in an effort
to deal with the near-radioactive vibrance of the colors.
"It's
fluorescent!" Zack said proudly. "When you turn on the blacklight,
it goes weird."
"The
blacklight," Sephiroth echoed, with a faint thread of pain in his voice.
"Don't
worry, it's in there too; just keep shoveling peanuts out of the road. Want
a hand?"
"No,
thank you, Lieutenant; my desk has become enough of a casualty of war already."
In
addition to the blacklight, the box also contained half a dozen hip-flask-sized
bottles of alcohol in colors that were never intended to be considered consumable,
including one that roiled liquid silver like mercury.
"That
one there matches your eyes," Zack pointed out helpfully. "In case,
you know, you want to destroy your liver with something that's color coordinated
to your eyeballs."
"You
are an idiot," Cloud said helplessly.
"Hey,
I didn't go insulting your taste in presents, did I?"
"Yes
you did!"
"Oh.
Right. Sorry 'bout that. --Anyway, there's some more
stuff tucked in the corners, Seph, just dump the peanuts on the floor or something.
Or stuff 'em in a drawer for the next party, they
make great confetti after you've gotten drunk enough..."
"...I
have never been that drunk."
"Which is why you have your party in a box, so we can help fix that!
What are friends for, man..."
no subject
Zack's box held a manila file folder with a packing form on top of a mound of foam peanuts. Sephiroth's eyes narrowed; from his position, all Cloud could read on the folder was the headline of the form, but that was more than enough. The form proclaimed itself to be one Form 33976-Z: Equipment List and Procedural Instructions for the Deployment and Operation of One Shinra Military-Grade Party In A Box.
"Zack, you didn't," Cloud muttered.
"Of course I did! Our esteemed General here learns everything best from military manuals anyway; I thought I'd just give him some help he knows how to handle!"
Zack wadded up a ball of paper from the floor and tossed it at Sephiroth's ankle, because the man was rubbing his temples again, eyes closed tightly against the pain of the world. "Come on, General, give us low-ranking grunts the field training version."
Sephiroth said a word Cloud hadn't realized a man like him would know... although, on second thought, the General had spent the vast majority of his life working among soldiers.
The first three items excavated from the box were CDs that proclaimed themselves to be variants of 'funky groove euro dance beat techno house party mix' music, with adjectives more or less scattered at random among the garish neon covers. The next was a plastic lava lamp. With glowing fluorescent purple lava blobs floating in electric green ooze. It looked like a lab experiment gone horribly wrong. Sephiroth's cat-slit pupils were flaring and contracting in an effort to deal with the near-radioactive vibrance of the colors.
"It's fluorescent!" Zack said proudly. "When you turn on the blacklight, it goes weird."
"The blacklight," Sephiroth echoed, with a faint thread of pain in his voice.
"Don't worry, it's in there too; just keep shoveling peanuts out of the road. Want a hand?"
"No, thank you, Lieutenant; my desk has become enough of a casualty of war already."
In addition to the blacklight, the box also contained half a dozen hip-flask-sized bottles of alcohol in colors that were never intended to be considered consumable, including one that roiled liquid silver like mercury.
"That one there matches your eyes," Zack pointed out helpfully. "In case, you know, you want to destroy your liver with something that's color coordinated to your eyeballs."
"You are an idiot," Cloud said helplessly.
"Hey, I didn't go insulting your taste in presents, did I?"
"Yes you did!"
"Oh. Right. Sorry 'bout that. --Anyway, there's some more stuff tucked in the corners, Seph, just dump the peanuts on the floor or something. Or stuff 'em in a drawer for the next party, they make great confetti after you've gotten drunk enough..."
"...I have never been that drunk."
"Which is why you have your party in a box, so we can help fix that! What are friends for, man..."